The SDMB Newbie Rites of Initiation (or

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

  1. Ogre, you mistyped that subject just for use in the “funny consecutive threads” thread didn’t you?

  2. Wanted: One young newbile newbie for adoption, and instruction. I’ll accept any suggestions from Regs on who would be appropriate, knowing my proclivities ;). And I’ll accept any pleas from a young newbie with gumption, but I request a short explaination of why you would blossom under my tutelage, where other newbies would wither. Links to threads you’ve shown potential in would be enjoyed.

mmmmwwwuhahahahaha

22

Omni, I’m certainly not going to post any links, I don’t beg very well unless provoked, and you know I’m older than you, but I think we have certain…common interests. Perhaps an arrangement can be made. :smiley:

23

Nym, its a very tempting offer, I must say. And I certainly am interested to discuss those common interests more ;). But I fear you may be a little beyond acceptable newbie status, nearing 500 posts and all, and already having met a doper. Also a consideration is that you’ve already earned a acronym as well.

I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you under my wing, and guide you to your initiation, but I may also take on another newbie which you can inherit as an apprentice once you are made.

We’ll chat later about our arrangements, and your tasks.

Newbies, I’m still accepting applications, please step forward and be judged. :wink:

24

Nope, nope, nope. If you’re not willing to give me your undivided attention, I’ll find someone who will. Maybe a couple of someones. :smiley:

25

Yet another old fart looking for a newbie. I’m not fussy (although female would be nice). Besides I have connections…see signature for details)
Keith

26

In a shameless ploy to get attention from TwistofFate, I’m asking him to be my Regular. Pleeeeeease, Twisty? I’ve always wanted a cool Big Brother-type. :wink:

27

Can I adopt a newbie? That sounds like so much fun. I remember when I first went to the AOL board and Bugzap, Ranger Jeff, and a few others took me under their wings. It was neat.

28

We’re gonna have to define the mentors here. I’m not a newbie any more (I think), but I don’t feel I’m part of that “inner circle elite” either. Who are they? The mods? People named in more than 5 of the Mistletoe thread? Raw post count shouldn’t apply. People who meet in chat regularly? People who go to DopeFests? How do I pad my resume to move up, other than sending UncleBeer a case?

29

Yeah, what is the difference between a newbie and an old-timer? Number of posts? Time since registering? What? I need some definitions before I start canvassing for a mentor.

30

Nym, I don’t think you’re a newbie anymore. You seem…assimililated.

I hope I’m not still a newbie.

lurker
The first rule of the Elite Clique is “Don’t talk about the Elite Clique.” The second rule of the Elite Clique is “Don’t talk about the Elite Clique.” Or so I’ve heard…

31

Do I still qualify for this? I’ve been here a long time, but I feel like I still have a bitty little baby post count. This is just the thing I need to finally make me feel like a real SDMB-er.

pretty please?

32

Well, I don’t share well. So you can have UncleBeer. :frowning: He probably wouldn’t have chosen me anyway, since I did kick him that one time…

33

Not that I exactly consider myself to be and old-timer, but I am now officially the sponsor of Nymysys. So keep your filthy hands off! M’kay? I’ll keep everyone posted on both the rite and her progress.

34

Well, see I didn’t know that. Proof I’m not in the Elite Clique. Maybe since we’re all too experienced to be mentored, you, I and Nym should try to qualify on our own. Want to form a study group?

35

Silver Fire, I think 1883 posts hardly qualifies as a “newbie!” Perhaps you should think of taking a little bird under your wing. Fly, Fire. Fly. :slight_smile:

DynoSaur, I’m intimidated already. You will, of course, be issued a SDMB standard fedora and pinstripe suit upon completion. Wear it with pride.

Omniscient, I wish I could take credit for that. Unfortunately, a good half of my thread title got truncated. Weird. I’ve seen titles that were much longer, but mine got cut off. Perhaps the Consecutive Thread Fairy has a hand in this.

lurkernomore, you’re just a neverending fount of trouble, aren’t you? :slight_smile: OK, check it out: for the purposes of this hyar proposal, we’ll set a completely arbitrary post count limit of 500. This is based on absolutely nothing, and should freely be ignored if the two posters agree it should be so. Just use it as a baseline. We don’t want this to be complicated. Just have fun.

Juniper2000, if you feel like a newbie, then by all that’s holy, you’re a newbie! Enjoy your apprenticeship. I know I’ll enjoy mine!

and finally,

struuter, here is your translation:
“The sun rises and sets in your eyes, struuter, and outside of your presence I am a child lost in eternal night. You are the sun, the wonderful, dazzling crown that gives life and beauty to this world. Your eyes delight me. Your smile blinds me. Your mind staggers me. You are an angel perched on the highest point of the heavens, smiling your beauty and peace on my soul.”

:slight_smile: Cheesy? Should I try again, or will that suffice?

What next?

36

Well . . . I’m in a precarious position.

I have 3000+ posts.

I’ve only been here since June.

Am a regular or a newbie?

37

You’re a newgular.

38

I’d like to point out that it is not a matter of “newbie or reg.” There is a vast middle ground. There are plenty of posters who certainly are not newbies, but are not quite regs either. Therefore, we do not need to determine when a newbie turns into a reg, because that direct conversion happens fairly rarely.

But I think we can easily figure out who is a newbie. The mentors can help the newbies over the threshhold into the ranks of the hoi polloi. Or, if the newbie shows exceptional promise, he or she can jump directly to reg status.

But where is that threshhold?

I would like to propose the following formula to determine who is and who is not a newbie [and please be easy on me–I’m a historian, not a mathemetician]:

PC/M + M(100) = N

If N < 400, then Poster X is a newbie

(PC is Post Count, M is number of full months on the board, and N is the Factor of Newbieness.)

The PC/M figure is the poster’s “board presence.” A poster who has 600 posts over 3 months (600/3=200) has more board presence than a poster with 600 posts over 12 months (600/12=50). Those with more board presence shed their newbie status faster.

But the more important figure is M(100). Even if somebody’s board presence is a fraction, they shed their newbie status upon completing 4 full months as a board member.

Note that any poster that has been registered for less than a full month is automatically a newbie. (Their Factor of Newbieness is 0, as their M would equal zero.)

So, anyone who has been here less than one month is a newbie. Anyone who has been here longer than 4 months is no longer a newbie. For those who have been here between 1 and 4 months, status is determined by the Factor of Newbieness.

  1. Time. Anyone who has been here less than an month is definitely a newbie. Anyone who has been here less than three months will retain some newbie-like characteristics.

Some sample calculations (numbers are rounded):

Green Bean
Registration date: March 4, 2000
Number of full months on the board (M): 9
Post Count (PC): 1450
1450/9 + 9(100) = 161 + 900 = 1061
N = 1061
I am not a newbie, but we knew that because I have been here longer than 4 months.

HannibalV
Registration date: November 21, 2000
Number of full months on the board (M): 0
Post Count (PC): 22
22/0 + 0(100) = 0
N = 0
HannibalV is a newbie, but we knew that becuase he has been here less than a month.

stargazer
Registration date: October 3, 2000
Number of full months on the board (M): 2
Post Count (PC): 30
30/2 + 2(100) = 15 + 200 = 215
N = 214
Stargazer is a newbie because her N < 400.

Nymysys
Registration date: November 3, 2000
Number of full months on the board (M): 1
Post Count (PC): 506
506/1 + 1(100) = 506 + 100 = 606
N = 1061
Nymysys is not a newbie, even though she has barely been here a month, as her N > 400

[Unfortunately, using this formula, it is possible for a poster to lose and then regain newbie status. Example: A poster at one month has 301 posts (N = 401) but by 2 months only has 398 posts (N = 399). Any ideas on how to fix this bug?]

I submit the above to the teeming millions for their consideration.

Now how to figure out who’s a reg??

39

I’d like to take Ed Zotti under my wings. Poor little guy.

40

…but then again I suck at math.

Welfy
Registration Date: March 12, 1999 (technically, since I first registered under Ruby Sunbeam and then decided to change my name in April of the same year)
Post Count: 851
Number of Months on Board: 22

PC/M + M(100) = N
851/22 + 2200 = 2239
So apparently I’m not a newbie, for due to having a sort-of low post count (compared to the people who started a year after me and are already hitting the thousands), I have the advantage of having been here since the beginning of time.

:smiley: