I used to work in Chicago, in a department store,
Behind the fruit juice counter
A lady came in the door
She said she wanted some fruit juice
I asked her what kind she’d like
Nectar she wanted, and necked her I did
I’ll never work there anymore
Grandfather clocks were (and still are) called longcase or tallcase clocks before that song. The popularity of the song caused them to be called grandfather clocks.
You shouldn’t put them at the top of the stairs because they might run down.
If you go into the woods today
You’ll never believe your eyes
If you go into the woods today
You’re in for a big surprise
‘Cuz every bear that ever there was
Is gathered there for certain because
This is the day the teddy bears have their picnic
Do you mean that you wish you could be John Denver, or are you attributing the song to him?
I believe it was actually written by Paul Simon, based on a poem by Edward Arlington Robinson.
Fortunately not due again for nearly another year yet, but:
We’re starting to see decorations
We’re hearing bells in the air
Pictures of snowmen and reindeer
Appearing everywhere
We’re starting to spend lots of money
And altogether it’s plain
We can’t escape the conclusion:
It’s Christmas time again.
I hate Christmas
I wish the bugger had never been born
I hate Christmas...
Now everyone’s talking of peace
And goodwill to mankind
Until you go in the gift shops
And then they rob you blind
There’s nothing to see on the TV
The films are all 50 years old
Can’t even go to the beach
‘Cos the sea’s too friggin’ cold
[chorus]
I’ll be so glad when the celebrations
Are over and done
Hangovers and indigestion
Are not a lot of fun
I’d like to skip the whole season
And that’s just what I would do
If only I had a time machine like Doctor Who…
<Interlude>
But that’s just wishful thinking
There’s no escape to be found
Until the sixth of January rolls around
So raise your glass to the party
And join the compulsory cheer
I guess we ought to be grateful
It’s only once a year.
[Chorus x 2 and playout]
I have an orchestrated and chorus recording of this, but I don’t think I dare put it up on YouTube!
A movie called, Rockshow documented Paul McCartney and Wings 1976 tour. Big Mac does an acoustic set where he plays, “Richard Cory,” and because he’s a wise guy, he subs Denver’s name.
Ah. I hadn’t seen that movie. Actually now I look at available clips of it, it seems that Denny Laine usually sang the lead vocal. But of course Macca likes to play around… and his stories are sometimes… a bit… embellished? What the hey, given his legacy, he’s entitled to shoot the breeze a bit!
The way that verse went in the book we used in music class when I was in elementary school (c. fifth grade 1986):
The coffee that they serve us
They say is mighty fine
It’s good for cuts and bruises
And tastes like iodine
Chorus
I don’t want no more of army life.
Oh, gee but I wanna go
Gee but I wanna go home!
Other verses from that book:
The biscuits that they serve us
They say are mighty fine
One fell off the table
And killed a pal of mine
The clothes that they give us
They say are mighty fine
Me and my buddy
Can both fit into mine
They treat us all like monkeys
And make us stand in line
They give you 50 dollars a week
And take back 49
The girls at the service club
They say are might fine
Most are over 80
And the rest are under 9
I read the poem in high school, back when the song was popular. I think the song is actually better, because of the addition made. In the poem everyone was surprised the guy took his own life and that was the end. In the song it goes on to have the singer still wanting to be rich like the dead man. He didn’t get the point that money doesn’t buy happiness.
Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
Happy, smiling faces if I flog my memory
Plenty to do in Doubleback Alley
Play peek-a-boo with Saccharine Sally
Bouncing a ball against a wall
Showing her drawers, “You come indoors!”
Her dad would call
My name is Yon Yonson
I live in Visconsin
I vork in da lumber yards dere
Ven I valk down da street
All da people I meet
Say, “Vat is your name?” and I answer:
My name is Yon Yonson…
Sammy is a singer and a good one too
Dooby-dooby-doo
Sing it to him once and he can sing it through
Dooby-dooby-doo
Sammy does his duty and his duty is his
Dooby-dooby-doo
You get a shiver in the dark, it’s raining in the park, but meantime
South of the river, you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing Dixie, double-four time
You feel alright when you hear that music ring
Well, now you step inside, but you don’t see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Competition in other places
Ah, but the horns, they blowing that sound
They sang a version of that once on MASH:
The surgeons in the Army
They say we’re pretty bright
We work on patients through the day
And nurses through the night.
Frank Burns’ contribution isn’t on the clip:
“Oh Hawkeye and BJ
Think they’re super-smart!
I’d like to take a scalpel and
Stab 'em in the heart!
(Heh, this is fun.)” 
Valderi valdera
Valderi valdera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Valderi valdera
my knapsack on my back.
Walk with me, I’ll walk with you, and
So we will walk together
Walk with me, I’ll walk with you,
and so we will walk together
As we march along.
I had a record (yes, an actual, ancient, vinyl record!) of the Smother Brothers doing this song (which is called “Marching to Pretoria”, btw), and after a couple of verses about marching and singing and dancing, Tommy starts singing,
"Oh, sleep with me, I’ll sleep with you,
And so we will sleep togeth-"
before his brother Dickie cuts him off.
In play –
A capital ship for an ocean trip was the walloping ‘Window Blind’
No wind that blew dismayed her crew or troubled the captain’s mind.
The man at the wheel was made to feel contempt for the wildest blow-oh-oh…
Though it often appeared, when the gale had cleared, that he’d been in his bunk below.
-“BB”-