The Secret to Picking Up Chicks

Lift with the knees, not with the back. :cool:

Wonderful advice. It is also important to be careful going through doorways - don’t want to ding up the corners, ya know!


I dunno, I generally don’t go for the girls with corners on them. :smiley:

It’s important to have proper deadlift form when picking up a chick. I could pick up a 170 lb chick, maybe, but definitely no bigger.

Very carefully, and be gentle. Occassionally they poop in your hands. Don’t get excited, just place the chick back in its pen and wipe it off.

Ah, an elephant bird chick then. Either that or a roc.

Work with a fellow lifter – it’s more stable to the chick, and you each only have to lift half the weight.

The first time I picked up a girl at a party, it was because the table she was sitting on collapsed – and I helped carry her out to the car that took her off to the hospital.

The professional answer is to use the right equipment. Safety is no accident.

Obviously, after you pick up the chick, don’t squeeze to hard. It’s not cool to have a dead chick in your hands.

Just as dificult sometimes can be determing if they are chicks. Since most peeps don’t have feathers I use the vent sexing method before picking them up.

Hah. You’re all a bunch of wusses - I can easily pick up a chick with one hand!

Also, this (url may not be work safe; image is).

That’s why I always wrap them in a carpet.

Remember, kids, chicks also come with easy carrying handles and finger holds. Its also very possible that your chick won’t fit into an overhead compartment. If you come across this predicament, don’t take the extremities off. They’re very hard to get back into place.

I’ve picked up lots of chicks in my time. Sadly, though, I didn’t get my hands on any boobies or tits.

Well now it’s not really a secret anymore, is it!

Handle any hooters, then?

In my line of work, that’s known as a whale sling. But we’d never say that in front of the whale, er, person it was moving.
And as the OP suggested, lift with the legs, not the back. With my partner, I ‘picked up’ a 350-pound chick the other day.
We used one of these.

They say the heavier chicks are the easiest to pick up but that hasn’t been my experience.

I stick to the frozen ones, never had one of those poop in my hand

One day the chickens were out in the barnyard when they heard a commotion coming from the well. “Help! Help!”

Peering down the well, they saw that the horse had fallen down into the well and was trapped. “Go get the farmer’s Corvette, tie a rope to the bumper, and pull me out!” cried the horse. Working together, the chickens managed to do just that, much to the horse’s relief.

Some months later, the horse heard a cry of “Help! Help!” coming from the well. Looking inside, he observed several of the chickens which had recently saved him. “Go get the farmer’s Corvette,” they asked. “No need for that,” replied the horse. “Grab hold of my penis, and I’ll pull you out.” Lowering his massive member into the well, the chickens seized it, and were lifted to safety.

The moral of the story being: When you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a Corvette to pick up chicks.