The Rothschilds conspire to rule!

At least that seems to be the gist of it.

At work tonight, one of our regular customers came up to the counter and started telling me all about how the Rothschild family controlled Europe three hundred years ago, and now they’re really annoyed that the US became a world power. (Unless they were annoyed then, in 1708; he was a little unclear.) The G7/G8 leaders meet every year in secret sessions to receive their orders from some other family that works for the Rothschilds. Meanwhile, Bush has passed many executive orders in the past two years that give him the power, “if anybody in the country so much as mentions the words ‘national emergency,’” to declare martial law, suspend the upcoming election, and hang around for the next twenty or thirty years, while China dumps their stock of US currency and causes the US to collapse into “a second-world country.” Since the Army has been gutted over quite a few years, some organization called “Black <something>” will enforce the new order. Right now they’re in Mexico and Canada (“There are more of them than you think!”) waiting for Bush’s call. After all, “Americans won’t shoot Americans, but Hispanics will!”

There was more in between, but I think I touched on the high spots.

My manager was fascinated, and wanted me to point out the guy, but he had gone, undoubtedly kidnapped by the Illuminati or space aliens. Here’s hoping he’s back before the coup.

Does anybody else have stories of conspiracy theories and their believers?

Yes but it involves my future mother in law and I would have to Palinize this thread.

Giraffes, eh? What are ya gonna do with 'em?

He probably means Blackwater, but with guys like this, you never know. It could be Black OPS, Black Sunday, Black Betty, Black Hole Sun, Black Jack, Fear of a Black Planet or Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

Black Sabbath, maybe?

Could be, but Ozzy’s not very intimidating these days.

I still wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley.

perhaps if his wife was with him. shahhhhhhhh-ronnnnnnn!!!

Yes, Marley, I think it was Blackwater. (It’s hard to keep all these facts straight!)

But Black Sabbath still sounds faintly familiar. Must be those government mind-control experiments from long ago.

I’m moderately ashamed to admit that my own boyfriend has recently gone completely bonkers and turned into a conspiracy theory nut. He believes in the following things:

  • The existance of “chemtrails”. There are planes everywhere that fly around emitting clouds of barium. The purpose of this is to either control the weather, make the population sick, or “control” the population (he’s a little unclear on this). It’s all done by the goverment, of course, and organized through some place in Alaska that you can take tours of.

  • The Illuminati/an impending New World Order. Bush, Cheney, Obama, Clinton, McCain, et al., are all part of a secret club/society that is somehow associated with Yale. The purpose of this club is to implement a single world government. The beginnings of this are evidenced by the existence of RDIF chips, which we will soon all be implanted with.

  • (an extension of the above?) Bush has already signed some sort of something that begins the process of uniting Canada, the US and Mexico as one country.

  • Federal income taxes are illegal, according to the Unites States Constitution.

  • None of this really matters because we’re all going to die in 2012.
    He gets all of this information from a friend/coworker who is also obsessed with electricity, electromagnetic waves, Tesla, harnessing the power of crystals, and the Hutchison Effect (which happens to be the process by which UFOs fly). He was once kind enough to inform me that electrons do not exist.

That would be (unless there’s another Yale-based brotherhood so secret that I’ve never heard of it) the Skull and Bones Society, which also claims John Kerry as a member.

Specifically, on December 21 of that year. Or maybe that day will simply herald the dawn of a new era of consciousness…

I just asked the boyfriend to elaborate on the purpose of chemtrails, and he provided me with this link: Excepts –

He went on to say the following (direct quotes, capitalization added and typos fixed by me): “Have you noticed that teh honeybees are gone? When they’re gone, we don’t have much time left. Bees are very important in the habitat, it’s a balance. Einstein said, when there are no more bees, man will cease to exist, or some bullshit like that. The electromagnetic pulses and shifts in the magnetic fields are affecting animals. They don’t know where they are going, frequencies that they live on are changed and they either die, or don’t know where to go for the winter.”

He then pasted me the following information from somewhere:


So basically, I guess, the New World Order is stealing all the honeybees by controlling them with electromagnetic waves because in 2012, they plan on killing us all off by using planes to shoot out clouds of RDIF chip implanted honeybees that are covered in barium and the flu.

Just so you all know.

'scuse me while I go find my tinfoil hat.

How do people believe this stuff???

A friend of mine in college had a stepdad who believed the FBI bugged his walls and were listening to his conversations. Why the FBI would care what some burnt-out redneck living in a trailer in MS had to say is beyond me. Anyway, he also wouldn’t let her or her mom fix him a drink because they might poison him.

That’s precisely the one. Thank you for enlightening me.

At least they’re not coming up with all of this out of their own heads, I guess.

Well, the Rothschilds may be the shadowy puppet masters who secretly rule our world, but at least they’re not elitists.

I can’t wait to catch you two on “I’m dating a loony”:stuck_out_tongue:


SOrry for the bump of a mostly dead thread, but I wanted to warn everyone that I sent the BF a link to my post about him, and he’s now threatening to register and inform everyone of the “facts.” My attempts to explain that this is really not the place for that, and that he’d just get made fun of, didn’t seem to matter.

I’m sorry.

In other news, apparently the above mentioned friend/coworker literally keeps tinfoil inside of his hat. Amazing.