This morning while discussing the upcoming Spring Break week long vacation, Dominic piped up with a bit of information I didn’t know before. “In Russia they have Spring Break all the time”
Wow. That must be so cool.
My husband also referred to something being “in the future” and Dominic said “Daaaad! We ARE in the future!”
China bambina’s word of the day is “uh-oh”, which sounds pretty funny here in China. I mean, this is not a Chinese expression. She gets looks from the Chinese 'cause it just stands out and from foreigners who don’t expect to hear that expression, especially from someone 20 months old.
My 5-year-old was whining about having nothing to do while I made supper. She walks over to the table, turns over a stack of papers and finds her half-finished potholder (the kind you weave on the little plastice square loom). She says, “Ok, Mom, I’ll just take this and leave in peace.”
I got a whole book full of these from my kid. Oh, now you’ve got me started.
The most recent entry:
Dad (pointing to globe): Here’s where Oma lives, near Amsterdam. Here’s where we are in Phoenix. You know how long it takes to fly that far?
7-year-old kid: No, how long?
Dad: Eleven whole hours!!
Kid (thoughtfully): Whoo! Hope Oma gets some peanuts!
Story #1: When I get up in the morning on workdays, I go straight to the shower then put on business casual clothes. When I get up on weekend mornings, I put on a pair of shorts and go get the paper, make coffee, etc. When my son Jake was about 2 1/2, I had gotten up, showered, gotten dressed and had my hand on the doorknob when I heard this “thump - shooka, shooka, shooka” has he jumped out of bed and shuffle-ran to the bannister. He looks down at me (I am in the foyer on the first floor) and says “Daddy - you CAN’T go to work - you CAN’T!!” I say “But Jake, I have to go to work” he starts jumping up and down, my heart starts to break, and then he says “Take off your pants!! Take off your pants NOW, Daddy!!” I about died laughing.
Story #2: We are trying to teach Jake (now age 4) that there are Good words, Bad words and Private, or Bathroom words - they aren’t bad, but shouldn’t be used in public, right? So he and I are in a restaurant Men’s room - he’s in the stall, I’m at the urinal so I can’t see him. He says “Daddy - are we in a bathroom?” “uhhh, yes Jake” “Can I use bathroom words” “yes, Jake, you can use bathroom words” (sound of a 4-year-old taking a deep breath) “penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis!”
Kids say the darnedest things.
My son gets outbreaks of Psoriasis on his scalp. I was trying a new ointment that has an unusual odor. He said “It smells like KMart”.
aww geez! (wiping tears of laughter from my eyes)
again, I say
Last Tuesday my wife and I went to vote in the primaries, mostly because we were supporting a friend of mine’s re-election for Justice of the Peace. We took along The Kid (who at this point is just six days shy of his 5th birthday) to teach him all about voting and the process and blah, blah, blah…
The Kid, by the way, is a money fanatic and has a hoard of one dollar bills. Therefore, he naturally asks me if I’m going to vote for George Washington. “Sure,” I reply, “I’m going to vote for George Washington.” We vote–he watches–we go home. Cut to later that evening.
I go down to the local bar to await the JP returns with the JP and pals. Sure enough, he wins, and I return home to give the good news (hey! It’s a small town! JP elections ARE big news!): “Honey!” I yell as I enter the room, “Jerry won!” Whereupon The Kid starts crying uncontrolably. I go to console and investigate: “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I ask as a desparate parent, wondering if he’d just been bitten by something, such was the sudden onset of his sobbing. He replies: “I wanted George Washington to win.”
Thank you, WordMan. That post had my coworkers prairie-dogging up out of their cubes, wondering why I was choking on a cup of water. It almost makes me want to have kids.
There’s been some really cute, interesting things said by the little kids I know and love at my church! (no, I am not going to witness… even this newbie knows it belongs in Great Debates :D)
One of our friends was talking to the kids about a missions trip she had been on in China, and at the end of her little talk, she told the kids that if they had any questions, they could always ask her. Sooooo… one of the kids raised his hand and asked, “I have a question… what’s your phone number?” We all looked at the kid’s father, who immediately defended himself: “I didn’t teach him to say that!” 
Someone else was giving the kids a talk about creation, and asked what God had created, expecting the kids to say things like “trees”, “animals”, “people”, etc. However, one of the kids promptly raised his hand and answered: “Pokemon and Digimon!”
Recently, I was talking to one of my favorite kids, and when I asked him what my sister’s name was (he knows what it is, he told me that it was “Nothing”! Good one, especially with my sister standing right there! 
This same kid just told me a couple of weeks ago (apparently apropos of nothing) that the chalk for the chalkboard was zero years old (gee, how do you know?) and that he could see a man inside the chalk! (hmmm… must be one of those things that only kids can see… like fairies and elves)
About a year ago, some other kid asked me (apparently in all seriousness) when I was going to have my baby!:eek: Either I have too much of a gut (TMI, perhaps) or else all the kids think we’re really old! :eek: :rolleyes:
This is the actual content of a note written by a five-year-old I know to a six-year-old when she didn’t see her friend for a week (and wanted to cheer her up): “Hilary, I know that you are in Stephanie’s group. Bye. Melissa.”
I probably have lots more stories, but I can’t think of them right now! I’ll post them when I can think of what they are!
When I was younger, my mom was babysitting a child who was 4 at the time. I had just gotten a small pet turtle and the child was seeing it for the first time. Being at the height of their popularity at the time, the child watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles frequently. After looking at the small turtle quizzically for a few moments, he blurted out, “Where’s its weapons?”
I have no kids of my own and am not about to. But I see no reason to be left out of the fun. Therefore, I submit for your approval these three tales. My mother has assured me that they are all true.
Tale #1:
I must’ve been about two because this happened before one of my lil brothers could talk and before the other was born. We were at a restaurant and my mom ordered me a chicken leg. She didn’t think I could eat more than one so she only ordered one. Well, I polished off my chicken leg and said “Mommy, I want another chicken leg,” or something to that effect. She, of course, didn’t have anymore. So she handed me a frog leg instead thinking that I wouldn’t notice or care about the difference. But I did. “Mommy this chicken leg tasteses funny.”
Tale #2:
I was about the same age and my brother was somwhere around one. Just starting to walk. Well, my mom loves to fish. So on this day she brought us with her figuring she could fish and watch two kids at the same time. (Yeah right! Even I know that ain’t gonna happen.) About the time she noticed her cork bobbing and was about to pull in a big one, she felt me tugging at her skirt. “Look mommy, Jeremy’s swimming!” My little brother had fallen in and was going under for about the third time before she could grab him.
Tale #3:
This one’s not about me. I can’t decide whether that’s good or bad. It’s about my niece. We were staying at my older brother’s house in Mississippi. My dad couldn’t come so it was just me, my mom, and my brothers. My two younger brothers and I slept on the floor in the living room and my mom slept in the bedroom with my niece. In the middle of the night, my niece woke my mom and said, “Granny, what’s that loud noise?” My mom told her it was probably just a big truck and to go back to sleep. A few minutes later she woke her up again. “Granny, that’s not a truck. That’s YOU!” My mother was snoring, as usual, loud enough to wake the living and the dead. The only people she can’t snore loud enough to wake are me and my dad. I’ve been known to sleep through earthquakes.
Okay. So the last part had nothing to do with the story. I just can’t resist talking about myself.
Not my kids, but the kids in my 4-year-olds Preschool class:
We were painting big flowers (cut out of paper) to hang from the ceiling, using water colors. The kids love water colors, the way the colors swirl and mix. One little boy enthusiastically commented, “This is fun! We should do this as a project sometime!”
**Anyone else think it’s really funny that WordMan’s kid said this? 
Anyway, I heard a couple of the boys in the bathroom one day (they were supposed to be washing their hands), and heard the inevitable “Butthead” and “PoopyBrain”, and said, “Boys, we don’t use those words” and one little boy looked right at me and said, “But they’re Bathroom Words and we’re in the bathroom!”