Relief or embarrassment? As I write this, I’m not sure which.
I went to the doctor’s office today at 3.
As it turns out, it was only a spermatocele (sic?).
It’s not all that common that a middle aged russian gentleman inquires how often I masturbate, as he rolls my balls between his fingers.
Oh well.
I suppose this didn’t live up to the hype.
Thank God.
–Tim
Usually you can make some pretty good money at a thing like that.
it’s just as well you are not a regular patient, or he would have asked if you come here often…
(ducking and running)
Homer, we always know what you mean.
Homer, you can try to explain it away with all the medical jargon you can think of, you can’t fool us.
It’s a relief. Glad to know you’re okay, Tim.
Um, I know I’m a girl and all, but why would pulling your pork have anything to do with your problem? Unless the doctor just asks that to get some cheap thrills.
I had one. It was a few months following my vasectomy. Normally, if they don’t bother you, they leave 'em alone. Mine bothered me, so they excised it. It took about 15 minutes or so and I walked out. No biggie. Glad to hear that’s all it is.
Pugluvr: How can I put this gently? I can’t.
When I was at home I beat off like a madman. Anyone with me in chat late night can attest to that. “Well, Dad just went to bed. Time to look at porn and beat off. G’night!”
When I moved into the frat house, I lost all privacy. Small room, missing window blind, communal shower, no computer for porn downloads, etc.
Basically I went from major-league wankin to abstinate in a single day.
Boom. Extra spermies got nowhere to go.
Apparently, if I beat off more, it’ll get rid of the spermatocele. And I can NOT argue with the doc suggesting an ol’ tug.
–Tim
Harsh. As a fellow chronic masturbater, you have my sympathies.
So did he write you a prescription for Swank? 
Man, is THAT a sig waiting to happen or what?
Really glad to hear all is well, Tim. Keep on wankin’, man. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you! Never cut down on masturbation, no matter the reason!
Zette
When I first read the title of this post, I looked at it really quickly and thought it said “The soft corpse of a man”. Of course, in the context of the OP, this title would only serve to confuse things.