This is a rough quote, from memory, of a The Critic episode.
Jay is interviewing a child star:
Jay: “Why are you talking like that.”
Child Star: “Test audiences find it adowable and iwesistible.”
Jay: “Well I find it wepulsive and wepugnant.”
Child Star: “That speech impediment is a registered trademark. You’ll be hearing from my attorneys.”
Gott in Himmel!
I have a co-worker who occasionally speaks in Pwincess Pweciousian when she’s on the phone with her husband or her mom. After a particularly long night of listening to this, I came home and spent several minutes griping about it to my sympathetic husband, adding, “My love, if I ever start talking to you like that, shoot me.”
He gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry. I will.”
“Gambler” lyrics, heh. "You gotta know when to howd’em, know when to fowd’em, know when to wawk away, know when to wun…