The secret I can finally reveal to fellow dopers. I am a highly decorated Navy SEAL

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Why would he? He’s just a mild mannered reporter, if I remember correctly.

22

I’m actually God. My atheism? Just a cover. Who’d suspect me of all people of being God? I can even tell people on message boards my true identity and they’ll never believe me!
Edited in order to create a false impression of fallibility and preserve my cover

23

Pics or it didn’t happen! No, wait, I remember how that went last time…

24

You are all just voices in my head.

25

I fathered all of ya, you can ask your mom and she will deny of course, but her mysterious smile after you pop the question is all about her remembering the night we conceived you .

yeah ,you can call we Daddy, but don’t come asking for a allowance or anything

26

I see none of my fellow Rangers have posted in the thread yet. I’m on disability due to my last mission. My team and I had to sneak across a south american border to go rescue a diplomat and the previous rescue team. The rest I can’t talk about.

27

I’m Koragg the Knight Wolf. I ate the other Rangers.

28

I used to be a Seal, but I got promoted. I’m now a Steller Sea Lion.

29

I…am Spartacus!

30

Bow to me. I am the walrus! (Koo koo ka choo!)

31

I am not a Navy SEAL. I am, however, a grey seal. One day I hope to be promoted to orca.

32

That gave me the biggest laugh I’ve had in a long time. Thanks, dude.

Now to get back to that super secret project I was going to tell you guys about. They said they’d kill me if I told, but that wo

33

Wait a minute, I’m a seal, too!
And this thread has my approval.

34

Well, first I [redacted]

Then in 1995 there was the time I [redacted]

And the whole Y2K thing? I [redacted]

Things have been quiet lately, but I’m keeping in shape for 1012 when I will [redacted]

35

I’m a vacuum seal.

36

<giggles> Naw, that’s just ice cream!

37

Sort of like me but without the capital “L” and the holes in the feet, huh?
Anyone else read the thread title and flash a mental image of a circus seal wrapped in Christmas lights and bulbs? No? :smack:

38

The walrus was Paul. (Clue.)

39

Those moon landing hoaxes are all bullshit. And I know this because as an astronaut I’ve been to the moon.

40

I don’t want to brag, so I won’t go into detail. But remember a few years ago when the Iron Curtain collapsed and then the Soviet Union itself fell?