I’ve gone on notable diatribes about my team, but I’d like to hand the reins over to a good friend of mine this time. He wrote up a piece on the WS that easily encapsulates how all the St. Louis fans feel right now.
Take it away, Sean:
St. Louis Jam
by Sean McDevitt
What a downer.
I mean, nobody thought it would go down like this. It should have been a competitive series. It should have been two of baseball’s best towns treating their fans to a grand show. The St. Louis Cardinals aren’t supposed to go quietly into that good night, which is exactly what they are going to do tonight.
The series is as over as Ashlee Simpson’s pop career… as finished as Ron Turner’s coaching career at Illinois… as done as overcooked turkey. I didn’t want the Cards to lose the World Series, and I wasn’t going to be surprised if they got beat in Game 6 or 7, but Game 4 was thoroughly unthinkable.
Cardinal fans are dazed. If I have to see one more group of fans in the stadium with their heads in their hands or with looks best described as shellshock, I’m going to scream. The Cards, in the World Series, are embarrassing themselves in a way that hasn’t happened in Cardinal Nation in a very long time, if ever.
It seems everyone is against the Cards. Fox is pushing Boston in their promos before the game, and St. Louis is treated like an afterthought. Tom Hanks appears on the Green Monster at Fenway begging for Bill Buckner to finally get a decent night’s sleep. Stephen King and Ben Affleck are in Fenway cheering their favorite team on. St. Louis Blues hockey forward Keith Tkachuk showed up in Boston gear at Busch. This must be what it’s like to have been a Boston fan for the last 86 years.
Albert Pujols, Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds are dormant and docile. They have a combined five hits in 33 at-bats (.151) with one RBI. They’re hitless in 11 at-bats with runners in scoring position. Rolen and Edmonds are one for 22, and the hit came on a bunt. And if we include the next batter in the line-up, Reggie Sanders, the 3-4-5-6 spots are five for 42, or .119.
I only have one explanation. No, not the evangelical hand of Babe Ruth or Pedro’s little buddy. Something far more sinister.
Aliens have sucked the talent out of the club.
Some alien culture has been observing baseball and has decided to play the game themselves. They found the best baseball team and using technology so far advanced it is indistinguishable from magic, have absorbed the talent from the Cardinals best players.
There can be no other explanation that is more plausible. I don’t believe in curses or ghosts. But aliens are among us and they’ve stolen Cardinal Nation’s dream for a World Series win.
The only hope for Cardinal fans is Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Loony Tunes gang plus part-time baseball player, Michael Jordan, to pull it together and beat those nasty aliens and return the talent back to the team.
Since I know how well Jordan plays baseball, I’m not too optimistic.