- Spelling and grammar: (see 6 above. Actually, I could include a disclaimer that I was invoking the cultural research by drinking a bottle of Gamay Beajolais before posting to this thread. You decide.)
“Pah-thetic”.
- . . . and like the wind he is gone into the night*
While the Legion of Doom is already embroiled in internecine conflict, our organization appears to be functioning smoothly.
The Legion of Honor operates on all the best modern concepts of teamwork and collaborative management. Accordingly, I am designating the following team members:
Reclusive Leader
SingleDad
Executive Team
purplebear
waterj2
Finance & Administration
London_Calling
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor
Security
Kat*
Bumbling Agents
WallyM7*
Shadenwawa
Osip
Bumbling Agents Support
Arnold Winkelried
TVeblen
TopazAntares**
Suave & Sexy Agents
Omniscient
Ultress*
Jess
Cristi
S&S Support Team
Shayna
Falcon
TopazAntares**
Superhero Team
weirddave
TheNerd
Science Team
Sealemon88
Argeable
Democritus
Ordinary Agents
MoosieGirl
Mascots
Talkinsquirrel*
Casualties, Bystanders, etc.
MysterEcks
xenophon41
casdave
TBD
Angkins
Nen
**Double agents
*More than one category
The Executive Team will assume responsibility for the day-to-day operation of the Legion of Honor. Please direct any questions or comments to them.
Just as a note, the Legion of Honor is financed primarily by my vast personal wealth, inherited from my grandfather who assembled his fortune through war profiteering on urinal cakes. Some operations are financed by various governments; my contacts among the under-secretaries and vice-ministers (who really run things, as Cristi has pointed out) are especially valuable.
Naturally, any accountant interested in setting up his retirement in Argentina would necessarily posses the complex and subtle skills necessary to avoid embarassing questions from auditors.
A double-agent as chief of security is a must. To function effectively, your loyalties must remain absolutely opaque and your professionalism in both organizations of the highest standards.
We have a first-class team of primary agents, some with powers that might place them in the Superhero category would that their loyalty to humanity be somewhat more ambiguous. The Bumbling Agents are quite encouraging; it is quite difficult to defend against someone who can’t predict his or her own behavior! Our Suave Agents are highly valued and critical to our success. And with our crack support teams (no pun intended) I’m sure morale will remain high. The salary is low (you are motivated by a dedication to TJ&tAW) but all agents have an unlimited expense account.
Our ordinary agents are especially valuable. While usually not acheiving the same recognition as the primary agents, there is much to be said for the ability to spontaneously appear at the critical moment and save the day.
Our science team is second to none. Keep those gadgets flowing, and try not to kill too many bystanders.
Our bystanders and casualties will have ample opportunity both to motivate and complicate important operations. We’re counting on you!
Angkins and Nen: We have a vast organization; both of you would make valuable additions. Please examine the enclosed brochure and let us know where you feel your services would be most valuable. If no existing positions seem to suit your talents and inclinations, perhaps you might suggest your own job description. At the Legion of Honor, we value creativity and initiative!
A special note to xenophon41: You have indeed stumbled upon a secret of enormous magnitude. We hope that you might be interested joining us. You would be privy and able to contribute to our noble work.
The Legion of Honor offers on-site day care, excellent medical, dental and vision benefits, a liberal retirement pension. The LoH is an Equal Opportunity Employer and undertakes outreach programs to minority and low-income groups.
tosses away the Girl Guide Cookie bomb Damn thats out of the question then. falls to the ground when it blows up the trash can sending out shrapnel killing her assistant… she stands and brushes herself off coughing a little from the smoke and walks to her assistant looking down at him Oh… sorry about that… shakes her head What a shame and he was so good in bed too. goes back to the drawing board letting the janitor clean up the mess
I wish to extend a warm welcome and my deepest appreciate to the new members of the Legion of Honor. You have undertaken a most serious and difficult task.
Both the Legion of Doom and the Legion of Honor share the same underlying motivation: Each person’s desire to impose his or her will on the universe. The forces of righteousness and corruption oppose each other, and thus express Nature’s imposition of the qualities of symmetry and balance.
Corruption left unopposed will eventually degenerate into decadence and ineffectuality; thus we stand in opposition. But it has been persuasively argued that the pursuit of righteousness constitutes a greater threat to freedom. Thus even the forces of evil fulfill a needed place in the natural balance. Both sides of the coin of will complement the other and hold its worst in check. Please keep this sense of balance and symmetry in your minds as you go about your duties.
So, like, do we get a dental plan?
SingleDad:
Upon review of the brochure and employment roster, I have decided that you are bit deficient in the suave and sexy agent department as it is predominantly staffed by females. Who is to seduce the heterosexual women while using wonderous martial arts skills to incapacitate the enemy? Without going so far as to submit my qualifications in a personal ad motif, I request consideration for this occupation.
Then again, considering Democritus’s flight experience, your science team might be a man short in the near future. Perhaps a physicist would be a valuable addition.
I suppose, given a roll of duct tape, I could create my own preposterous gadgets in the field.
I leave my fate in your capable hands.
This side seems sort of icky, and like, good. It makes my teeth hurt.
What’s in it for me if peradventure it came to pass that I joined up?
Reprinted from the Gothametropolis Daily OpEd pages "Letters to the Editor"
Dear Sirs,
I know how this paper’s editorial staff seems to feel about the hardworking city employees. However, you should know that we are longsuffering servants of this city, and that their [sic] are bigger problems than your paper is willing to acknowledge. I recently found not just ONE but TWO so-called “corporate identities” operating within this fine city that appear to have not only unregistered foreign workers but are abusing the cities [sic] resources without any accounting!
When I reported to elected city officials that these “companies” (which I think must be fronts for Dangerous Foreign Elements!) had large unexplained shipments of probably dangerous material going in and out under secrecy of night, and that I also had proof that employees at one of these “businesses offices” was actually seen testing some sort of ODOR BOMB, do you think any of our Elected Bosses paid attention to me?? No, sirs, they did not.
In fact, I was slapped with an injuction to stay 500 feet away from their places of business by some slippery Lawyer type from one of the “organizations” and I was actually Bribed with Employment by the other! And I swear there are people following me and watching me! I can’t prove it yet, but I see the shadows…
Mark my words, there’s some kind of dirty work involved here!
signed Disgruntled City Employee
[Ed. note: Guys like this are the reason we investigated city hiring practices last year.]
I’m not officially joining either group.
I am the mastermind female Witch who sits in the background, controlling both groups through hidden forces.
evilgrin
And I’m totally neutral, I’m doing this for hidden purposes of my own.
-Elthia
RL SingleDad, sir! <snapping to attention, shoulders back, chest out> XO purplebear reporting as ordered, sir! giggles <she almost falls on her face, and she was trying so hard to impress the Boss>
First order of business, XO waterj2, we must have a meeting. Of the minds as it were. No, really, just the minds. :o WHAT?? That’s all I meant. Honest! Anyway, why don’t you email me, XO and we’ll plan our first strategy for the masses.
Meantime, Science Team and the S&S Agents (all other agents are on standby for now, more to follow) continue on with your inventions and infiltrations as before. Report in tonight if possible to do so.
Finance and Admin, we will have a major plan to put into effect soon, and will need much ready cash. Also, would you please see that the Science team has sufficient funding for it’s ‘research’. If more than 2 people are killed during the testing of any new gadjet, please feel free to deduct a fine on whichever team member disobeyed RL’s injuction.
Nen, you will serve double duty as a science team member and as a S&S Agent; with your primary duties to the Agent side. Welcome.
As soon as the XO’s have had their meeting, and cleared aforementioned plan with our esteemed leader, we will let you all in on it. (Those with a need to know, at any rate).
After that time, I shall expect to see each group have their own meetings to coordinate and impliment said plan.
Until later, my LoH members. purplebear signing off for now.
<catching sight of something at the corner of her vision (thank goodness for extra-wide peripheral vision), she tries to see who it is without being too obvious about it>
<in an aside to the RL, she says she believes a witch may be lurking nearby>
** OOH!! OOH! OOOH!!! ** Can I be the dim-witted sidekick whose job it is to screw up the protaganist while offering a bit of comic relief in case the viewer thinks we’re all taking things a tad too seriously?
In lieu of that, I’d prefer to be the beautiful dead wife who the superhero hero pines over, while also offering an excuse as to why everyone puts up with this loose cannon, aside from the fact that he’s drop dead gorgeous with perfect teeth…
Memo: To the XO’s
I fear that we are placing the LoH in a dangerous position by not strictly defining the upper echelons of the hierarchy. While I have no doubt that a robust staff of scientists can be a strong asset keeping my munitions fully stocked with cutting edge tools, I fear that a devisive dynamic could develop between the multiple S&S agents. I know things can run smoothly with myself and my female counterparts, but I fear the spite of any other male members could hurt team morale.
I fear the lack of ordinary agents, as well as a weak superhero staff could create a situation where more mundane tasks remain unaddressed. This could be a potential weakness the LoD could exploit, indundating us with individually trival concerns like bad tippers, people wearing white after Labor day, and a spandex fad. But these factors combined could crush a city like Gothametropolis.
*Doing my part to help the cause, while minimizing competition for the affection of my truely beautiful Support Staff.
Now Jess, how’s about you and I go out and give these LoH expense cards a trial run. How do you feel about Monte Carlo? I’ve got a connection I could exploit, I think it’s be an excellent opportunity for us S&S agents to compare techinques. 
sigh Anything you’d like me to do as your secretary while you jet off with another woman, Omni? After all, that is my job…
shhhhhh.
collect secrets.
report back to me.
bring more wine.
noticably shaken from his typical cool demeanor
Falcon, I’m sorry, but reconosance has informed me that you’ve been shopping your services in the LoD. As such I fear I may need to remove you from my service. While I have a penchant for disobeying command and abusing expense accounts, I am fiercely loyal, and expect the same from my subordinates. After the years of tireless service you’ve provided I’m hurt that you have ignored my generosity and attention.
Jess, I think we’ll need to break open that Scotch I picked up at the duty free shop.
Also, it appears I’ve encountered an archenemy. Sue Duhnym appears to me my foil. I’m both secretly attrcated to her, but disgusted by her diabolical and unjust ways. I forsee much conflict within as I seek to incarcerate her.
<Wonders out of the lab, pushing a cart >
Here’s a couple of new inventions, people.
For the sexy super agents, I already have the afore-mentioned nuclear earrings. I’ve also developed a stick of hallucenougenic(sp) lipstick. If you find your lips tingling after aplication, just lie down somewhere, and avoid operating heavy machinery. I’ve designed this special compact case. Light reflected into the mirror is magnified and focused into a laser. It will be much more useful as soon as I figure out an effective aiming system…
Something special for Falcon: A pair of ultra-light wings, with a jet pack! Be sure to pack a parachute. Or at least strap a pillow to your ass.
Standing in the rain, two blocks down from the public exit of LoH HQ…
<accosts flunky who wanders past him> <pulls hat down and attempts to speak in cheesy whisper>
Pssst! Hey buddy… Ah, I couldn’t help but see that you’ve come out of that brownstone over there… eh, I’m investiga— I mean, I’m uh looking for work – yeah, looking for work, and I was wondering what kinda business you guys are in. Just so I know whether I’m interested you see.
-What? Snooping? C’mon, pal, I’m just an honest citizen lookin’ for ---- where you going? Hey, come back here, you; I’m trying to fool -er- convince you I’m…
Ah, crap.
<returns to corner, muttering to self>
I’ll find the barrel these bad apples are at the bottom of yet…
Having briefly looked into the financial resourses available, i can confirm that due to SingleDad’s enormous wealth there is enough money in the pot for…everyone from mascot upward to have at their disposal Aston Martin DB7’s (use at the weekend, oil slick making machine, machine guns and ejector seats included). HURRAH !
Double Agents are, of course, entitled to two although admin will need to see a chitty (that’s two ejector seats , not DB7’s).
Potted plants are on order, requests for choice of foilage are being taken. Please bear in mind your girth when selecting said folage.
Thank you for your attention.
mutters under her breath Dammit!! MC, I told you to keep a low profile!
turns around and smiles sexily But Omni, I’ve given you SUCH good service over the years…you KNOW I’d never betray you, honey! leans over, showing her cleavage Are you SURE we can’t work something out? batting eyes