The Scent of Sex

In My Humble Opinion
1

Catchy title, isn’t it? But, it’s not as catchy as some scents. I can just feel the puns gathering in the darkness, readying for the attack.

We humans have relatively pathetic senses of smell. We depend so much on vision and, to a lesser extent, hearing, that smell is often almost forgotten. And, yet, it has tremendous power. One whiff of bread baking can call up vivid memories of childhood (if we were lucky enough to have a mother who baked) or visits to local or exotic bakeries, long after we’ve conciously forgotten them.

Some scents are comforting; research suggest the most universally comforting scent, at least to westerners, is cinnamon. Some are invigorating, like the scent of fresh, clean air, after a rain shower. Others can soothe, annoy, calm, or arouse.

Scent goes right to one of the primal areas of the brain. Little has changed in this part of the brain since the days when our ancestors first stood upright. And, that’s what makes scent such a powerful stimulus. Studies have even shown that, although we aren’t conscious of it, we recognize the scent of our own family members so accurately that we will categorize it as unattractive, in the romantic sense. Perhaps this explains why incest is so rare, and why the incestuous among us, who seem to be wired backwards, seem unable to resist.

For me, the scent of the right woman is heavenly. The soft, warm scent the rises from the tender part of a woman’s throat is incomparable. I wish I had the vocabulary to describe it; sweet, with a touch of musk, a tiny hint of edginess, and some unidentifiable, almost spicy quality. What a fabulous fringe benefit to hugging! And, the most amazing thing, to me, is that they all smell different.

And, then there are the truly sexual scents; pheromones! Not to mention the sharp scent of sweat, and the mingled aromas of all those icky, yummy, wonderful bodily fluids.

Help me out, here, folks. How would you describe the scents of sex?

2

Hmm… I know what it smells like to me, but I can’t describe it. The guy I live with well… lets just say he can get me horny just by coming home from work… a bit of cologne, warm, smelling slightly like oil (he works for Mr Lube)… a bit musky when he’s horny (Yes I can tell this just by walking in the door when I get home)

For girls it is slightly different… warm as well… a bit moist… bit of perfume…

It’s really hard to actually describe what I smell. Maybe if I was smelling it right now I could.

3

I think scent is a hard sense to describe Obsidian Flutterby…

I just react to the smells without really thinking about it. I love to bury my face in his chest and just smell him. That mix of cologne and cotton and well … him… all bundled up… He thinks that’s odd but appreciates that I pay him so much attention.

4

The scent of my husband is so hard to define. It’s a combination of shave gel, deoderant, cotton, and just…him. I can tell, like Obsidian Flutterby mentioned, when he is aroused just by scent. He smells like…my mate.

Scent plays in to so many things. Babies can identify their mother’s by scent, and vice versa. I can feel my mood and demeanor adjust when in the presence of a ceratin scent. Food smells, laundry smells = domesticity. Child smells = mom. Husband smell = ROWR! :wink:

FaerieBeth

5

<glances around>
Um, can a guy stick his nose in here?

A few years ago I got a weird look from a girl I was dating, because when she asked me what first attracted me to her, I answered (honestly) the smell of her hair. I can admire a nice body from across the room, a fun personality from across the table, but my hindbrain doesn’t really go into “YUM!” mode until my nose gives its approval. No scented shampoo, no perfume, just give me that clean, uncut scent of Woman, it’ll get me every time. And not just her hair, but other scent-sites aren’t as polite to check in public. <double check–yep, remembered the ‘l’>

And more recently after an incredible night (I admit it was the end of a long dry spell), I couldn’t bring myself to wash my pillowcases until the smell of the lady’s hair had completely dispersed.

6

My first boyfriend. I never could figure out if it was his hair, deodorant, or fabric softner. Every once in awhile I’ll catch a whiff of it when I’m out somewhere, and it sends me right back to when I was 17.

7

On an only sort of related note, an exgirlfriend and I once had sex in a room wherein a friend and his SO were on the bed. The lights were off, they had no idea what had happened until afterward.

My friend was really peeved. He complained that his room “smelled like sex” for the longest time.

Phermones?
Lingering fluids?

I have no idea.

8

sciguy, of course men are welcome, here. And, I’m glad you popped in, because you said exactly what I was getting at, extremely well. And, I’ve been in the “don’t wash” it place, too.

Everyone - At least it isn’t just me who can’t describe it. I suppose this is partly due to our ignorance (literally; as in, ignoring of) of our sense of smell. Sure, there’s the perfume/cologne industry, and almost every commercial product has a scent. But, we don’t talk about smells, really. Basically, it’s “Mmmm. That’s nice.” or “Eww! What’s that?”

It’s a shame, really. As you folks apparently agree, it’s a very potent sense, and yet we can’t even agree on how to describe the most fundamental aspects of it. I know there are people whose job it is to work with scents (and that must be an odd job), and they have a working vocabulary. But, it certainly isn’t mainstream.

A long time ago, there was a bestseller called Perfume (I don’t remember the author). I wouldn’t ordinarily give a book with that title a second glance, assuming it would be romance, but the future former Mrs Bear of the time recommended it so highly I tried it, and was glad I did. Excellent book! It was about a baby born without any scent of its own, and how that affected his entire life, beginning with his mother’s inability to generate the slightest interest in him. Even dogs couldn’t smell him, and the rest of the world treated him like he didn’t exist, because he didn’t register in their hindbrains. He ended up becoming the world’s greatest parfumier, in part so that he could create a scent that people would respond to, when he wore it. (It’s also a mystery, but I won’t go into that, in case some of you haven’t read it. And, I recommend it, as well.)

9

Oh My God Dave… that is my all time favourite book. It describes what we’re talking about here in way a lay-person would understand - I honestly felt I could smell all the smells in the book. It is incredible and anyone who never read it - GET IT NOW!!!

The scent of sex? I am a little at a loss here because, as some will know, I’ve not yet met with my bf and though we have indulged our sense of hearing extremely well - we cannot use our sense of smell or touch or taste (which is a pretty sad situation if you think about it lol)…

But something deep inside me knows he will taste and feel and smell just like I imagine he will. Why am I so convicned? I have no clue! but I am.

Oh he did send me two stuffed bears for Valentines and sprayed them with his cologne and slept with them the night before he sent them - and OMG they still smell incredibly sexy (can bears smell sexy? lol Dave I know what you’re thinking now :p)

As to other guys? Well not that I even want to think of them (just got off the phone with bf so am a bit loved up with a date in 2 hours for … emmmmmm enough info lol)… they all smelled good (I think to go for guys who are very hygenic - thank god - and use cologne too)… but well that snuggle smell or the smell of him down below? I am dying to know but somehow I also know it’ll be heaven.

I’m babbling now.

10

[Ralph]

Girls smell like fish.

[/Ralph]

11

I seem to recall the unmistakable aroma of bleach after the act was done.

gag

Happy

12

Sweety and I talked about this ad nauseum when we first started dating.

There’s something delicious about the way he smells. As a matter of fact, when I think of him, the smell is the first thing which comes to mind.

Smell is kinda … primeval, if you will. I read a study one time where newborn (breastfed) infants could tell the difference between Mommy’s breast and that of a stranger’s. By smell. So, it being one of the first senses developed (the second is taste, no?) it hits us in a deep place. IMHO.

Sometimes when one of us is feeling lonesome/blue, we will get a T-shirt the other has worn to take to bed, for the smell of it.

13

Well, this thread sank pretty fast. So, maybe if I steal something I said in another post, that’s kind of applicable, here, it will revive it, a bit.

I’ve been told by several women, in my life, that I smell good. And, they’re talking about ME. Not the soap, not the shaving cream, and certainly not the cologne I haven’t worn in 20 years. Whatever my natural scent may be, it appears to be a good one.

Any thoughts along these lines?

14

Well, I hope you’re right. And, you probably are, since you’ve gotten his scent off the Teddy bears. I just really hope it turns out well for you, because I’ve had a bad experience that relates to this.

A long time ago, I had an online relationship with a woman. It was a great relationship, as such things go. Great compatibility, we could talk about anything, we found each other’s minds very sexy, even our descriptions of our physical appearances turned each other on. She was a very scent oriented woman. She had told me, several times, that some men she just instantly lusted for, upon catching a whiff of their personal scent. And, that she couldn’t be with a man with whom this didn’t happen.

Well, this was a little nerve-wracking, because I’d already become quite emotionally involved, by this time. But, I knew, from previous experience, that I give off veritable clouds of pheromones when I’m feeling really confident and on the prowl, or aroused. So, I tried not to let it bother me.

Eventually, we arranged to meet, face to face. There was a get together for board members, much like Dopefest, that was happening approximately midway between where she lived and Boston, where I live. Now, I’ve heard a couple references to cliques, on this board, but I’ve seen nothing even remotely like the cliques that board had. And, I wasn’t a member of any of them.

So, I arrive at the hotel where the meeting was to take place. I’m pretty much on time; even a few minutes early. She’s not there, but the cliques have taken up residence in the bar where we had agreed to meet. Not comfortable, for me, but I go in and take a seat and order a coke. Time passes, and she still doesn’t show. I’m trying to ignore the cliques; they’re doing a fine job of ignoring me. I’m getting more and more nervous. Maybe she won’t show. Maybe she will show, and I won’t look anything like she was picturing. Maybe she’ll be hideous beyond belief. (This was in the days before everyone had scanners and digial cameras. The Web hadn’t even been invented, yet. This was “real” Internet, in the days of Telnet.)

Anyway, an hour goes by. I’m now a nervous wreck, and I’ve started perspiring. I can hear the cliques muttering amongst themselves, and see the occasional glance darting my way. Thanks, guys. There’s no where else I can go, because we only rented one room (with two beds, just in case). And, it’s in her name. I can’t even check in. A shower would have been wonderful, but not possible. Finally, she shows. She looks pretty much the way I’d imagined. Very much my taste.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t approve of my having sat isolated in the bar all this time. She’s not in a good mood, from having been unable to find the hotel, and having wandered for an hour trying to get to it. I’m definitely not at my best. My shirt has “pits”, my face is flushed, my heart is pounding. I manage to rise and greet her, but I’m stammering a bit. Not a pheromone to be had, for love nor money. I know this is not going to go well. And, dammit, I hate being right, sometimes.

It was one of the most perversely unpleasant evenings I’ve ever spent. And, the night was worse, but I won’t go into that. So, you can see why I really hope it works out better for you, than it did for me. If only I’d thought of the Teddy bear trick.

15

Oh Dave {{{{{{{{{{{ major hugs }}}}}}}}}}}}} …

Why I’m so sure that it’ll all be good … is cause I’ve had a bad experience myself… not smell wise (he smelt good) but … well I won’t go into details here.

Suffice it to say, though I am a very confident person 95% of the time, he made me feel worse than shit on his shoe.

It took some time to get over that - Rhino helped a lot (he was there, in the background, throughout)…

One thing I did learn was what I don’t want in a relationship/from a guy - and another… was that there are real life angels out there, who pick you up and put you back together again - only better this time.

This woman was not right for you - if she was, she’d have realised that you’d be nervous and sweat stains and a red face and all that go hand in hand with being nervous. Being nervous meeting her, I see as a compliment to her. You didn’t automatically think that you were such a catch that you’d have her in bed the second she saw you. (BTW thats a good thing!).

Also, if it’d been me, I’d be panicking that I couldn’t find the hotel cos I wouldn’t want to make you think I’d stood you up (in fact, assuming you might have had one anothers cell phones numbers, I would have called just to reassure you). I wouldn’t be mad that I couldn’t find the hotel or mad that you didn’t sit with the others - I would have been mad at myself for having been late and nervous as hell and probs sweating from that myself!!! I probably would have looked a little like you sitting there and would have enjoyed the irony of that!!!

Having only just met up with a gang of people from the chatroom I go to about a month ago, I understand nervousness about it - and that there are always cliques - was she a member of the cliques herself? If not, then she should have understood that you’d not want to impose yourself on them … if so, then she should have introduced you to them before this or asked one of them to say hi in case she was late.

Dave… sorry for criticising (and going off topic) … I know you cared for her and could possibly still do in a way. But she doesn’t seem to have acted reasonably to me. Of course, meeting on the net can be wonderful and the real life physicalality of another person might not be what you expected. Lets just say that he and I have taken advantage of all technology has to offer these days… we’ve seen everything. We’ve tried to overcome the fact that some senses can’t be used such as smell (we discussed taste but it seemed a little too much given the time it takes to mail something lol)…

I am under no illusions though and make no assumptions - I did that before and trusted too much… but we’ve been together 18 months now and been through lots of hard times in the period… my gut instinct (which I follow a lot but not as often as I should - its never been wrong but I haven’t always listened) tells me its right… very very right. Until I’m proven wrong, then I’ll go with that.

Perhaps this is the thing you mentioned to me? If so, we can expand on it … I’ve some experiences with shitty net meetings too lol…

Oops major hijack…

ehhhhhhhhhhhhh … the shithead did smell good, I’ll say that for him :stuck_out_tongue:

16

Oh, well, thank you for the hugs, RH. I could sure use them, today. But, not because of that woman. I can still picture her face, but I can’t recall her name. There are some good memories, some bad memories, but no real feelings for her, at this point. Just another scar.

It was really just intended as a cautionary tale. It was also pre-cell phones. They may have existed, in the form of those enormous ones, with the briefcase-size battery wired to it, but no one had them, really. Technology has come a long way, in the time since. That relationship was formed over a 300 baud modem.

And, I really don’t think you and the horny one (wait a minute…that describes both of you :D) will fall into the same trap. You just reminded me of it, along with some other things that are going on, at the moment. But, I don’t want to bring any offline stuff here. And, I’m sorry if I brought anyone down.

17

  1. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ more hugs for you Mr Bear }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  2. Stop apologising ffs (for f**k sake - v Irish saying)… nobody expects you to be the class clown ya know!!!

So… something on topic? I haven’t showered today and so don’t smell as good as I normally do - TMI? Probably - time to go shower methinks :stuck_out_tongue:

18

Mmmm, yes…topic…right. Well, what I was saying about me smelling good, au naturel, was assuming I’d showered relatively recently. I certainly don’t smell like daisies, or anything, if I go too long without a shower. :smiley:

And, yes, I think a woman smells her best, just after a shower. Assuming she hasn’t used something that covers up her own, natural, scent. I think the warmth of the shower probably causes her body to give off more than the normal amount of scent. Of course, there is also the absence of competing smells, too.

sniiiffff! Mmmmmmmmm! :slight_smile: Of course, ideally, sniffing leads to nuzzling, which leads to all kinds of fun things, which leads to needing another shower. :stuck_out_tongue:

19

“I’ve been thinking with my gut since I was fourteen years old - and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have s**t for brains” -High Fidelity, but oh so true in my case. I envy your guts, Rhino’sHoney :wink:

Anyway, I’ve never really thought about the “scent of sex” in any way except, “I better air out my room lest my roommates complain…” Like Davebear, I’ve also been told I smell good by several girls (not the cologne or whatever, but me literally). And my last SO said she found the musty smell of us in bed a huge turn on.

Now, I’ve enjoyed the smell of some of my previous SO’s hair (I always though it was their shampoo), and their skin. Especially just after a shower. However, I’ve never found any of the smells directly related to sex (be it from sweat or other sources) a turn on. They don’t turn me off, but unless it’s the heat of the moment, I don’t know that I’d want to smell them on a regular basis.

On a side note, now that I think of it, the worst relationship experience of my life was with a girl whose hair scent I always found oddly disturbing. Maybe I should stop listening to my gut, and start listening to my nose instead! :dubious:

20

The thought struck me as I scanned over this thread that there are different smells/scents that are pure and simple sex [smells like semen and “cum” mixed together [totally unique and thank god there isn’t a perfum… turns rancid after a short while.

Then there is the scent of the one you really love… can’t explain it but it sends me into that “place I want to be”. I used to sleep in a pair of really sexy underwear and then send it off to Mr kiffa when he was living half way around the world.

Then there is the scent of another one you really love [well, some of us aren’t so lucky because their mom was Mommie Dearest personified. BUT I bet you that most of us could find our moms by scent alone in a totally dark room with a gazillion other people.

Finally there is the scent of your kids… baby smells [both good and godawful]… toddler smell… school kid smell when its been 95 degrees and they just come into the house after running like hellions… and teenage smell … my three take five 30 minute showers a day plus bath in eau de whatever…

What smell do I like most? My bed with Mr kiffa’s smell early in the morning … just before we jump out and bang on the kids’ doors to wake 'em up and to take their first 30 minute shower before going off to school.