So, I’ve decided that I need a gay. A nice, close, friendly, supportive relationship with a man that likes to go shopping, out dancing, dishing, and generally having a good time, with no sexual tension or awkwardness whatsover. What’s not to like, honey? It’s all the rage these days- singers have 'em, Real Housewives have 'em, some of my friends have 'em. I want one.
Some of my favorite gays are Tim Gunn and Andy Cohen. I think they’re both fabulous and awesome, so I’d want my gay to be like either of them, if possible.
As it is, I don’t really know any gays. I used to, and yes, they were fabulous, unless they weren’t, but as I get older my social circle is getting smaller, and I find myself with a dearth of gays in my life, and so very little choice within the gays that I already know.
So I would have to go out for my gay. I guess the obvious choice would be to go dancing at gay clubs and cast a wide net, hoping to snare a gay just because of the sheer volume. Where else can I find a gay to be mine? My hairdresser’s place has a gay, but he’s kind of pissy and I do not care for a pissy gay. My taste goes more towards happy gays. Craigslist? Do they have a category for that? What to do, what to do? Any Arizona Doper gays wanna hang out?
Be socially responsible - get a fully grown gay from a rescue center. A cute, playful twink is sure to get adopted, so consider that older gay man who’s been a place or two. And, please, think of the gay population - have your gay spayed or neutered.
If you lived in the area, I’d send you one of mine. I’ve started a collection of stray gays and half-gays in the past year. I fed them and they just sort of stuck around. Of course, all mine are puppies (they’ll be fabulous one day though. I can’t wait to see them all grown up!).
Yes, in the"Strictly Platonic; W4M" section of Craigslist you will find ads for GBFF’s, similar in tone to the straight W4M as well as the OP: “I want this, this, this, and that.”
What is never considered is what you offer in return. I guess your gay friend can pretend he’s a real woman while he’s hanging with you, since that’s what those queers really want. Or he can come crying to you as the only one in this cruel world who can accept him, when he gets beaten up cruising the bus station or when his married boyfriend dumps him.
I apologize if I’m the whooshed, threadshitting goat here, but if I’m not please accept my condolences that Stonewall fucked it all up for women like the OP.
Or hey you know, you could cultivate friendships based on things you have in common with people, instead of one trait that doesn’t even necessarily mean they will be into all the things you listed in your OP. (You know that not all gay men are into fashion and dancing and all that other bullshit, right? Right?)
I know it’s trendy and considered cute for straight women to fetishize gay men like the OP is doing here, but just because you see it on Bravo TV doesn’t make it any less gross.
