My best (and to be honest, pretty much only) friend just friend-broke-up with me. I understand why it had to happen, she just got a boyfriend and she knew I had a crush on her and she said it would be too awkward to keep talking to me.
I’m not pitting her, that would be mean. I just feel the need to vent. I totally understand. It just sucks, y’know? I really hope she’s happy with her BF, I just really wish it didn’t have to be this way. I don’t mean that she didn’t choose me, I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed but I was a mess and I’m moving in like 6 months anyway. It’s just… I lost my best friend ever.
It’s weird, I’m crying way more than I cried when my freaking ex-girlfriend broke up with me (though I guess a mix of being ready for a relationship to end and being in a state of anhedonic depression might explain that more). But at the same time, I’m feeling strangely happy just focusing on the fact that we got to be friends at all. And honestly, I’m feeling a lot better now that she told me rather than suddenly and randomly stonewalling me like she had been for the past week (which I assume corresponds with when she got her boyfriend). When did I develop coping mechanisms? That’s a new feature, I should read my patch notes more often.
May I pit the idea that it’s not possible to be friends with someone you find attractive or who finds you attractive? I swear you guys complicate your lives too much with that.
I would normally agree with you, but I think in this case she was right. Near the end we were getting kind of flirty with each other. Once when she was really sad I hand-painted her a flower pot with her favorite things on it complete with flowers. While I maintain that it was intended as a purely platonic gesture, I can’t deny that I was probably subconsciously pushing boundaries a bit (and I feel like she kind of was too in reverse with some things).
When it came down to it, I don’t think we were ever truly close to dating for a lot of reasons – my mental issues, the fact I’m moving and we both know it, and so on, but I have to admit that the friend/dating boundary was starting to blur a bit. It would have been kind of unethical to continue that way. And while we could both try and be grown ups about it, I feel like there’s a certain limit there. In the end, even trying to go back from the way we were to super-seriously platonic friends would have been awkward and kind of hard.
Online real estate listers, there is a category for “Duplex.” That category is NOT “House” or “Single family dwelling.” Too many times I’ve found the perfect house, at the perfect price, and on closer inspection, I start to suspect that it is an attached house (which we categorically do not want at this point in our lives*). Do they think that if you fall in love with the house online, you won’t notice when you show up to look at is that THERE IS ANOTHER FREAKING HOUSE ATTACHED TO IT?!?
*If you have a duplex and you love it, more power to you. We don’t want any attached house at this point.
Damn. Sorry to hear that. My dad just went into stage 5, and will be starting dialysis next month. He was really set against it when he started renal failure a couple years ago, but now that he’s approaching no other options, he’s figuring out he needs to have a go at it. And drop the weight his doctors have been telling him to for years now. And so much more I’d like to rant about, but I’ll save it for now. I have some research to do and will likely start a thread about it at some point.
I guess what bothers me the most - well, there are lots of things bothering me - I’ve been on the list for a year now for a kidney. I was told my numbers were so decent that I probably wouldn’t have to wait too long. I can take pretty much anyone’s kidney. A few friends called to see if they could donate, but their own health concerns prevent it. I’m grateful they even tried.
We took proactive steps to get healthy. I’ve almost quit smoking. I dropped 15lbs in the past few months, completely changing my diet. The change of diet is what has exacerbated the kidney failure. I’ve been taking in too much phosphorus, and my kidneys are no longer processing it. I now know why my nails are breaking left and right - calcium is being leeched. Ironic.
I know there are lots of options for dialysis, and I know it’s not the end of the world, but dammit. I just want to be healthy.
She doesn’t use Facebook etc. In my last email to her I mentioned that after I move if she ever wants to talk and/or she feels it’s not awkward, to email me. I don’t really expect it to happen, but I mentioned it so that ball’s in her court.
Just to set the stage, we live in the north east corner of Narragansett bay.
Vorlon Jr. is a senior in the local trade school (because the high school is nicknamed ‘Lord of the Flies High’) and he reported this gem today: One of the females in one of his classes wondered aloud what ocean we were by. This produced the expected wide eyed looks. When she was told that she could dunk her toes in the Atlantic ocean, 15 miles away, she replied that she thought we were “by the Specific Ocean”.
I advised my son to max out his 401k as early as possible.
I just saw a story on the local news about people who do dialysis overnight, and just sleep through it. That sounded like a fantastic idea - if you’re just going to be lying there for hours anyway, why not do it overnight? Apparently it gives even better results, too.
I’m hoping I can do in home, daily dialysis. I’d just plug and filter a few hours while working, napping, whatever. I was reading on the overnight in office type - I don’t know that I’d get much sleep, and sleeping away from home three nights a week sounds very sucky.
I’m still processing it all. I’m pissed at the stand in doc (my regular guy has been out ill). I had to remind her twice what kind of kidney disease I have. I had to remind her I only have one known bio-relative AND that she may have the same crap. I found some sites to read that are helping. I told my mom and she did not freak out.
And my rant doesn’t trump any other rant. I called my best friend to cry… only to find out that she was fired this week and her husband attempted suicide last night. He’s now on a psych hold while she’s job hunting. So… yeah.
My mother was moved from pills to insuline a few months back. Her latest batch of analysis came up with very high numbers. She’s now thinking of asking the doc for anxiety meds.
Because you know, eating less than three pieces of fruit for breakfast and really, really, really not having any chocolate in the house is not something she can do without more pills. Nor is having a machiatto without a croissant. Or refraining from irrigating the baguette of the sandwich she’ll eat in the train with olive oil. Those among us who are able to do such things without pills, we’re figments of somebody else’s imagination; certainly not of hers.
I sometimes think the woman is trying to hold up the Pharma industry all by her lonesome.
I’m sorry, MissTake and Jragon. I hope things improve for both of you.
Nava, I hope your mom finds some sense.
Life sucks sometimes.
Next week for me will be sucky; hubby has another chemo treatment, and of course it will suck worse for him. He says that he can feel some of his lymph glands have started to shrink, so that’s a good thing. We will see what his blood numbers look like on Tuesday when we see his oncologist.
