The Redskins SuckWagon: Get on board, 'Skins fans!

Now that the name issue has been resolved (although, like Aragorn in LotR, we have [many names), I thought it was time to get our primary name - the Suckwagon[sup]TM[/sup] into the thread title - and make this the ongoing thread for celebrating Redskins suckiness for the rest of the season. :slight_smile:

So, the first question: how badly will the 'Skins suck tomorrow against KC? [url=“http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89771”]Gazoo](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1649042#post1649042)'s prediction is Chiefs 13, 'Skins 9 - but I’m personally having a hard time imagining it to be so close.

KC is also 0-2, but their two losses have been against teams that went deep into the playoffs last year, losing 27-24 to the Raiders and 13-3 to the Giants. That says to me that they may not exactly be a playoff team themselves, but they still probably have a hell of a lot more life than our guys.

IOW, it could suck pretty bad - and once things start sliding, we can count on some serious booing from the faithful at FedEx Field. (Wonder how FedEx feels about that now, huh? :D) From there, it should go downhill fast.

I’m gonna say 27-6, Chiefs; I think we might be able to get two FGs this week!

Hail to the Deadskins…

Well, I’d meant to preview…but the early-a.m. cobwebs clearly hadn’t dissipated yet. That link is here.

I am simultaneously a fan of the Steelers, the Pirates, and Penn State. So don’t tell meabout Suckwagons–I’m riding three of 'em.

The line is Chiefs by 2½…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No way is it even gonna be that close. I’m rooting for another shutout, baybee! If you’re gonna be an ass, why be half-assed?

Refraining from making a comment about Geobabe’s lovely ass with difficulty*

[sub]Ravens ROCK![/sub]

Dave, do I have to say it again?

Hey Dave, your point is???

I mean, we’re here in this thread to revel in the complete and total suckosity of the Deadskins.

Of course somebody else’s team is going to rock. Hell, everybody rocks, compared to our team. That’s what the thread’s about.

So we’re glad the Ravens rock. So do the Packers, and the Broncos, and a whole bunch of other teams. I’m glad for you that your team rocks.

Now, back to the SuckWagon, which is getting ready to roll, even as we speak:

*Yes, our team is really bad
but we don’t give a fuck:
R-E-D, S-K-I, N-S-U-C-K!

If you’re hoping they will win
you’re really out of luck:
R-E-D, S-K-I, N-S-U-C-K!

Redskins suck, Redskins suck,
the Redskins suck, they suck, they really blow-ho-ho-ho!

*

I want the record to show that at 1:49pm EDT, the Washington Redskins actually posted a lead, for the frist time this season.

They promptly lost that lead two minutes later.

Ah, so much for my shutout. :frowning: They’ll still lose, though, I have faith. In the words of Michael Wilbon, “it’s possible now that every team in the NFL is better than the Redskins.” My man Wilbon.

The Redskins actually scored a touchdown! (As the Onion might say, “Holy fucking shit!”) Are they allowed to do that??

Of course, it took a very borderline pass interference call. And equally of course, the Chiefs came right back to take their lead back to 11.

Geobabe, you’re right about Wilbon - he’s the man. Despite my longtime loyalty to Boswell - who I used to know, an eon ago - Wilbon’s the best sportswriter at the Washington Post, and he’s got to be one of the best in the country.

I forecasted 27-6; it’s 28-10 at the half.

And with 6 seconds left in the half, the 'Skins almost failed to recover the kickoff. Sheesh.

R-E-D, S-K-I, N-S-U-C-K!

It’s final. Kansas City Chiefs over the Washington Redskins by a score of 45-13.

So the scores so far:

Lost 30-3 to San Diego
Lost 37-0 to Green Bay
Lost 45-13 to Kansas City

This means that so far this year they have been outscored 112-16.

Yow.

Ok, ok, I’ll be good. Please resume your suck fest without me.

Hey, I think the record for the first (and only) team to go without a win all season is still up for grabs, right?

Think of it, if they get it this year, then they can start sending champagne cases to the team that loses to the last remaining winless team…

The Tampa Bay Buccanneers went 0-16 in their initial season, IIRC. But I think it would be a first for a non-expansion team.

Yup. Everybody rocks, compared to the Redskins. :rolleyes:

The funny thing about Schottenheimer is that he’s made his reputation with defense and special teams. So the 'Skins are giving up 37 points per game, and their special teams suck.

Yeah, I know, all aspects of the team suck. But even still. Because special teams naturally get a bit less attention than the offense and defense, and because there are relatively few of what one might call ‘special-teams starters’, it’s an area of a team’s performance that can be upgraded pretty quickly by a head coach with an inclination to do so. And yet they look like they do.

Hey, if it’s a record, it’s good enough for me!

0 and 16!
0 and 16!

I think the Bucs actually went 0-14. There have been a few 1-15 teams since, but no one’s actually gone 0-16 yet. There’s still hope!

According to Vermeil, the 'Skins don’t have enough good players, and:

Well, like who, exactly? Like Darrell Green? Like Bruce Smith? Stephen Davis? Who are these bad actors, Dick?

As Michael Wilbon pointed out this morning, Schottenheimer picked 30 of the players now on the Redskins’ roster. And the holdovers, in addition to the names I’ve just listed, include players such as Jon Jansen, Champ Bailey, LaVar Arrington, and Chris Samuels - players that any team would love to get its hands on.

So, Dick, are you telling me that this team doesn’t have enough talent and desire to at least be respectable? Gimme a #$&*@! break.

Shouldn’t you be throwing yourself UNDER the wheels of the wagon?

Don’t seem fair. It seems they’re always playing the best team in the league each week…