{{{norinew}}}
Oh, God, ((((norine)))) and ((((((mudgirl))))). I also want to crawl through my computer and kill them. You’re wonderful, I’m amazed that you didn’ try to kill them, and keep us updated, okay?
Oh, believe me, I want to kill them. Slowly would be preferable.
Thanks for all the hugs, guys!
I’m sorry to hear about this, too, Norine, but I’m glad you’re all dealing with it so well, and that the police are taking this seriously.
If you can, find out how to get restraining orders against both boys and their families to discourage them from, ah, visiting once the boys have been arrested. You may also want to arrange for the police to patrol your neighborhood for a while so they’re close in case there’s trouble.
Robin
That sounds like a good idea. Thanks for the suggestion.
You have far better self-control than me. I’d be the one in the slammer after the cops found the bloody pulps in the yard.
Don’t keep us updated. I don’t think you should have posted any of this here on a public board, when there’s a current criminal case involved. I’m glad you took your daughter seriously and called the police right away, though.
My advice is not to say another word about this matter here, at least not until after it’s resolved. Good luck.
That’s a smart kid you have there, Norine. Hope the process is quick and these boys get into a whole heap of trouble for what they’ve done, and not just shipped to a foster home where they’ll keep this shit up. Let us know what happens, please!
As much as I would like to be here to support you, norinew, I have to agree with Baldwin. You’re involved in a criminal matter now, and you need to make sure some defense attorney doesn’t try to use your posts here to pick apart the case against your daughter.
That said, make sure your daughter feels in control of every step of the situation. Having to sit down with police and CPS can be very scary, so (and I’m already sure you’re doing this) make sure she understands exactly what is going on and why she needs to talk to this person or that.
Good luck!
As someone who watched a perp temporarily get off scot free when I took matters into my own hands instead of letting the law handle everything after he put my child in danger, let me too commend you on your self control and reassure you that the legal/ law enforcement route will yield the best results in the long run, especially since it’s again adolescents you, an adult, are dealing with.
I’d not blame you or your husband later though, maybe after clearing it with the police or an attorney, to have a steel-faced conversation with these boys’ parents letting them know exactly where you put the responsibility for these actions and making clear that in no uncertain terms are their boys ever to come into your yard or ever initiate unsupervised contact with your child again.
I’m so sorry this happened, norinew. I’m proud of your response and hope you all find the means to get past this quickly and to your satisfaction.
I’ll echo the props and good wishes. You’re one smart mom—not freaking out in front of the child, calling the police right away, and so on.
But of course, it’ll be critical that you get counseling for mudgirl (and you and your husband if you think it’s appropriate). The little ones can get it twisted around in their heads and think it’s all their fault or that they’re damaged goods etc. and you can’t have that. So you get a qualified professional to help you make sure she resumes a healthy attitude and outlook.
Don’t beat yourself up. You can’t be with your kids every moment of every day or foresee every possible situation.
Best to you and your family.
I’m thinking mostly in curse words at this point, but decided not to post them.
Woman, I think you’ve been through enough. I’m so sorry.
Everyone has said what I’ve been thinking [especially the homicidal thoughts part], so I’ll just add more {{{hugs}}} for you and your little one.
Thanks for the hugs and kind words, people.
I believe, though, that I’ll take Baldwin’s advice and not say anything more about the legal aspect of it here.
You can PM me if you want.
Just dropping by to say that you handled it beautifully. I’m keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers today.
Do keep us in mind when you can say something.
Well, if certain Dopers would email me when they owe me one, I’d think about you guys more! 
Just saw this and I’ll add to the pile-on of “wow, you handled that perfectly, far better than I could have”. I expect if it were me, the boys in question would no longer be able to shoplift, no longer having arms attached to their bodies. I’m quite familiar with the “Mama Bear” reaction of “I wa nna kill KILL KILL!!!”.
Hang in there. I know Mudgirl will be fine, and honestly I hope the boys in question are neutralized - either through being locked up, or even getting placed in a situation where they can be helped somehow.
I’ve walked a mile in your shoes so I know exactly what you’re going through with the rage and the doubt and the sleepless nights. I’m not going to offer you any well meaning platitudes and gestures, but I will share the benefits of my experience if you would like.
First, you’ve done everything right so far. The system does work. Unfortunately your incident is not unique and the authorities have to deal with this kind of crap all too frequently. What this does mean is that they know what they’re doing and will do everything in their power to protect you and your little girl and to bring the little shits that did this to justice.
CPS will probably mandate counseling for mudgirl, the only “fortunate” parts to this is that it didn’t go any further than it did and there was no violence. She should be fine in the long run with lots of love and support from you. And far better in the short term than you’re likely to be because you know what happened. She just knows that something was wrong but doesn’t yet understand why it was wrong, only that mommy says it was.
Lots of love and hugs for you and the little one, and while it can’t be undone and will never be forgotten, it will become distant and something that can be observed without breaking down or having the urge to beat someone nigh unto death.
Thank you for sharing this. It really, truly is a comfort!