The Stags of the Straight Dope

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok no membership dues, no secret handshake, no picture required. Marital status not important.

Looks categories are:

1.Devilishly handsome
2.Ruggedly Good looking
3.questionable
4.A face only a mother could love **
5. Downright fucking ugly**

To Apply for Membership in the Stags of the Straight Dope:
Post to this thread. Select a looks catagory above and explain why you would like to be a member of the Stags, and outline your qualifications.

Some of the qualification categories are,

1.Able to scratch your balls in public without anyone noticing.
2. Proficient at passing gas on short notice
3. Have jumped drunk off the high dive at a Holiday Inn pool on vacation and splashed fellow tourists
4. Have screamed out “Who’s your daddy.” At least twice during sex
5. Cigar smoker

If you don’t fit any of these qualifications then fuck it, make up some of your own.

By the way I fit into the devilishly handsome/proficient at passing gas catagory.

2

Dockers are great for #1. Deep pockets.

And I’m “questionable”, most definitely. As for the passing gas category… I like spicy foods, and I love beans. Spicy beans are best. 'Nuff said.

-S

3
  1. Ruggedly good looking

As more than half of the females on this board will attest.
(A Stag brags).

4
  1. Ruggedly good looking

As more than half of the females on this board will attest.
(A Stag brags).

5

Going to nominate my guy, Snark in the Totally Gorgeous/Able to Burp Loud ENough to Scare woodland creatures category.:slight_smile:

6

Devilishly Handsome
It’s true, I am.

wouldn’t know it by looking at me right now, haven’t shaved in a week.

7
  1. Ruggedly good looking.

I once got drunk and went off a high diving board and missed the pool, at least part of me missed.

8

Well I’m either questionably devilish, or downright ruggedly questionable.

Qualifications: Can snag a toppling beer bottle seen out of the corner of my eye while holding a remote control and tossing peanuts at the dog. Also, if left in the middle of the woods with a compass, a knife and one match, I can start a fire to summon help.

9

I wish I could put my thoughts into words here, but they’re too abstract. I realized that after hitting reply.

For qualifications, I am extremely good at barroom jenga (using glasses, ashtrays, salt/pepper shakers and whatever else is on the bar)

10

Strange that so far no one has chosen numbers 4 or 5 in the looks catagory.

11

If anyone cares to help, there’s a more recent pic (and a closeup on the face) at the teeming millions site.

http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/profiles/

12

Devilishly Handsome here.

I play pocket-pool with ease. My remote control has fused to my hand. I can burp the alphabet, and expel gas faster than a pump at Exxon, though usually mine aren’t that wet. I can hit a person with a beer cap from thirty paces with a snap of my finger, and I think that belly button lint and toe jam are funny.

Do I qualify?

13

i just happen to be a ruggedly devilishly handsome kinda guy, and yes, i’ve screamed “who’s your daddy!?” and then some during sex.
ex-cigar smoker.
I am an all out STAG. that’s:
S uch
T he
A mazing
G uy.

:round of applause:

14

1-I have mastered the technique that we call the “Pinch and Roll”, for Testicular itches.

2- I prefer not to, but when called upon, I can belt it out at short notice.

3- Does the luxor count?

4- Many a time…but I added a spanking in there

5- I own 3 Humidors, nuff said?

Did I make it?? :smiley:
-Sam

15

I should fit in the #5 group.
only because when I called my mom to see if she loved me she laughed and hung up the phone.

I believe I should be taken into the Stag club becuase I always freeze in the middle of the road when I spot on coming car headlights.

16

We got a stripper coming over and I just bought a case of bud.

17

Well, I think I belong here, with the Questionable group.

If I’m downgraded to the #4 position, I will gracefully accept the demotion.

If, however, I’m kicked down to #5, I will file a strong letter of protest with Cecil Adams, whom I’ve seen naked. I have his home number. We tawk .
My qualifications are many and varied. I can fix a stove, I can drink 12 beers and eat five-eighths of a large pizza in one go, I often borrow the neighbours tools and fail to return them and I fart in church.

In addition, I am adept at killing small rodents and making little girls cry.

18

I know you women hags are peeking in here to see what is going on. Just keep on looking…You could be in for a shock.

19

I fit the desciption and the qualifications. As you all know after seeing the SMDB Men Pages (courtesy of our lovely TechChick!), I’m in the Devilishly Handsome category.

I want to add a few new qualifications:
6. Yells and gestures at every other traffic participant.
7. Picks nose in traffic.
8. Scratches balls first thing in the morning, no matter WHO is watching.
9. Likes 80’s Big Hair Bands.
10. Thinks the “Guy Stuff” Thread is the latest translation of the Old Testament.

20

SSSSSSSShhhhhhhhh… Hey girls… they think that we are peeking…