In light of this, I expect to see numerous “pine tree” air fresheners hung thither and yon. I recall the stench of one little decomposing mouse behind the fridge - my eyes burn and water just to imagine this!!
Personally, I envision a scene like the waiting room in Beetlejuice with our intrepid Mods and Admins waiting for the coveted summons: “The Master will see you now.”
samarm said:
I dunno – does the combination of beer, goats, and guns make you hot?
Actually the decorating style is more Merchant’s Big Ol’ Bargain Warehouse. But we strenuously recommend that you not sit on the futon. The stains…well, you don’t want to know.
You really don’t want to know.
Durn tootin’. It’s a frayed Post-It note stuck to the monitor rim, bearing an arcane line of letters and numbers, labelled “Asswordpay”.
I really don’t want to hijack a fun thread, but may I ask a serious question?
Why did you people agree to do this job? It’s utterly thankless, you have to spend a boatload of time doing it, and you get unending abuse for your pay.
Why?
I’d never do what you guys do.
[sub]Just to get this thing back on track, I’m going to go to bed and dream about TVeblen all night. I have absolutely no idea what she’s like in person, but I’m going to dream about her anyway.[/sub]
Why do we do it? If your office had both a Krispy Kreme and a Ben & Jerrys on site open 24 hours a day, wouldn’t you be willing to put in the extra hours?
Krispy Kreme AND Ben & Jerry’s???
I am so there.
I’ll bring Pringles!!
Who needs Pringles when you’ve got a Godiva shop across the hall that keeps sending over truffle samples for our opinions. It’s a damn good thing we have free health benefits and a lifetime membership at the gym downstairs, I tell you.
You are gods!!!
[wayne’s world]
We’re Not Worthy - We’re Not Worthy
[/wayne’s world]
If only you could see her inside my head 
Love ya Veb!!!
You’re starting to get a tad creepy with this Veb fascination, Curious.
I was just shooting for a joke (and I will admit that I missed wildly), but you are starting to look stalkerish.
Maybe you’re harmless though. I can’t tell.
I’m sorry if this post offended Veb, who can take care of herself if she needs to. (If she even reads it, which she probably won’t bother to do.)
******* The doorway shimmers, and comes into being*******
I stepped though, and was stunned by what I saw. The room smelled vaugely of mildew, probably a remnant from the vast flooding in February. The walls were done in light colors, and the windows were nice and large. The bars on said windows, however, came as a bit of a surprise.
There were quite a few folks there. I wasn’t sure why I had been picked. I didn’t even know that many of the mods names, and I wasn’t a regular on IRC. I guess my wit and wisdom had shined through.
*Tubadiva I recognized, if only for the tuba. Coldfire was there as well. I never would have thought that modern loungewear would look so good with wooden shoes.
Manhatten was looking with wry amusement at the SS uniform that a loving fan had sent him.
There was a slew of others, whose names I recognized… David B, Ukelele Ike, Uncle Beer and others.
The room resembled in some ways a college frat den. The furniture was old, but comfy looking. There was a dart board, with an inscription from Sue Dhynum. A large rainbow poster that had been signed by matt_mcl and several other of our out dopers.
In a corner was a server that someone had converted to a habitrail. Hamsters were running around frantically. It was an amusing sight, but I had to wonder how much truth was to the jokes of hamster powered servers.
A door off to the side had a simple placcard on it that read Cecil. There was a box to the side that said “Questions” that was filled to overflowing with slips of paper.
I was a bit nervous. I certaintly wasn’t expecting this. I stepped forward, and nerviously introduced myself. What was the future going to hold? I had no idea. But I was eager to find out.
The mods immediatly fire me because I can’t code to save my ass.
I wasn’t offended, Exgineer. People who actually offend us are impressed, in the historical sense of being kidnapped and dragged away in chains for servitude. Along with pay-to-post we took a serious look at the classic “rum, sodomy and the lash” option. We felt it held great potential.
People who flunk the coding test, on the other hand, just have to do community service; frisking troll carcasses for spare change for a beer run, say.
Veb
You are met at the other end of the door by Coldfire, who issues you your official wooden shoes. Uncle Beer hands you your Official SDMB Mug. Eutychus sits in the corner, obviously stressed, repeating over and over “No lyrics, No lyrics.”
After wading through the spilt beer and passed out drunken hamsters you round the corner and pass Tristan in the Community Service Center.
You’re on your way to meet Him so you’re a little nervous. You think you’d maybe like to take a piss before you do so that you don’t embarrass yourself, but the bathroom has been occupied by CuriousCanuck for hours and hours. TVeblen brushes past muttering something about a missing picture.
Exgineer is sleeping in the hall, his arm wrapped around a goat, smiling and talking in his sleep. We won’t print what he says here, because it might embarrass him.
The firing range is filled with Mods taking potshots at silhouettes of trolls past and drinking beer. None of them even cast a glance your way. After all, you’re just a newbie to them. You take your leave, past the Godiva shop, Krispy Kreme, and Ben and Jerry’s.
You come to a door, golden and trimmed in platinum. It opens of it’s own accord, to the boisterous sounds of angelic choirs (and from somewhere, a Tuba). You are blinded by the light but push forward to see:
I’ve been waiting for weeks to apply that fricking quote to the Master. It just seems so appropriate to me. Thanks for the great thread London Calling.
You are kidding right? I do not think that you need worry so much.
Then explain the missing photo and your excessive bathroom time.
Oh, and welby,
You have included me into my first SDMB story. 
Made me smile for the first time today. Thanks!
Now… where did I put that picture… 
Preview! :smack:
Anyway, Have you ever seen the bathroom there? I was in awe… though I am afraid I am sworn to secrecy about why. As for the picture… well I misplaced it sadly, but I think if I hide out here I might be able to get another…
Well of course I didn’t, it was occupied.
You LOST it?! It was irreplaceable, swiped right off the Post Office wall! Well, I guess it could be replaced but not without further felonies.
Damn, the things we do for this place.
Veb
[sub]Actually the picture came from the bathroom in the first place. Cecil has all our wanted posters and warrant notices framed and hanging on the wall. Martha Stewart he ain’t.[/sub]