The SDMB heist!

The lion bite scars?

I can fly a motorless airplane (technically not an airplane but a glider) if you want to make a stealthy approach. For the escape I have “Retired” badge that might get us through any roadblocks.

In that case, fairly distracting.

Hmm - I’ve got that animal experience too. Don’t we need some tigers or dogs or something for this?

iiandyiiii when are you going to tell us what this is?

Also, where’s our card counter? Always need one of those.

August can blow things up.
iiandyiiii handles submarine
MikeF has got Air.
RobotArm sailing
Several drivers so Imma let Bullitt and QS, discuss. Hey, maybe we need at least 2, plus Cornelius for being inconspicuous.
Running Coach has got land travel down.

I’m feeling good about all possible escape routes, with the exception of teleportation.

I’m pretty good at analyzing data and determining trends. I can analyze other, similar heists and determine with a great deal of accuracy just how long you can expect to spend in jail.

I also play a little banjo.

So, Dr. Jackson needs to either agree to be our card counter OR he needs to go on a vacation…

I’m pretty witty and clever when I have a few - but not too many - beers.

I am also an experienced paratrooper. I’ve never done a free fall but if you put 80 lbs of gear on me as well as a parachute connected to a static line and point me towards an exit of a C-130, I can take it from there.

Good at combing through public documents and interpreting maps and plans. As a for instance, I know of one bank that has a 60" storm drain pipe running under it.

I can operate a fork lift and I look like somebody’s grandmother.

I’m pretty good at talking my way into places then looking like I’m supposed to be there. I apparently
just look like I know what I’m doing and where I’m going, even when I honestly have no clue.

I can pick locks as well, if you need a backup.

I can see we have the after party well in hand. :smiley:

Scuba diving, including diving on a rebreather. I can make a super stealthy approach not even leaving a bubble trail.
Police dispatch radio skills. I can track the movement of the fuzz and, if someone can get me a police radio, I can broadcast realistic sounding diversions to confuse the police.

I can be the Evil Guy with the sonorous voice whose face is always in shadow, who kills traitors with ingeniously planned devices built into the chairs.

I can’t be stroking a white cat, though, because I am allergic. We will have to make it a gerbil instead.

Regards,
Shodan

I have an awesome mustache.

I am experienced in primitive technologies such as flint knapping and fire starting. So if you need to fashion some stone tools for offensive/defensive purposes or start a fire using only 2 sticks and some tinder, I’m your gal. Kinda like how Kirk took down the Gorn.

I’m competent at close-quarters fighting; knives are my specialty, but I’m good with longer blades and blunt weapons as well. Being rather strong helps, too. I’m pretty good at social engineering and have experience in identifying gaps in security coverage. I’m also improbably inconspicuous, having been repeatedly overlooked while standing in a sunlit meadow, wearing a shiny golden dragon costume.

My most useful skill in avoiding legal consequences for a heist, however, is my knack for avoiding involvement in a heist.

Well, if we’re casting this like a typical heist movie, I’ll be the team member who has a personal issue he hasn’t told anyone about. For example, if the plan involves crawling through a narrow tunnel, I’ll be the guy who has claustrophobia and flips out at the worst possible moment.

I trained horses for several years, so let me know if any of this heisting is one horseback. I’m also very good with Google maps and paper maps if we go off the grid. I can organize! I’m very good at it, not that I practice it all the time. Great bargain finder if we have a limited budget.

I’m very devious and I can think outside the box.

Once some friends of mine and I were planning some shenanigans that required gaining access to the roof of our hotel and the door was equipped with an alarm. It was my idea to randomly open the door and activate the alarm dozens of times in the 2 days before our party under the theory that the hotel would just start ignoring it. It worked.

But I don’t like responsibility so I don’t want to be the mastermind. Maybe a key member of the mastermind committee or, better yet…special advisor to the mastermind.

And I look innocent and with the right undergarments I can manufacture some distracting cleavage.

I have no idea what we’re doing, but it sounds like fun. Or Vegas. Possibly both!

ITD I use yeast as a model system to study cellular stress.

That’s useful, right?

I’m a good cook…