The Siren Call of McDonalds

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
1

It was last Tuesday when it first happened, when those golden arches of evil snagged me and drug me into their drive through lane. Next thing I knew I was suddenly back on the road to work with a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Bagel meal in the passenger seat of my car. I tried not to read too much into this strange occurence, I doube the news channels would get out of bed for a supposed alien abduction to Mickey D’s.

So I went to work and sat in the car listening to the local uncouth morning show while eating this meal. I mean, it’s in the car, I can’t very well waste it - and I couldn’t find a bum in need of a meal to save my life - or his. So I ate it and went on with my day.

Wednesday morning rolls around and suddenly I’m driving to work again and this time I get in the lane furthest from the dastardly fast food place. I make the turn and am on the road, driving by McDonalds. I laugh inwardly at my little victory, when suddenly I realize I’m in the drive through giving the tinny voice my order. Huh? I say again, Bwa Huh?

Thursday morning, I turn on the road and it’s like my body is being posessed by a being outside of myself. I’m driving to work and then I’m turning into McDonalds. By sheer force of will I’m pulling into a parking space instead of the drive through, Ha! I think to myself. I’ll walk into and then walk out of McDonalds - tricking them into thinking I actually ordered something. I’ll show them.

So I get out of the car and begin walking to the double doors. I step inside and am about to turn around when a younger cute girl with the McDonalds shirt and cap asks “Can I take your order?”

“#6 to go, with OJ.” Was that me? Did I just give her my order? Blast! Foiled again.

I get to the car and head to work. I pull into the parking spot and eat the breakfast grumbling all the while about how f*cking tasty this food is, and how quickly I feel my pores greasing up and my belly bulging. Ugh.

This morning I’m determined. I eat a small breakfast before leaving the house. I lock the doors and windows. I crank the music and as I make the turn I try to block my view of the Arches - but no, the car goes on auto pilot and reels me in.

The Sirens, like a sailor in an ancient sea going vessel, harness me whenever I come too close. They bring me in close and then smash my weightloss on the rocks of tasty food.

DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM ALL!

Monday I try again to survive them, Monday will be a new day and I’ll bring with me the holy cross of the Burger King, a garlic bulb, a wooden steak and a derringer with a silver bullet. Victory shall be MINE!

2

I’ve been working especially hard to free myself from the cult o’ McDonald’s.

I found myself entering the parking lot last week and like a fly to the zapper, I was drawn in and inevitably came out with my gold mine of grease, fat and sugar. :rolleyes:

However, I successfully avoided Mickey D’s this week. I figured an incremental approach to weaning off of it would work well. Although we weren’t really frequent flyers at Mickey D’s or anything like that, we went there often enough to make me uncomfortable about my family’s eating habits.

So, I made a resolution that the evilly delicious (I can’t believe I wrote that) and sinful Mickey D’s will be reserved for the occasional treat only.

I’ve dropped some weight and I liiiike the results. I want to hang onto those results, and improve upon them further, so this is just the incentive I needed to put my hands over my ears and run from Mickey D’s screaming “Lalalala, I don’t HEAR you, LA-LA-LA-LA-LA I don’t HEAR YOU!!”

I’ve been scouring the 'net for interesting recipes to make at home that will take Mickey D’s off the minds of the Silverjuniors.

Tofu nuggets, anyone? :smiley:

3

The breakfast abductions are by far the hardest to resist. There’s just something about those baconeggandcheese biscuits that latches onto you and reels you in. Luckily for me, I’d have to get off the bus and then wait for the next one in order to get sucked into the Mac Shack on my way to work, which so far I have been able to avoid. Come warmer weather, the trip may become more hazardous, though.

4

After I read Fast Food Nation, I went two years without eating McDonalds. Then, one of my co-workers brought me lunch, and I fell off the wagon with a thud.

I had it for breakfast this morning, actually.

5

Yeah I just started a new job that has a McDonald’s RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. It sucks me in about 3 times a week now… those breakfast’s always sucker me in! I’m quite frightened that I know that a #2 with OJ will cost $3.89.

6

Well… occasionally I get a taste for a Egg MacMuffin, only because it seems to use something that actually resembles an egg. I may eat one every 3 or four months. I got into a mood for a Big Mac about 6 months ago and got one of those.

Nothing they make at MacDonald’s tastes good enough to get me there on a regular basis.

7

Work across the street from McDs? I LIVE across the street. Out of my bedroom window I have a lovely view of the pool, huge grassy lawn, the Rocky Mountains…but the first thing I see when I step out the front door is the trifecta of gustatory sin: McDonalds, Taco Bell and KFC. I’ve managed to avoid the latter two because they’re still sleeping it off from the night before when I leave for work. But the soothing yellow glow of the arches whispers to me as I fire up the Camry. And I close my eyes and plead with myself, “Not this morning. Just this morning…” But you see, when I leave the parking lot of my apartment complex, I’m at a 4-way stop light. From an access road, which means I have to wait for my light to change. As I wait, the evil face of Ronald McDonald grins knowingly as my resolve withers. My light is green, my car suffers a peculiar mechanical failure and the steering wheel will not turn to the left, nor the right, and before I know it I’ve crossed the intersection and have entered the parking lot of evil.

I’ve tried to quit. Tried making my own biscuit/scrambled egg & bacon sammich. It’s good, it’s much less expensive, but it’s not even close. Like the sickly sweet dose of Methodone to a recovering junkie, it’s just not the same. And get this: the sausagemcmuffinwithegg is only $1 in Colorado. I don’t know why it’s so cheap here, everywhere else I’ve been in the country it’s more than $2, but not here. I’m SOOOOO screwed!

8

I had made the decision to stop eating at McDonalds a few months before reading that, actually. Then I did read it (maybe a year and a half ago?) and it solidified my decision.

And for what it’s worth, I’ve lost about sixty pounds in the last year-plus.

“Siren call” is a good way to describe it, though. It’s just so tempting, under certain circumstances. Two nights ago, for example, I was rushing to get to rehearsal after work. Evening traffic was awful, and I wasn’t going to get a chance to have a good sit-down dinner. As the minutes crawled by, I considered a number of options for how to get some food into me before getting to the theater; and as traffic got worse and worse, I knew I’d have less and less time to actually eat.

And then I remembered that there was a McDonalds on the way, just off the exit I’d be taking, and that I could do the drive-up window in two or three minutes.

It was mildly disturbing how my salivary glands responded to the visceral memory of the incredibly delicious grease, salt, fat, and assorted chemically manipulated tastes.

I resisted, but I could feel myself giving in. “Just this once,” I said to myself. “I’ll never do it again. This is an emergency. Just calories. I’m in a hurry.”

Finally, I kicked myself in the ass, and stopped at a supermarket instead, where I got a fresh sandwich and a small pack of sushi from the deli section.

I’ll be damned if I give in. But holy cow, the urge was powerful.

9

As much as I’d like to think I’m “above” McDonalds, they’re one of the few drive-thru places around, they’re cheap as shit, and it’s on the way to everywhere. Long live the Dollar Menu!

10

We’ve managed to keep our addiction down to only hitting McD’s on the way to Las Vegas, which means several times a year. A quick lunch pause (#3 Extra value meal for me, #9 Extra value meal for the wife, and a strawberry shake.) What bothers me is that I look forward to lunch almost as much as I do Vegas. Oh, well. It’s cheaper, at any rate. :smiley:

11

You can do it, people! I’m here to testify. I haven’t eaten at a McDonald’s in, oh, at least five years. You know what gave me the strength? The ads. That’s what finally pushed me over the edge. It was the realization that a portion of every dollar I gave them went to pay for those gawdawful “We love to see you smile” ads. The current “I’m lovin’ it” campaign is even worse. So next time you feel the pull, please, remember the children!!!

12

I’d just like to say that I really, really resent all of you people who can lose weight simply by not eating fast food–by switching from regular pop to diet (who the hell drinks regular pop? it’s just not something one does)–or by using oil and vinegar instead of bottled salad dressing. You all suck. :mad:

13

I do. I can’t take the chemical after-taste of Diet. :smiley:

14

Seconded. You betcha. Curse this lame metabolism!
Silenus. Us, too. Well, road trips in general. It just so happens that we go to Vegas quite an awful lot. For some reason, a road trip is the only time McD’s tastes really good to me.

15

I work within five blocks of two McD’s, a big two-story one for tour busses and a little mall one for neighborhood employees.

16

Three cheers for the Barstow McD’s! :smiley:

Although they really need to do something about that parking lot.

17

As do I, for the exact same reason.

I get a ride every other week to work (carpool). When it’s my week to drive and I have the car, no problem. But on my off weeks, I often have 2 or 3 Big Macs a week. Because they are within walking distance from the job, and because I can get in there before the rest of the cubicle farms in this section of town let out for lunch, I’m not waiting in line.

But I only eat the Big Mac meal.

18

The absolute lowest point was the “control freak” ad. Girl, he’s not attached because he’s a control freak but rather he thinks McDonald’s is a good place for a first date!

19

It gives me a migraine.

20

I am sayin’.
Word of caution. Never, ever deviate from the McDonalds plan and try to eat at any of the other establishments there. It’ll make your head explode. My very own melon reached critical mass when ambling through that building to a chinese place and watching the foodserver on the other side of the counter wipe her nose on the back of her hand, scratch her head, and then dish up some chow.

That McD’s is the reason I try to work up a hunger before leaving town and hit the one on the boulevard. :smiley: