Well, I have (as of this post) 3076 posts.
3076/6 + 6(100) = 512 + 600 = 1112
Evidently I am no longer a newbie.
Nocturne has requested that I take her under my arm. She has been here since July and as such is technically a newbie, but if you look at her post rate and overall post count I don’t think she really is (plus I likes her . . . :)).
So I am taken.
The dividing line between regular and newbie lies in the Initiation!
For the purposes of getting the fun started, you can use any old system to determine the Initial Newbiness. So get cracking, folks!
sits in a boat with a fishing pole, a la Ernie from Sesame Street
Heeeere Newbie newbie newbie!
Come on! I don’t bite…
hard!
Welfy, if I may point out, DynoSaur is sitting over there in the corner like a puppy in a cardboard box. G’wan! Get over there and Initiate!
sigh
Too old to be a newbie…
Too silent to be a mentor.
cough cough
Huh? oh, don’t mind me… I’m just a newbie.
looks in welfys direction
I want to be initiated too… any mentors out there for me?
Ogre…
Damn, that was nice. oops I mean…My, how eloquent you are! 
Really, that was lovely. Much more than I expected. Were you impressed with how poorly I used your favorite words? Leave it to lurker to point out just how bad a job I did. sighs, kicks dirt
I’ve been doing a little research on you…actually am in the process of it…so here’s my idea for your rites. Ten feats befitting this forum.
You’ve taken care of one–catering to my ego. (thanks again, btw)
Your second–random acts of kindness, three of them. And I want to hear all about them in gorey detail. I have a feeling you’ll excel at this.
Your third–since this the forum for the mundane and pointless, find and post ten completely useless, but interesting nonetheless, facts. Here’s the twist, you can’t get them from other threads or use information about other posters (that’s covered later).
Your fourth–come up with a new sig for me(this is closest I’ll get to hazing, I promise).
Your fifth–pick ten posters and give me two little-known facts about each of them.
That’s all I’ll plague you with today. Oh…and I want all those answers in German. Just kidding, just kidding…
obligatory knee-slap What a good sport you are, Ogre. Your GF is one lucky girl.
Sure you want to go on with this?
Well here goes:
307/8 + 8(100) = N
or
38.375 + 800 = 838.375
Then why do I still feel like I’m not one of the cool kids?
C’mon people show some love for the 33-year old, mundane businessman here!
Um
Someone?
So I’m not a newbie? How weird is that? I still FEEL like a newbie. I think Nen needs to protect me anyway. I feel fragile.
Struuter, I hope I didn't hurt you - I didn't mean to. If I phrased it so clumsily I insulted you, I apologize. Guess if it was "Leave it to lurker " I must be getting a rep as a smart ass. Sorry.lurker…
Ah honey, I was thinking along the lines of you being smart. Not a smart ass. I can only imagine that that part of your anatomy is as cute as the rest of you.
General rule of thumb with anything I post–I mean it in the best way possible. I’m the gooooood Ash. Not the baaaaaad Ash.
If you took offense, then maybe I was the smart ass. Forgive me?
well, seeing as UncleBeer hasn’t checked back and I don’t want the other mentors to get snatched up, I’m putting myself up for adoption again. Whoever wants me… 
Green Bean,
I choo-choo-choose you…to be my mentor.
What say you?
Hey! Sorry for the delay stargazer, I was distracted by my work for a bit. My apologies to you; won’t happen again. Let me think up a good initiation for ya. I may ask a legitmate question over in the GQ forum that you’ll be required to research and answer. I’ll give you a heads up though before I post it, so the vultures over there don’t get to it before you have a chance. How’s that sound? In the meantime, if you have any questions about, or need guidance on, the message board, fire away.
And I’m a bit disappointed that Silver Fire has declined my mentorship. I guess a threesome is out of the question. Rats.
Yay, I have a mentor! Thanks, UncleBeer!
Good thing I like research. I just hope I don’t get a big project at work at the same time!
Um, if it’s not too late, I wouldn’t mind having a mentor, if only to be considered enough of a “regular” to get a kiss in the mistletoe thread. (shameless, unmacho sniffling)
Any volunteers left?
I could forgive you anything. Done.blush Too sweet. Just too good to me.
Hey, waitaminnit! Some of my best friends are vultures!
Really.