The Hags of the Straight Dope

In a recent thread, a poster stated the following:

Now, I am not sure which ladies this poster was referring to as “hags,” but I was obviously one of them. Upon reviewing the thread, I realized that that I was in very good company. If the ladies who posted are hags, then to be called a hag must be a very high compliment, indeed.

So, I hereby found The Hags of the Straight Dope, a club devoted to the original Hags of that thread, and any certified Hags who wish to join.

I, of course, am the Founder/President/CEO of The Hags of the Straight Dope

The Hags are divided into four main categories:
The Gorgeous
The Beautiful
The Cute
The Sexy

There are three additional categories:
The Uncategorized for those Hags who are full members, but must wait until I see a picture before I can categorize them.
The Boy’s Auxiliary for male Hags.
The Pending for posters so new to the board that they can not yet be granted full membership in the Hags. The Pending must go through the application process (see below) in order to be considered full members, but once they are accepted, they will have “Original Hag” status.

To Apply for Membership in the Hags of the Straight Dope:
Post to this thread. Explain why you would like to be a member of the Hags, and outline your qualifications. For you to become a certified Hag, I must see a picture of you. Either post a link, or email me privately with a link or a picture. Any information you send to me privately will remain confidential.
If you wish to forfeit your membership post to this thread or email me privately, and I will take your name off the membership list.

(I apologize in advance for any misspellings or miscapitalizations of usernames)
“OH” designates an “Original Hag”

Founder/President/CEO: Green Bean OH

The Gorgeous:
SwimmingRiddles OH
aenea OH
Drain Bead OH

The Beautiful
blueslady OH
CanadianSue OH
Nacho4Sara OH
SaxFace OH
Ruffian OH
h_thur OH

The Cute
Green Bean OH
phouka OH
mega the roo OH
pepperlandgirl OH

The Sexy
Elthia OH
peaches8 OH

The Uncategorized
ultress OH
dragonlady OH
purplebear OH
Rachelle OH
Shirley Ujest OH
Girlbysea OH
TVeblen OH
learae OH

The Boy’s Auxiliary
SingleDad OH
weirddave OH

The Pending
AmyJohn OH
single files OH
jesjam901 OH
Turpentine OH

HEY, what about me?

See picture for proper catagory listing :slight_smile:

All I’m interested in is …who are the Sluts of the Straight Dope

Dear Green Bean,

I am becoming interested in joining the boys auxilary category of your organization. Were I to become a member, what should I expect from you the organization and what do you expect from me? What are the perks and privleges of membership? Thank you for your time and consideration.


P.S. I can provide a picture, be that a prerequisate.

**The Uncategorized ** works for me.

Oh my! Sorry techchick! You were written right there on the paper, and I somehow missed you!


The Gorgeous:
SwimmingRiddles OH
aenea OH
Drain Bead OH
techchick68 OH

Ok Green Bean, I tried to send my pic to you email but you didn’t get it. Do we have another alternative on sending it to you?

I blush…me in THAT catagory? WOW, I am honored!

hey concrete, I can be your slut if you’d like. I just can’t smoke you though…it’s hazardous to my health.

From me, you can expect active and unbiased administration of the club.

From the Hags, you can expect to be surrounded by a bevy of beauties.

From you, we expect support, respect, and admiration.

Ultress, you are a founding member. (This is different than an Original Hag) Thus, you are free to categorize yourself.

For the record, the founding members are me, ultress, CanadianSue, and blueslady.

Ok Green, maybe you should change the OH for the four founders to the FM for founding members.

Congrats Hags! I’d like to help you all celebrate by inviting you over to my place where you’ll be welcome to cook Swedish meatballs for me and then take turns shaving my back.

This is quite an honor. I am pleased to join SingleDad as the two OH boys auxiliary members. Does this mean that I am considered “one of the hags”? If so, can I hang out with y’all in the locker room and shower? ( I promise to be unobtrusive at first, but I have a feeling my…um…interest…would grow…:D) Thank you for accepting me. I will do my best to be worthy of this great responsibility.

What am I, chopped liver?

To be included as a founding member (Green Been says I’m blush beautiful!) In such distinguished company…I can only say I am honored.

::::hugs Wally:::::

You can join me on the Gorgeous catagory as my date :wink:

Wally, you ain’t chopped liver, and you also ain’t an Original Hag. You want in, you submit your application jsut like everyone else.

Ultress FM has been switched from Uncategorized to The Beautiful.

Single files OH has been accepted into full membership in the category The Gorgeous.

I posted in that thread! But I don’t fit into any of the categories – I may have been “cute” at some point in my life, but at 55, the term no longer applies. Heck, most days, I’d settle for “presentable.” Or “vaguely human-looking.”

Can I be Hag Emeritus?

Sorry for the oversight, AuntiePam! How did I miss so many?

I’ll be the judge of what kind of Hag you are. Ante up the picture!

Hey hey hey, I can tell from your posts Auntie that you are definitely still in at least the ‘cute’ category, but I think you belong in the ‘beautiful’ category.