The St. Louis Jam: One man's thoughts on the World Series

I’ve gone on notable diatribes about my team, but I’d like to hand the reins over to a good friend of mine this time. He wrote up a piece on the WS that easily encapsulates how all the St. Louis fans feel right now.

Take it away, Sean:

St. Louis Jam
by Sean McDevitt

What a downer.

I mean, nobody thought it would go down like this. It should have been a competitive series. It should have been two of baseball’s best towns treating their fans to a grand show. The St. Louis Cardinals aren’t supposed to go quietly into that good night, which is exactly what they are going to do tonight.

The series is as over as Ashlee Simpson’s pop career… as finished as Ron Turner’s coaching career at Illinois… as done as overcooked turkey. I didn’t want the Cards to lose the World Series, and I wasn’t going to be surprised if they got beat in Game 6 or 7, but Game 4 was thoroughly unthinkable.

Cardinal fans are dazed. If I have to see one more group of fans in the stadium with their heads in their hands or with looks best described as shellshock, I’m going to scream. The Cards, in the World Series, are embarrassing themselves in a way that hasn’t happened in Cardinal Nation in a very long time, if ever.

It seems everyone is against the Cards. Fox is pushing Boston in their promos before the game, and St. Louis is treated like an afterthought. Tom Hanks appears on the Green Monster at Fenway begging for Bill Buckner to finally get a decent night’s sleep. Stephen King and Ben Affleck are in Fenway cheering their favorite team on. St. Louis Blues hockey forward Keith Tkachuk showed up in Boston gear at Busch. This must be what it’s like to have been a Boston fan for the last 86 years.

Albert Pujols, Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds are dormant and docile. They have a combined five hits in 33 at-bats (.151) with one RBI. They’re hitless in 11 at-bats with runners in scoring position. Rolen and Edmonds are one for 22, and the hit came on a bunt. And if we include the next batter in the line-up, Reggie Sanders, the 3-4-5-6 spots are five for 42, or .119.

I only have one explanation. No, not the evangelical hand of Babe Ruth or Pedro’s little buddy. Something far more sinister.

Aliens have sucked the talent out of the club.

Some alien culture has been observing baseball and has decided to play the game themselves. They found the best baseball team and using technology so far advanced it is indistinguishable from magic, have absorbed the talent from the Cardinals best players.

There can be no other explanation that is more plausible. I don’t believe in curses or ghosts. But aliens are among us and they’ve stolen Cardinal Nation’s dream for a World Series win.

The only hope for Cardinal fans is Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Loony Tunes gang plus part-time baseball player, Michael Jordan, to pull it together and beat those nasty aliens and return the talent back to the team.

Since I know how well Jordan plays baseball, I’m not too optimistic.

As a neutral observer, I was feeling sorry for all those forlorn looking Cards fans last night. It will be nice to see Boston finally win, as much to end the kvetching as anything else (Cubs next year?), but it’s never fun to watch someone get swept. I was hoping, and still am, to some degree, to see this one go six or seven. And if not, then I hope that St. Louis can get back in and make a much better showing next year. Good luck!

Naw, it isn’t aliens or curses or even bad hitting. Baseball just isn’t that complicated.

The Cards’ hitters are facing the best pitching staff they’ve seen all year, both in the rotation and in the bullpen. Their own pitching is only decent, not great, and on a par with what Boston has seen all year, hell, they *had * Suppan just last year. St. Louis has holes in their batting lineup where Boston doesn’t, and those holes can be exploited.

That’s all the result of Boston being able to afford a much higher payroll. St. Louis is under the curse of being a small market, nothing more.

Aha! Obviously the Cards have been struck by the famous Milwaukee Brewers curse. No team that beats the Brewers in the World Series will ever win the Series again! This one’s for Ben Oglivie!

Unfortunate that the Series seems to be setting up for such a anti-climatic finish, but then again, no one thought the ALCS would be so memorable after the 19-8 Game 3.

Maybe there’s just something about Busch that makes Cardinals not hit in October. Don Denkinger wasn’t the ONLY reason the Royals won in 1985.

As for Suppan last night, he’s always thrown gopher balls. When he was with the Royals, I knew he’d give up two home runs on a good night. While I was originally rooting for the Astros (I wanted to see Carlos Beltran get the ring), given the ex-Royals I’m left to choose between, I’d rather see the ring on Johnny Damon’s finger than on Jeff Suppan’s.

(Of course, I’ll be galled that that means Curtis Leskanic also gets a ring, but nothing in life is perfect (except my wife).)