Never boring, my dear, never boring.
BTW, I just wanted to let you know I think your husband is a prince to spare your sister’s feelings after the show. Not sure if I would have had the self control to excuse myself to tend to something important; I’d have given ol’ Ron a full dose of the what-fors more than likely.:eek:
Great thread, I just submitted it for Threadspotting. Dunno if it’s been done before; if not, it should’ve.
Keep 'em coming!
More Ron! More Ron!
All this time following this thread is reminding me of a Ron I used to know a long time ago. He was a fellow student when I was attending community college.
He was a Russian immigrant, with a thick accent. We called him AK, because of the stories about all the AK-47s he had back in Russia when he was a kid. I’ll call him A-Ron. Said he couldn’t bring his AKs with him to America because he wasn’t 18 when they emigrated. Asked his dad to claim it so he could bring it, but his dad told him, “No, it’s your AK, you deal with it.”
A-Ron claimed he knew that special jiu-jitsu stuff the Speznaz guys all trained with, and demonstrated on several occasions with Crispin-Glover style kicks.
A-Ron was an inveterate womanizer, or at least claimed to be. He told me once, “I fucked 27 bitches.” I didn’t ask him about ir or anything, he just kind of said it out of the blue.
He gave an unsolicited monologue once about how he tag-teamed a mother-daughter combo in their shop in Pismo. His story was as detailed as a Penthouse Forum letter, much to the disgust of everybody within earshot (and skepticism. Everything he said was greeted with lots of skepticism). If I remember correctly, the story included the phrase, “Then this other bitch starts rubbink my balls while I’m goink down on her daughter! I was like, hey, if that makes you happy.” More than one conversation with this fella was interrupted so he could run after an average-looking woman, saying “Hey baby, what’s your name?”
All this was a source of much amusement to me and my friends. The combination of his dead earnest in everything he bragged about, the heavy accent and the wispy little mustache didn’t help curtail our mirth.
He moved to Nebraska to work for his uncle in construction. I can only imagine someone is laughing at him right now.
Holy crap, that dude sounds like the Evil Twilight Zone version of Balki from Perfect Strangers.
“Oh, cousin Laaaaarry. The bitch is rubbink my balls! Come take picture.”
It’s already made threadspotting, but hey, great minds think alike.
I would have been telling him that all the girlies loved “Wild and Crazy guys” and that he should tell them that that was exactly what he was.
You need to listen to act one of this This American Life episode. It’s a hoot.
Ha!
You should have looked at him and informed him that bestiality is against the law in the US, no matter what they allow in Russia.
I wasn’t sure; I thought I’d seen it before, but hey…thought I’d try anyhow. It deserves it.
Thank you, that’s very kind 
Working on a Ronulian story for later today - about Wally. Hopefully work will ease up enough to post it.
Oooooo, a story from the Ronulan Star Empire!
squee!
Pismo beach? I think I know those ladies and I can tell when the one is rubbing you balls, wowza!
AK? That you?
While waiting here with baited breath (or maybe it is flame broiled whopper breath) for the next tale, the teaser: “Ronulian” sparked my international curiousity. What are Rons in different languages called?
Polynesian…Ron-Tiki
Russian…Ronronov
Chinese…Ron-chi
Italian…Ronini
Polish…Ronski
Jamaican…Ron-mon
Spanish…Ronchero
Greek…Ronopolus
Arabic…Ron-jahl
Hindi…Ronkapoor
I know, but I simply am trying to amuse myself untill Mel spins her yarn for us.
Japanese… Ronin
Pins and needles.
Mexican… Ron-chez
Irish…O’Ronnie Boy
Ashkenazim…Ro-oy!
French…Rondezvous
Head of FEMA…Heckuva-job Ronnie