We may not know your mission, but you let slip the fact that you have a super secret time machine!
I don’t usually talk about it but I was highly decorated.
Taught me not to fall asleep on the couch when the kids were setting up the Christmas tree.
I just had to change my phone number because the “Most interesting man in the world” just won’t stopping bugging me and wanting to tag along.
Sorry about that, he asked me if I had it.
I blew a navy seal once. The mechanic replaced it with an orange one.
I founded the Navy SEALs, and the British SAS!
How do you sneak across South American borders in those giant robot dinosaur things you guys drive?
And I make up the rest of the SAS. I’m that good a soldier that the SAS now solely consists of myself and clones thereof.
Also, Chuck Norris wears Neverender pajamas.
Aaaaand here I am!
I have a functioning time machine. I’ll just pop back a minute or two and post to this thread.
Have you lost your mind?
Personally, I’m a Greek god!
no doubt because he deserved it. 
I am the protrusion into this dimension of a vast four-dimensional entity.
Well, now you’re just making stuff up.
I’m a lover, not a fighter.
You put BandAids on it?
I used to be a sergeant in FDF light infantry (Recon)… I would tell you more, but I would be committing treason by merely describing the super secret training I received. Sufficed to say, I’m a real-life government trained killing machine.
Yes, and you . . . and millions of others . . . are decorated every year to celebrate ***MY ***birthday!
And yes it’s true, I can walk on water.
I set people on fire at vast distances, using only my brain. Hang on, just a minute…there.
If you don’t believe me, check the Mombasa newspapers tomorrow.
I was the second shooter on the grassy knoll.