The SDMB Legion of Honor

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Well, we figured if we could make a bigger monitor we’d be able to see other boards at the time… I mean, if we could just move out those damn edges on the monitor, we’d be able to spy perfectly! After spending countless hours and testing it on monkeys*, many of which dropped from exhaustion, we perfected the 120 inch monitor. After spending hours of manipulating Windows, we realized that the damn system would only let us see a larger than life version of the same old message board. Zut. Foilded again
More science inventions to come, some of which may well be useful.

*No monkeys were harmed in the posting of this post.

62

Well, we figured if we could make a bigger monitor we’d be able to see other boards at the time… I mean, if we could just move out those damn edges on the monitor, we’d be able to spy perfectly! After spending countless hours and testing it on monkeys*, many of which dropped from exhaustion, we perfected the 120 inch monitor. After spending hours of manipulating Windows, we realized that the damn system would only let us see a larger than life version of the same old message board. Zut. Foilded again
More science inventions to come, some of which may well be useful.

*No monkeys were harmed in the posting of this post.

63

Thankyou, Argeable!
…immediately feels slightly smarter…

64

Sorry about the double posting, the quantum computer still has some kinks we need to work out…

65

blesses Argeable’s posts being the Patron Saint of Quintuplet Posts

hands out packets of coffee pez to everyone Here are your cyanide pills. These you take if you get caught by the enemy and there is no hope of escape. This is to keep all our secrets safe. hands out the pez holders filled with cyanide pills And these are your pez. We got a corporate sponser so we can have as many as we like. (Actually I dug up some info on them and am blackmailing them for as much pez as we wish…)

66

Data: Captain, our sensors indicate two factions striving for supremacy on the planet below. One calls itself “The Legion of Honor”, and the other “The Legion of Doom”. There are two other entities claiming to be supremely evil, and a fifth supernatural being denoted as a Witch.

Picard: I see. And the outcome?

Data: Our sociological computers indicate that the Legion of Doom will be triumphant because E-vile is cool and Good is dumb.

Picard: How badly will they be defeated?

Data: E-vile will kick their butts, Sir.

Picard: To what end?

Data: After their victory, the Legion of Doom will fall into bickering with themselves and the other E-vile entities. The effect of the Witch is unknown at this time.

Picard: Well, the Prime Directive prevents us from doing anything except to observe, scratch ourselves and drink tea. Put something on the main viewer. Anything. 1,024 channels and there is nothing on.
Damn!

Riker: They could at least say “Unbeknownst to Talkingsquirrel, but beknownst to us…”

Picard: You hijaked my thread!

Riker: Captain, I never…

Picard: You did! Our Creator, who can be just as E-Vile as these…people, denied acceptance to their thread, makes a BRIEF and humerous satire of the situation, and you draw it
out far too long!

Data: Captain, a Moderator is approaching from astern at warp nine. Our shields and weapons will be useless.

Picard: You see? Do you see what you have done? The Moderator will cut me off in mid sen

67

Some people seem to think that they can put just anything on their expense accounts. This is not the case. When using your LoH expense accounts, it is absolutely forbidden to buy cheap (or even reasonably priced) alcohol. That scotch you got had better be top shelf, Omni. There will be no drinking of Red Label here.

As for the Monte Carlo trip, I’m afraid we can’t afford to cover gambling expenses unless you can assure us that you have a system worked out. And no bribing of minor functionaries unless it’s absolutely critical either. I know some of you may think these standards are too harsh, but as an executive, I have to be responsible for keeping this organization in the black.

68

I would apply for the position of super-hero but I am far too busy being wrapped up in my concern for goodness, and the ending of human misery.

P.s. - Did I mention I have the martial arts super powers for this job?

69

Ooh! Ooh! I wanna join the team! I have a new post in mind, too. I wanna be the thread killer. It seems every thread I post to dies out after the next 3-4 posts (I’m not sure why, I guess my thoughts are so boring it saps people’s will to post). I’d be perfect for going in and sabotaging their threads and…

Wait, I’m posting here…

Oh, damn. Sorry about that.

inkblot

70

sends the new secret weapon (Inkblot) to the Legion of Doom thread You shall end their reign of terror and then we can all go have coffee and pez :slight_smile:

71

Hello, everyone. Glad to see so many reporting in. Sorry that I was unavoidably detained for most of the day. After last night’s meeting of the XO’s, we have come up with an initial plan, pending final approval of our esteemed RL.

First, let me congratulate the Finance Dept for their report. I agree with XO waterj2’s comments, though. You must buy top shelf. And, ixnay on the bribing, unless absolutely necessary of course. :slight_smile: London_Calling, I would like a Bejamina Ficus and a tall Schefflera for my corner office, along with two 30yr old Bonsai, one a Japanese Maple and the other a Cascading Juniper. Thank you.

Science Team, Thanks for the attempt. Keep working at it. Very glad to hear that no monkeys were harmed in the posting of your post! What about humans? :wink: TopazAntares, thanks, but I’ll pass on the pez, trying to cut down on my sugar intake. :wink:

carnivorousplant, ROFL! Love it! <struggling to regain her composure, pbear makes a vain attempt to stop laughing…>

Please forgive me, Omni, I am not trying to ignore you. Just too much on my mind tonight to respond properly. You have some very good points, we’ll talk more later.
On to the beginning of our Master Plan:
Omni and Christi: do some recon at the SDMB LoD, report back soonest with the ‘dope’ on their actions, pending or otherwise.
Shayna and Falcon: provide backup as needed.
Talkingsquirrel: distract, see science team for ideas, if needed.
Wally: help Ts out, provide comic relief, whatever he needs.
Kat: beef up security, in case of a surprise attack while we’re not looking. :eek:
Support Staff: help out as needed, provide backup, comic relief, whatever they desire. Well, almost anything they desire. :stuck_out_tongue:
Angkins: would you consider being our PR person? We actually need 2 PR people, am searching for another one.
Tommdebb(sp?): would you consider being our other PR person? You come highly recommended, by our other XO, waterj2. If anyone sees him, point him in my direction, or waterj2’s. Thanks.
PunditLisa: Sure! We can always use a good sidekick. See Sealemon or Demo, or anyone on the science team for anything you may need.
Still need: a good secretary to help out the XO’s. Looking for a volunteer.

That’s all I have for now, more later as I get confirmation from our esteemed RL, and hear back from the scout teams.

72

FYI…I don’t bribe, I tip!

73

Ok, new plan. We’ve got to capture santa claus. The basic information is contained here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24630

With Santa as our ally, the possibilities are endless!
In other news, the teleportation project is proceeding rather well, especially considering the huge human/fly set back…it was terrible, with the wings flapping and the spiiting and the whatnot! Malivin! (Imagine sound of profesor Frink from the simpsons here)

74

Omni, tipping is of course to be expected. Think how bad we would look if the Legion of Honor were comprised of bad tippers.

On a more important note, it seems that some people think that the parking lot at the headquarters building is operated on a first come first serve basis. To clarify the matter, the executive spaces are now labelled.

Also, everyone stop trying to break into the executive washroom. Your constant attempts to break the lock are scaring the fine cadre of attendants we have assembled. Besides, the bathrooms over at the bus station aren’t that bad, and it’s right across the street.

75

Lexicon. I bring you the Fat Man as requested by Argeble.
Trussed in his own bag of goodies.
I fear that the fruit may be somewhat bruised, but the candy should still be palatable.
Even as we speak, his Merry Elves…er, joyless minions are
manufacturing Lugers, thermonuclear devices and Pez.
I find Micky an improvement with fangs, but there is something to be said for the Hannibal Lecter dispenser as well…

I beg your pardon? This is not the Legion of Doom? I felt that surely it was they who wanted to kidnap Santa Claus…

(muffled “Ho Ho Ho!” from sack)

Then I have done something GOOD? How disgusting. If I were not so evil, I would hate myself.

May I borrow your phone? I must summon a taxicab.