The Slutty Blanket

We have a slutty blanket at work. We have a quiet room where drivers can take naps during shifts. There is a single thin red blanket that is shared by og knows how many drivers. It has not been washed, to my knowledge. Most people are more comfortable sleeping on a couch with a blanket, because the quiet room is drafty. Few folks are sleeping at any given time, so everyone has a chance with the blanket.

I have a confession- even though I know its a huge raggedy slut…i’ve slept with the red blanket.

As long as it’s free of STDs*, sleep the hell outta that skanky blankie!

(*Snoring Truck Drivers-wouldn’t be polite to steal it off someone else who’s taking a nap)

That is one of the mose unusual thread titles I can recall.
And I won’t tell about the blankie…

Um… You realize that you’ve slept with everyone who’s slept with that blanket, right?

I support a constitutional amendment that defines cot-napping as one man, one blanket.

From the thread title I thought this was going to be something like an “adult” version of a Snuggie. A Snuggie with an extra hole/sleeve thingy or two.

And perhaps they would make a Kosher version as well? And Larry David could do the ads for it?

Has the blanket ever given consent? Sounds like a blame the victim thing here.

Sounds like a great children’s book!*

[sub]* Older children. Say, 22 or 30…[/sub]

I bet it was one of those trashy 50 thread count trailer park “blankets”

Did half the town rape this blanket?

Is it an old-school acrylic blanket?

You know the blanket wanted it, or it wouldn’t have been hanging out on that couch.

Tarted up blankets are the worst for bringing this on themselves.

Do you think the blanket has a sister?

I could really go for a tart right now. I’m so hungry.

Judge, Honestly I swear I thought that blanket was over 18 months old. It showed me ID even. Told me it was nearly finished with college! I mean look at how worn out and faded it looks!

The skanky blankie has always got you covered.

Obviously a new name for the blanket in question has been coined. “Skanky Blankie” it is.

Um, you ever read “The Rag Thing” by David Grinnell?

Be afraid.


I wouldn’t worry about it, as long as you use protection.

Hey, Billy Mays could have sold them for $19.99! (BUT if you order before midnight, you get a second one free, just pay separate handling charges. . .)