[quote=“lisalan, post:1, topic:566875”]
I have always been a punctal person all of my life. I believe punctuality shows that you have mastered the skill of time management. I also believe that punctuality shows strength of character. It shows that you are dependable, care about other people’s feelings and respect their time.
People who are late are deficient in the skill of time management. Lateness shows a weaknes of character. It shows that you are not dependable, are selfish and put your feelings above others and have no respect for other people’s time.
Late people…I loathe you:D You are my crypotnite.
I’ll try to prove you wrong, or to at least expand on the issue: I was as a teenager and young adult, through most of my twenties, habitually late, to the extent that it hurt my standing in work (otherwise excellent) due to my “reputation”. During those years I had other issues, such as heavy drinking, but I don’t think that was a major factor. I’m a night owl type, prefer late to early evening, come alive when the sun goes down. That’s one side of me that’s remained constant. However, over the past thirty years I’ve become almost compulsively punctual, nearly always get to places early, take the bus or train prior to the one that will get me where I’m going on time as insurance, just in case there’s a delay of some kind. Yet I’m the same person I was when I was latecomer. I was a responsible individual then and am still one now.
My problem, in my “tardy” days wasn’t some moral flaw, inconsiderateness, apathy or even bad attitude. The issue was something deep inside me (I’m not going to give you my life story…) that I had to contend with. Call it passive aggression or low self-esteem. There were many causes, and I had to contend with those issues. As I look back on it, my habitual lateness was, reduced to its essentials, just that: a habit, a bad habit, very bad, and for many years it marked me, stigmatized me, and then I overcame it. I can’t speak for others but I have noticed character traits similar to mine in other “late people” I’ve known, and sometimes have tried to help them. It feels awful to be late. The habit is very hard to break, as it becomes embedded in one’s character (i.e. people expect you to be that way). It’s akin to an addiction, akin to smoking or using dope, and it’s a tough and painful one to break. I don’t think it’s a character flaw in the way you and others on this thread have described it. Nor does it suggest that a latecomer type is apathetic or indifferent to the feelings of others. They’re often keenly aware of their flaw, grapple with it, no matter what kind of “smiley face” they seem to put on it.
Lateness is, for some people, a serious problem. On the one hand it speaks volumes about who they are as individuals, and yet it’s also a stand alone problem that can be, needs to be, addressed or a person’s life is going to be impaired, maybe even ruined by it. Late people have my sympathy. I know that they drive others crazy sometimes,–and they usually know it–and they often can’t help themselves change. They tend to feel, to indulge in psychobabble for a bit, unempowered, as if branded by some kind of “tardy DNA” that marks them, which of course isn’t true. They need help and understanding. Most of all, they need to help and understand themselves. Based on many of the responses I’ve read on this thread, they’re not going to get help from others. It’s an unattractive trait, and it needs to be addressed as such, like bad person hygeine.
