Kallessa, I wasn’t ignoring you, but since I’m not in NY and much as I like you, I’ll be passing on the shameless sex, altho a hug is OK… um, I forget where I was going with this.
Anyway, I hope you have fun in NY, and should you get to Balto some time after June, I’d gladly meet you and hug you and even have my picture taken with you. Just so’s you know.
Speaking of mad, passionate, shameless sex, you are still planning on coming to PortaDope this Saturday aren’t you Kallessa?
Made ya stop and think for a minute there, didn’t I? 
I have nothing to add about child-rearing (I’m sure there’s a joke inherent in that expression) since I very cleverly married Mrs. B. after her children were already reared. And I was never allowed to repremand the first wife’s children. (hereinafter referred to as the sister of Satan and the two little pot-heads).
Would you like to see pictures of the grandchildren?
He’s more of a tequila shooter, but I try to discourage that since he’s only two, almost three. I figure if I limit it to malt liquor I’ve done my job raising a respectable human being. He has to choose between that and getting to smoke. I may be strict, but I say he can’t have both until he goes to elementary school.
Hokkaido Brit - you have my sympathies. Seriously, dude. It’s hard enough to deal with a medicine crazed child in a small space but the whole “Madam, please” thing would have sent me over the top. See my paragraph above for suggestions.
Oh - and since we’re 95% toilet trained most of our repetitive phrases now are in the poop/pee area. Nothing’s better than repetition, unless it involves the word ‘poop’ in public.
With my younger brother it took until the day he flung his jacket next to the rat’s cage and the rat, deciding the sleeve would make fine nesting material, proceeded to shred it all the way up to the shoulder.
I’ve got no kids, just cats.
But I think I’ve said “Off the table!” about 1,658 times so far, if that counts.
Well done. I might have to try that. heh heh
She hasn’t posted yet? Ooh, she’s in trouble.
It’s only Wednesday. This thread can’t die!
I’m sorry. I posted in it - that’s a thread killer. I won’t post in the MMPs anymore; I’ll just lurk around the edges, wishing I could come in and play, but knowing if I do, the party will end. <mock pout>
Why am I shocked to hear that the sweet and demure Gundy would play any part in reaching such a determination?!
As long as tou are going the tongue twister route, my kids always liked Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop, not to mention the tried and true I’m not a fig plucker…
I can’t remember the specific mantras I had to endlessly repeat to my kids, but I do remember the awareness coming over me that – yes – I did apparently have to repeat the same damn thing over, and over, and over until I went insane.
Guess what folks! Sometime after a couple of million repetitions it generally works. Either that or the brats wear you down such that you realize the behavior isn’t all that bad as it isn’t too terribly likely to expose you to excessive liability or result in the kid’s death – or at least will provide a quick non-messy death instead of a lingering expensive effort-intensive illness.
Eventually you can toss the kids the car keys, a couple of beers, some rubbers and smokes, and they’ll be out of your hair until well after you are asleep.
Heh, I do this to LilMiss whenever we’re driving with my parents. The “iiiiiiiii’m noooootttt touccchhhhhinnnnggggg youuuuuuu” is done sotto voce, so my quasi deaf parents can’t hear it. All they hear is LilMiss say “GRAMMA! Mom’s BUGGING ME!”. Gramma’s reply is usually “Well, tell her to stop”. My repsonse to that? The best evil grin known to mankind.
I love pissing her off. Somebody’s gotta do it, may as well be me.
I usually do the limericks.
A tooter who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tooter
“Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
A fly and a flea in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
“Let us fly,” said the flea!
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
A canner, exceedingly canny
One morning remarked to his Granny,
“A canner can can
Anything that he can.
But a canner can’t can a can, can he?”
Mwahahahahaha.
That’s my current plan for getting children - not having - getting. My sister has said several times that she and her husband want a large family (he’s one of 6). I’ve put my vote in that she can have the 6 - I’ll just take my expected 3 (standard in our family) when they’ve grown a bit.
I love kids - other people’s kids.
Susan
Susan, I like your style. I have two plans for getting kids. First, I have co-opted my sister’s kids by being the “cool” aunt. With the boys, this was easy–a movie where they got candy and a soda, followed by the arcade. With my neice, it’s getting harder (especially because I won’t buy her anything alive or allowed her to get anything pierced/tatooed/removed without a sign statement from Mom and Dad that I personally saw them write). So far, she still willing to be seen in the Mall with me, but I’m not pinning any hopes on that continuing for much longer. In a year or two, I’ll be willing to take her to some “R” rated movies, but until then, I’m thinking I’ll just buy her the shoes her mother doesn’t like.
Second option–I want to marry a man.
Oh, yeah, I forgot the subject. This man I marry can have kids in their late teens, early twenties (so I can avoid the whole stepmother" anguish), and those kids can have kids so hubby and I can be doting grandparents. I’m way young to be a grandparent of course (just like Bumbazine), but as the second wife, it works out okay.
I love other people’s children, especially when they cry.
"Cuz then I can give them back to their parents.
My girlfriend thought I was nuts, but I think this is the Best Idea Ever.
Everyone knows that kids are great once they get old enough to be fun (and outta the teen angst). So I propose a solution: Adopt A College Student. You take em into your home, feed em and care for em, shoot hoops and have “moments”, but without 18+ years of bad blood, fighting, and trauma between you. After your student graduates, you get to be proud of them and all they accomplish.
So in other words, you get to enjoy and appreciate their grownup years without the poop, vomit, sickness, and messes of their kid years. You have a “kid”, but your house stays nice and you don’t go insane, like most parents. Win-win.
Maybe it’s just cause I’m a college student, though, that this sounds like a great idea.
Umm… with the exception of the poop, all these are present in college kids. Come to think of it, poop did get involved in a couple of frat houses I remember from college days.
Hi there! Yup, I’m all knocked-up-like. I’m about 10 weeks along, which means that I don’t look all lovely ang glowing and stuff. I just look like I’ve been strapping on the feedbag a little too often. And the morning…er, afternoon sickness is lingering about, although I know folks who have had it many times worse.
On the other hand, it IS a quarter of the way through, and that freaks me out a bit.
Glad to hear that Zacaroni sleeps through the night now. I recall that making a major difference.
My husband kept trying to persuade me that we should adopt a Swedish girl or two or three. Isn’t he kind hearted?? 
Nope, didn’t work.