The Rather Wimp-ish, Soccermom Society of America.

The BBQ Pit
1

Jesus H. Christ!
Titty-gate? This is actually a major concern? I guess the 9/11 attack is officially forgotten and the smothering blanket of self-involved superficiality has fallen over the land again.
Fuck you Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson. Just say “Yeah, we showed a tit! Deal with it!”
You pussies! You machine-honed, small-minded, corporate dick-sucking pussies!
And NFL, you brazen hypocrites! You should’ve just kept your mouths shut and let the little storm pass.

White House Press core, fuck you too! Ask some fucking questions instead of bending over and taking Bush up your asses! Just because HE is taking it from behind, doesn’t mean YOU have to, too! And you TV newspeople! Quit selling fear and sensationalism. Be calm, like ME!!!

Ignorant Patriotic Assholes, bite me! Don’t call anyone who speaks their mind “unpatriotic”!
I’ll say whatever the fuck I want. YOU are the ‘unpatriotic’ one when you terrorize people with fear, asswipes! You evil cultist asswipes! Go drink your arsenic koolaide!

Soccer Moms, FIND SOMETHING TO DO!!! instead of trying to compensate for your failed goals by living through your kids! Take off your clothes and run naked in the streets before your Stepford Wife mentalities totally snuff all joy out of life!
Suck a dick! Smoke some weed! Or at LEAST read a Non-Oprah book once in a while!!

Right Wing Extremists–FUNDIES!–Stay the hell out of the government!! Just stay in your churches and pray and wait patiently for the Rapture to take you up to your Heaven where you can visit Osama and his 70 virgin wives on weekends and barbeque and play volleyball! Have fun up there! I don’t want to hear from you anymore! Don’t let Hell-on-Earth’s door hit you in the ass on your way out!!

Michael Jackson! Move to France! Vive la differance, you crazy fuck!!

Fad Diets! Go away!!! There’s only one way to lose weight and be healthy!
EAT RIGHT, EAT LESS, AND EXERCISE! That’s it! That’s the end of it!

People Who Sue for Stupid Shit! Go fuck yourselves! When you spill hot coffee, or trip over a rock in the desert, or get caught in the rain, or whatever life hands you, JUST FUCKING DEAL WITH IT! There’s no one to blame!!!

2

You seem to have a lot of issues to work out. Good luck with all that.
[sub]“Suck a dick!” heh heh[/sub]

3

Anything in particular pissing you off?

4

This one was actually pretty funny. :smiley:

But yeah, the OP needs to focus a little better.

5

Uh huh. :rolleyes:

6

Yeah! And A-Rod going to the Yankees! What the fuck is up with that?!

YYEEAARRRGGGG!!!

7

The more germane question might be, “Anything in particular NOT pissing you off?”

8

(emphasis mine)

Yeah, well, female genitalia tends to do that…

9

Well, I thought it was a pretty good survey of general rant worthy topics.

10

Would you prefer individual threads addressing each of his topics?
Oh, and I’ve gotta call BS on the “people who sue for stupid shit” line. The OP would sue at the drop of a hat (to quote Bill Bryson, “I daresay someone somewhere has sued over a dropped hat, and won millions for the pain and suffering it caused”) given half a chance to win a couple mill, as would the rest of us.

11

So–just to be clear–as long as I’m sneaking off from the kid’s soccer game at halftime to smoke a doobie in the parking lot I’m still cool, right?

12

Soccer Moms of America, Beajerry wants to be your back door man, apparently.

13

Thanks, dumbass. It’s partly because of people like you that medical and auto insurance rates are so ridiculously high in many places.

14

Ouch. I mean really, ouch.

I thought you loved me.

Besides, I don’t drive like an asshole, I don’t spill my coffee, or do anything else which increases the likelihood that I’ll get the chance to sue somebody. I’m just saying when the ambulance-chaser comes to you and talks about all those zeros (in your settlement, not the people who are suit happy) it will be hard to say “fuck off”, no?

15

Hee Hee hee, I rather liked this post. General rants can be really liberating can’t they?

16

This could be rather interesting to watch. I second this suggestion.

17

dies laughing

Thanks, man. You’ve made my day.

18

I cast my vote with those who find this a pretty funny general rant.

19

Forgive my irritability, but this is a pet peeve of mine. Frivolous lawsuits clog our courtrooms, raise insurance costs, and generally annoy the hell out of me. There needs to be serious reform in this area of our legal system.

No, I wouldn’t file a lawsuit for any amount unless it was seriously justified, and even then I wouldn’t necessarily want to profit from it.

20

Hey man, Jacko’s a born and bred American, so you guys can just keep him for yourselves and deal with it. Don’t go dumping your crazy shit on the rest of us.