i was hanging out with a friend of mine and a friend of hers yesterday, and, damn my male brain, all i could think about was getting in the sack with both of them. at this point i realized, i have no clue about how to ask for this kind of thing. under what circumstances is it acceptable to ask for this? please, dopers, give a young man hope. tell me there is a way!
A threesome is something that sounds a whole lot better then it actually is. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself ever since I got married and my wife said “Not in a million years.” <sigh> I shall have to live vicariously through you or attempt to squish your hopes and desires.
Marc
There’s a proper way to ask for a threesome?
Insinuating that you have to ask?
Darn! All this time I was just hoping it would happen on its own.
In my sad experience, a threesome= a porno tape, and two hands…
i watched an instructional film on this once.
First, you take both of the girls to a lingerie store and encourage them to try on the lingerie right in the middle of the store. One of them will need help tying on a corset, and that’s where you jump in. The two girls will start kissing, some music will cue up, and then you’ll know you’re in the clear.
what?
That wasn’t an instructional film?
jarbaby
There is NO Proper way to ASK! But if you compliment them both on how well they get along together and how much fun it might be play together they might take it as an innocent suggestion.
And then again they may both slap testosterone out of you but they will both give it some private thought later.
Who knows? what thoughts lurk in the minds of women?
GOOD LUCK!
[Butthead] Hey, baby. Do you chicks, like, wanna have a threesome or something. Huh Huh Huh Huh. That would be pretty cool. [/Butthead]
I think girls would respond well to this. They’ll think you’re joking, but deep down inside, they’ll be asking themselves if you really are. Watch for eye contact, and uncomfortable silences. If both are present, you may be in luck. I always find it easier to bring up certain subjects under the guise of humor.
OK Amati, I am going to answer your question as best I can… (takes a deep breath)
I am a gal who actually has interest BUT has never participated in a threesome because only one guy asked, and he just happened to be my boyfriend at the time.
You see, if it had been a guy friend, who I liked and trusted, I most probably would have said YES.
Obviously, I can only speak for myself here and not for all women, but I consider myself to have a pretty “ordinary” sex life (By ordinary here, I don’t mean that that is how I perform in bed. No siree. There is nothing ordinary about those talents! I mean that I don’t sleep around and do super-kinky things with just anyone)
If I am romantically involved with a man, I could not have a threesome with him because my extreme jealousy will rear its ugly head. But…the girl is just a friend, right? If you have an open relationship with her – go for it! Act at first like your joking, see her reaction, if she and her pal aren’t mortified – HAVE FUN!
If you have to ask, it ain’t going to happen. In my experience (yes, I’ve actually done this a few times), the whole thing just developed out of the situation we all found ourselves in. Sure, you can set the scene (hot tubs are a good choice, everyone’s already naked), but if you have to ask then odds are it isn’t going to occur. Worse yet, if you do ask and are rebuffed then you’ve thrown that blanket over the entire relationship. Take it as it comes but be prepared for it not to entirely live up to your expectations - life is not a porno movie.
Life is not a porno movie? What? What??
So I shouldn’t be greeting the pizza delivery guy in nothing but a small hand towel and a smile?
So I shouldn’t be delivering pizzas with the opening line, “Would you care to try my pepperoni?”
Amati-first of all have you slept with either
of them individually? if you have theres more of
a chance. Second-why do you want to get in bed with both
of them anyway? I’ll ask all the guys this-why 3some
fantasies when most guys can’t even keep up with one
girl in bed?
Ive always wondered this?!
ALL the guys? scredle?? I see that you’re fairly new here, or have been lurking and finally posting. Don’t assume, m’kay?
I’ve never had a single bit of interest in a threesome, a foursome, or a duodecasome. One real lover, thankyouverymuch. More than one can hope for in this life. One lover who connects with you on a primal level.
Pity that your lovers seem to include men who haven’t been able to keep up with you. Hope that changes for you one day. 
Cartooniverse
Four boobs.
Four boobs…duuuuuude.
~t
This may seem silly but a spirited game of “truth or dare” might help.
It’s fun, you get to know each other better and you can ask questions that you would normally get slapped for. If nothing happens you all have had a good time.
If something does happen…well, hooray!
Never underestimate the power of seemingly innocent childhood games.
Here is a guy’s perspective. I am 24, married, and in an open relationship with my wife. When we first started talking about having other partners was well before we were married. It took almost 6 months from the time we started talking about it, until we actually had our first threesome.
There is no sure fire way of getting a threesome quickly (unless you have the money to pay certain individuals to do said threesome). Bring it up in conversation with your girlfriend. After you have had sex, or when you are talking about fantasies. Even if she freaks out over the fact that you want to have a threesome you can quickly back out and say it was just a fantasy. If you get a good response, then over the course of a few weeks (or months) bring it up in other conversations. Ask her how she feels about other girls or guys if that is what you want. Go out people watching and point out good-looking girls and guys. Ask her what she thinks about the nice looking girl with the great body or the good-looking guy with that awesome hair. Get her interested in looking at other people sexually.
By this time a couple of months have passed. You should now start moving her towards a certain person. Do you have someone in mind? Invite her/him over for dinner and a movie. Be casual and friendly. Don’t be the initiator of sexual conversation, but allow it to go its course. If it turns to sex, then ask your girlfriend and friend about sexual fantasies. They in turn (most likely) will ask about yours. If so remember the biggest rule: BE MATURE!!! Don’t turn into Bevis and Butthead here. Throw in other fantasies first. Something that turns you on, but at the same time is sexy. Talk about making love on a beach, or using chocolate syrup. If the conversation continues, then throw in the threesome idea.
You may have to have many of these private dinner dates before anything happens. As lame as it sounds, try playing Truth or Dare or Strip Poker. I have found that sometimes people want to be sexual, but can’t so they need a catalyst. These types of games will break down walls that some people have a hard time breaking themselves. Only use them if you feel that the others around you want to do something sexual, but can’t bring themselves to do it. Never do this on your first date.
In the end, it all goes on what you feel at the moment. If none of these suggestions work then you will have to think on the fly. Always remember to be mature about it, and not think with the smaller of your two heads. Be considerate of your partner, and if she balks then back off. It is not worth destroying your relationship over this.
I seem to be the type of woman that men want to bring home to their wives. Seriously. I’ve been approached by at least 3 male friends in the past who wanted me to sleep with them and their wives. Maybe I’m the equivalent of an “Intro to Bisexuality” course or something.
That said, these were all people that I was very comfortable with to begin with. They didn’t just ask “Hey, will you sleep with me and my wife?” It was a bit more mature than that. Though damned if I can remember details.
Bottom line? The fantasy is generally better than the reality of it.
Seems like we had the same idea here virtee.
Yup, yup, robgruver.
Just a bit of disclosure…I have never used Truth or Dare to initiate a threesome. I’ve only ever had one threesome in my life and the reality wasn’t anywhere close to the fantasy. I can’t even recall how we got it started. What I do remember was that it was awkward (physically and emotionally) and probably shouldn’t have been done because none of our sexual attitudes were very mature. Would I do it again? Probably not. It would take some very special people to convince me otherwise.
I have used Truth or Dare to find out how someone feels about me (or others), to get to know about things that the person would probably never talk about and to steal a kiss (or more). The game is fun when you’re feeling flirty or just a little bit naughty.