The shit politicians list

The BBQ Pit
1

Ok, so we all hate politicians. I don’t think that’s really fair. I mean afterall, these are people who are supposed to be out there with the mandate of making all our lives better in as many ways as they can. That seems like a pretty noble cause if you ask me. Why then, do they get such a bad rap?

I venture to say that it is because of a few ‘bad apples’. (Granted, there’s a pretty high proportion of bad to good, so this thread should at least have plenty of fuel)

So here’s your chance. Haul out your most hated politician and roast him/her on a spit. Preferably a good an phlegmy one.
Here are a few off my current shit list:

Jacques Parizeau: This nazi could have been Hitlers best friend. The only good thing I can say about this asshole is that he is too stupid to keep his bigotry a secret. If this were Bosnia, he’d be the one in charge of ethnioc cleansing.

Jean Chretien:
For the fiasco that was our most recent federal election. I am severely offended when I see politicians strategizing and focusing more on manipulating public opinion rather than addressing the issues and trying to get elected on their merits. These people employ ‘political strategists’ - I think there’s something fundementaly fucked with this.

Gilles Duceppe
This from Ian Macdonald’s opinion column in the Gazette:
"In the Pequiste camp, the recriminations set in even as the votes were being counted. Duceppe was infuriated by the timing of Lucien Bouchard’s municipal-merger bill, introduced less than two weeks before the election. It clearly cost him three seats in Quebec City.

No kidding he was upset. The last thing you want to do is let the electorat know what you are up to before an election. Idiot.

Quebec Premier Lucien Bouchard
Most recently for his forced mergers plan. So much for democracy. This guy has a talent for figuring out exactly what Quebecers don’t want and doing his absolute best to ram it through.

Montreal mayor Pierre Bourque
For being an egotistical megalomaniac with no concept of his responsibilities to the citizens of Montreal, nor any respect for the rights/identiuty of the communities surrounding the city. Likes to travel and blow big taxpayer money overseas, particularly on gardens.

Attorney General of Canada, Anne McLellan
For shelving the report “for the sake of the Children” for three years even though the recommendations within the report make it clear that there is a crisis situation within the courts and that kids are getting royally screwed everyday… among other things…

That’s it for now. I’m sure I could come up with others, but for now I will yield the soapbox to the next comer.

2

Um, Dewt? I remember one time when the very unpleasant Howard Galganov was yelling at a bunch of St-Jean-Baptisters who were protesting outside a hospital. He was yelling about how they’re Nazis. Then this old lady came tottering out and said that as a survivor of Auschwitz, she’d appreciate it if he could find another metaphor.

Jacques Parésseux is a racist, woolenheaded twit, though.

Further shit list: Stockwell Day. He went into election with an extreme-right-wing platform, and when he found out that might cost him votes, he backpedalled so fast the chain snapped. Also, note to gay community: he’s a bigoted, homophobic fuck who tried to used the notwithstanding clause to keep gay people from getting their rights in Alberta, and he is not cute. Ick.

Paul Martin. In a bizarrely Oedipal ritual he is trying to undo all the good work his father did. He takes his marching orders directly from the austerity-measures division of the IMF - literally (he started his $60 billion cuts to social programs on their say-so.) And he didn’t deign to stick out his nose in his own damn riding and got re-elected anyway.

Raymond Lavigne. Here’s where it gets personal. MP for Verdun/St-Henri/St-Paul/Pte-St-Charles (ring any bells?) In the last year of his tenure he stood up six times, of which one was to congratulate the queen and princesses of the St Patrick’s Day Parade and one was to wish Canadians a happy mothers’ day. He’s a complete fainéant who does nothing for the people of his riding but hold spaghetti dinners. He was the only candidate who didn’t show up for the all-candidates’ debate - the one that was held at the homeless shelter. (He was afraid of getting lynched, I guess.) And now he gets a fucking pension.

Mike Harcourt and Glen Clark destroyed the NDP in BC. Now the provincial NDP there is more right-wing than the federal Liberals. I say we decertify them.

Mike Harris scares the living shit out of me and makes me want to avoid Ontario until he dies. People have literally died in Toronto due to his cuts to medicare and social services and in Walkerton due to his cuts to the environment ministry. He’s an evil asshole who doesn’t give a shit about the people of his province and, incidentally, whose idea of a good book is Mr. Silly from the Mr. Men.

George W. Bush and Al Gore for being such indistinguishable twits.

3

John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia. Basically because he is a complete hypocrite. At the beginning he said that people in his cabinet who had a conflict of interest or did something illegal would be kicked out of government. Then a few years ago the Treasurer (yeah, add Peter Reith to that shit list) started orchestrating a campaign to kick unions out of the manufacturing industries. He was coordinating the businesses responses with government policy. This is huge collusion and in no way what the people wanted. Eventually they were made to put it all away. Then in the last year it has emerged that Reith has managed to use $50 000 of tax payers money on a private telephone card (should say this is not business related, he gave the number to his son and it then got passed around from there). It is a federal offense to use government priveledges for non government purposes, and he should have faced gaol for it. Instead, both Howard and Reith covered it up and hoped it would go away.

And Kim Beazley too, for not giving us a viable choice. Get a personality.

4

Rick Santorum “esteemed” Senator from my state. I would vote for Satan himself (The Lord of Darkness, not the Straight Dope poster) if he was running against Santorum. He is the devil incarnate.

Oddly, I don’t mind Arlen Specter too much.

The rest of my list is much too long to put into one post. I spend way too much time watching CNN and MS-NBC.

5

Tony Blair - For constantly evading every single issue of any weight and substance and prevaricating upon EVERY SINGLE EURPOEAN ISSUE YOU COULD GET YOUR FILTHY LITTLE MONKEY PAWS ON * and * trying to make us believe it’s all in our best interests. For pandering shamelessly to the IRA, big business, the EU, the United States, EVERYONE just to try and secure a little place in history. For helping to increase the gap between the rich and the poor by incresaing stealth taxes rather than earnings related taxes (income tax for example) and thereby simultaneously screwing over the poor and the elderly of this once great nation whilst providing relief for the miniscule percentage of big business, upper income bracketed wankers (who we all know are really running the country) just so they’ll give you donations when election day begins to loom on the horizon. For consistently blaming your endless run of irredeemable fuck ups on ‘The previous administration’ without doing a goddam thing to put them right.

For all these things and many, many more. I request the right honourable Tony Blair to be added to the Shitlist of slimy, insidious, corrupted and generally worthless politicians.

6

Matt, I can see why that lady might have taken offense. After all, we anglos aren’t being gassed (yet). I stand by my statement though, especially when I think of how the Jews must have felt before the shit hit the fan. (I’m no expert on history, but I don’t think Hitler just got up one day and decided to exterminate all the Jews. There must have been something leading up to the holocaust… no?)

All those you mentioned made it onto the list, especially Doris… I mean Stockwell. Yes indeed, he scares me.

I also see we’re getting some international action on this list. Cool. So much for printing it up, I guess. I can’t afford all that paper.

We don’t hear much about Australian politics here in Canada. I’m not sure if I’m reassured or deassured that things seem pretty much the same over there.

Latecomer… you wouldn’t vote for Satan (sdmb) sheesh… Santorum and Specter are pretty ominous names for politians.

Tony Blair? You got Tony Blair? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

7

I think it’s against the rules to use the word “nazi” unless you are actually talking about the Nazi Party as it existed early-to-mid 20th Century. I think there’s a thread about this, but I’ve never read it.

8

I’d like to know what the nazis were like before they started actually exterminating folk. Were they talking about ‘preserving’ and ‘protecting’ their culture/way of life? Preserving their ‘identity’, etc…? Or did they just call the press one day and decide to kill and cleanse all these people out of the blue? A nazi who hasn’t yet killed anyone is still a nazi, and I use the term more to describe an archetype than to specifically define Quebec separatists.

9

Wow, I’m not at all surprised to find a number of politicians who have, at one time or another, allegedly represented me: Rick Santorum, Mike Harris, Tony Blair…I am ruled by fools.

Anyway, a few UK pols:

"Wonder Boy" William Hague: Has he ever had an original thought of his own, or does he just steal stuff from Thatcher and today’s Daily Mail headline? Any time there’s something in the news, Wonder Boy Hague pops up to accuse the Government of not following the will of the people, etc. He’s the guy who’s going to cut taxes, raise public spending, and basically promise the earth. Despite all his demagoguery, the Tories are still 15 points behind Labour. Last year, Wonder Boy went on a “fact-finding” mission to (guess where?) Ontario, to get some choice tips from (guess who?) Mike Harris. The best thing about Hague is that you’ll never hear from him again after the Tories get swamped in the next General Election.

Maggie Thatcher: Enough said, really.

Ann Widdecombe (aka “Doris Karloff”): She’s her own parody. “Lock 'em all up, let God sort 'em out later.” So right-wing she makes even Thatcher nervous, her ideas are even worse than Wonder Boy’s. The fear of her becoming Home Secretary alone will help the Tories to lose the next election.

Jack Straw: I have to include a Labour pol just to make this even. Home Secretary Straw seems determined to turn the UK into Oceania from 1984 with his snooping laws on e-mail and phone messages, laws which fundamentally contradict European Human Rights legislation. Also for some reason has managed to get away with some crude racism which would have caused newspapers to condemn any other pol.

I could go on and on, but I think these will help convince you that pols are the same wherever you go.

10

Bob Barr. (Congressman from Georgia’s 7th district, not mine, thankfully) This man is truly evil.

Joe Lieberman. He, Gore, Clinton, and the rest of the DLC people are the ones responsible for pulling the Democratic Party to the right. And, as Eve said a few months ago, he can kiss my godless backside.

Pat Buchanan. Another Nazi who has stopped just short of killing people.

I can think of many more, but I won’t bore you just yet.

11

I kinda thought this list might get a little long. Let’s review shall we?

In order of appearance, we have:

  1. Jacques Parizeau, Quebec separatist
  2. Jean Chretien, Canadian Prime Minister
  3. Gilles Duceppe, Quebec separatist
  4. Lucien Bouchard, Quebec PM
  5. Pierre Bourque, Montreal Mayor
  6. Anne McLellan, Canadian Justice Minister (snortchuckle)
  7. Stockwell Day, Canadian Federal Politician
  8. Paul Martin, Canadian Finance Minister
  9. Raymond Lavigne, MP for Verdun/St-Henri/St-Paul/Pte-St-Charles
  10. Mike Harcourt, Canadian Politician
  11. Glen Clark, Canadian Politician
  12. Mike Harris, PM of Ontario
  13. George W. Bush, US President Wannabe
  14. Al Gore, US President Wannabe
  15. John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia
  16. Peter Reith, Treasurer in Australia
  17. Kim Beazley,
  18. Rick Santorum, “esteemed” Senator of Indiana(?)
  19. Arlen Specter,
  20. Tony Blair, PM of England
  21. “Wonder Boy” William Hague, UK Politician
  22. Maggie Thatcher, still alive? No kidding.
  23. Ann Widdecombe (aka “Doris Karloff”), UK Politician
  24. Jack Straw, Home Secretary (English?)
  25. Bob Barr, (Congressman from Georgia’s 7th district
  26. Joe Lieberman, US running mate to Al Gore
  27. Pat Buchanan, US Politician

I’m sure there are more, so if you want to add anyone to this list go for it. The politician should be alive (debatable) and politically active to make it onto this list. (Does that cancel Thatcher?) You should also give a short explanation as to why they’re on your shit list.

With so many shitheads seeking power, this list might get a little unmanagable. So there will be an Extra Special Shit List (immenently renameable), say a top ten, reserved for the most villainous, dangerous politicians in the world. You can nominate anyone from the master list providing you didn’t put them on the list in the first place.

At the end, we can give awards, like say a bronze plated poop, or a special Swedish bank account, or a big multi-pronged dildo to stick up the electorate’s ass.

Sound like fun? Or am I suffering from delusions of grandeur as far as this thread goes?

Whatever. I hearby nominate Mike Harris to the ESSL.
Doris… uh, I mean Stockwell Day too,

12

If I can make a nomination to the ESSL too, I think I’ll put in a vote for Thatcher. (In response to the question over whether she’s still politically active, I’ll say that she is now working through her sock-puppet, William Hague. I think Hague is actually a Thatcher Borg.)

Thatcher gets my vote, though, only because she ruined a lot more lives than Mike Harris. Give Harris time, though, and he might be up there. (Ultimate Canadian nightmare: Canadian Alliance and Progressive Conservatives unite under the leadership of Harris!)

13

Jesse Helms, NC senator. Self-explanatory, really.

Mike Farris, former candidate for lieutenant governor in VA. Currently the founder of Patrick Henry University, a special training camp where Christian youth will be isolated from the contaminations of the secular world (like dancing, evolutionary theory, and university classes that actually require thought) and groomed into the next generation of right-wing politicians. Scary, scary guy.

Charles Robb, lame-duck VA senator. For screwing up an election Mickey Mouse could have won handily, and thereby singlehandedly keeping the Dems from getting control of the Senate.

Mychele Brickner, Fairfax County School Board member. OK, so she’s not exactly in the same class with Prime Ministers and such, but any candidate who pledges to remove “dark and depressing” works from public school literature classes and replace them with something more upbeat, deserves a special place in my personal hell.

14

Dewt, I think the term you want is “nationalist” (which is where the “natz” sound in “Nazi” comes from anyway). You can object to nationalism whether or not it includes the added horror of an active eugenics or genocidal component as the Nazi’s did.

I don’t know whether the early Nazi’s were content just being rabidly anti-Semitic and xenophobic or if they actually campaigned on a “Let’s exterminate” platform. I think the original plan was expulsion and the idea of a “Final Solution” came later but, again, I’m not sure.

More directly to the point of this thread:

Trent Lott and every other politician who dragged the US through a laughable impeachment proceeding when the country had much more important things to do.

15

Amen to that from a Ron Klink voter.

Santorum does jack shit in the Senate as far as I know. I once saw him on a list of “the most useless Senators”.