Well, gee, thanks! It’s nice to be included so early in the game! Is there a catagory for the middle aged, overweight, housewife types???
::twirls madly, knocks over floor lamp::
I’m accepted in a club! Yes, I’m a HAG! Thankyouthankyou, I will strive to do honor to the group.
I can live w/ being uncategorized. And if I can keep dodging cameras at the ChiDope blast next week, it’ll stay that way. Let’s just say Pluto is perfidious, lying skunk. So my nick is a dead, weird male economist. I do NOT have a beart.
If AuntiePam can be Hag Emeritus, can I be Stealth Hag OH?
Oh, and we really, really need to let Wally in the group. Do the Hags allow inclusion by affirmation? He can do some great stuff for us in terms of punchy tags and applied attitude.
THANKS, guys!
Veb
Ok, I’ll join your little club. 
Green Bean, you tell me what kind of hag I am. My picture is on the main page of my homepage.
Well, Hags, Hag wannabees, and sightseers, I am off for a night of revelry and zydeco. Administrative stuff will have to wait until the morning.
Here is the revised membership list. Please let me know if I have made any errors.
MEMBERSHIP LIST OF THE HAGS OF THE STRAIGHT DOPE Revised 8:30 pm, May 13, 2000
(I apologize in advance for any misspellings or miscapitalizations of usernames)
“FM” designates a founding member.
“OH” designates an “Original Hag”
Founder/President/CEO: Green Bean FM
The Gorgeous:
techchick68 OH
SwimmingRiddles OH
aenea OH
Drain Bead OH
single files OH
The Beautiful
blueslady FM
CanadianSue FM
ultress FM
Nacho4Sara OH
SaxFace OH
Ruffian OH
h_thur OH
The Cute
Green Bean FM
phouka OH
mega the roo OH
pepperlandgirl OH
The Sexy
Elthia OH
peaches8 OH
The Uncategorized
dragonlady OH
purplebear OH
Rachelle OH
Shirley Ujest OH
Girlbysea OH
TVeblen OH
learae OH
AuntiePam OH
The Boy’s Auxiliary
SingleDad OH
weirddave OH
The Pending
AmyJohn OH
jesjam901 OH
Turpentine OH
Oh, sheesh, the “preview” function is enabled and how much did it help…?
Uh, I do not have a “beart”. I don’t have a BEARD either.
Slinking off,
Veb
(P.S. Thanks for a hoot of concept, GreenBean! Dare we hope for a Hag Stuff thread soon?)
I would like to apply for membership to this club.
Why would I like to be a member? I dunno exactly I figured I might meet some interesting people this way.
Qualifications?
What exactly are those? It would be easier if you gave a list of what you need to have/do/be like to qualify then I could just click them off or something. I never was good at outlining my qualifications.
Picture is here http://www.angelfire.com/ia/RC/RC.html Um not a very good one. (I really need a scanner so I can put up at least a decent pic. That weekend was a retreat and I wasn’t exactly in top form)
Dear Madam President Green Bean,
I submit for your consideration, the following…
Although I did not participate in the original topic, I did, unfortunately attempt to offer kind words and advice in this topic. I even said “Stick around and have some fun!” Now, I wasn’t called a hag, but my advice was rebuffed in the following manner…
That’s it. That’s all he had to say to (about) me. After all the effort I went to to make him feel more comfortable here. Putz.
Therefore, I do believe I meet the necessary qualifications for membership. (I’m just embarrassed that, for the first time ever, I actually fed a troll. I feel so… so… dirty.)
I do believe you’ve seen my picture. It’s linked in the thread by aha about Jewish girls and also in the busty redheads thread.
Thank you very much for your consideration.
Most Sincerely,
Shayna the Hopeful Hag
Dear Miz Prez,
I too would like to be a Straight Dope Hag.
From “The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets”:
HAG- Originally “Holy Woman,” the Hag was a cognate of Egyptian “heq”, a predynastic matriarchal ruler who knew the words of power, or “hekau”. In Greek she became Hecate, the Crone or Hag as queen of the dead, incarnate on earth in a series of wise women or high priestesses.
Hebrew “wisdom” in Proverbs 8 is “Hokhmah”, from Egyptian “heq-maa”, the underworld Mother of wisdom, law, and words of power. Greek and Roman cognate “hagia” meant holy, especially as applied to the principle of female wisdom, Hagia Sophia.
Though “hagiology” still means the study of holy matters and saints, the root word “hag” declined in its meanings. Shakespeare’s verb “hagged” meant to be bewitched. His noun “haggard” meant a hawk, a harpy, or an intractable woman.
I can’t say how this applies to my own self, except for the intractable part. But I live in a cabin in the woods in an unlikely place, have a great deal of knowledge of herbal medicine, keep goats, and have unruly red hair, and shoot my mouth off too often. I 'm definitely an aspiring hag!
I humbly apply for Hagship in the Boy’s Auxilliary.
My picture:
http://members.macconnect.com/~jonkleinow/medadcar.html
Oh, and as for why? I’m a cynical teenager. What more do you need?
I am honored to be classified as a cute hag. Thank you! Imagine my surprise when I saw my name already on the list, classified and everything! Again, thank you =)
I would like to become an official Hag.
Thank you
Rose
You got my vote!
Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be a hag!
I’d also like to read the original thread. Where is it?
My picture is linked in my sig. It’s a picture of me happily posing with a slain Peep. What kind of hag does that make me?
Hey, I wanna be a Hag too!
Of the “Boys’ Auxiliary” kind, that is.
Will provide backrubs and footrubs to female Hags of all categories upon request.
Green Bean–I’m stupid and don’t know how to get my picture online, so I’ll send you mine so I can be categorized. . . although it’s a kinda old picture, from a year and a half ago. My hair’s really short now.
Here’s the essay part of my application --I’m 19 years old and I’m already a crazy cat woman. I take in strays (I go to a freewheelin’ college, so people are always dropping off animals–I’m transferring next year, but that’s another story) and I’ve named all the cats after a guy I dated in high school who cheated on me. I think that’s hag-ish enough.
I wasn’t in the OP, but can I join? I can be a hag with the best of them, just ask anyone.
Since I am in the older poster category, does that mean I can be an old hag?
Here is a page from my website. I decided to do some remodeling so most of my site is dicked-up. If you try to go beyond this page you will probably lock up.
http://hometown.aol.com/kitten8808/myhomepagepics.html
Be patient. It will eventually load.
Well you women have made Cecil’s job easier. He was wondering where he was going to find a group of hags he could survey about why ugly women all tend to go on the rag at the same time.
Hi Hags! Unfortunately, the atrocious weather has interfered with my evening plans. So, here I am.
Let’s get some administrative work done:
We need a new designation. If the Founding Members are FM, the Original Hags are OH, then the new Certified Hags shall be CH.
TopazAntares CH: The “qualifications” were left deliberately vague. Each Hag has something different to bring to the group, you see. I have reviewed your home page, and you certainly qualify for full membership in The Hags. Yup, that picture of you is not good, but with my amazing powers of deduction, I have determined that you are cute. Therefore, TopazAntares CH shall be categorized in The Cute.
Shayna CH: The Hags were honored to recieve your application. You are enthusiastically accepted as a full member. Shayna CH shall be categorized as The Sexy
elelle CH: Thank you so much for the history of Hags. I am deeply impressed. I humbly invite you to be a full member of the Hags. Since I have not seen a photo, for the time being, elelle CH shall be in the esteemed company of The Uncategorized.
SanibelMan CH: Since you are one of the few posters on this board who is actually a boy, we would be proud to have you in The Boys’ Auxiliary Sanibel Man CH, you have full membership privileges. Now do you think you could get your dad to sign up? 
Blue Twylight CH: I received your application, but noticed no statement of qualifications. But, since you were so darn much fun at the NYC Doperfest, I’ll let it slide. Blue Twylight CH, you shall be a full member in the category The Beautiful.
I just re-checked the thread and noticed some more applications. I will post this, and then get to the others…
Yeah, lswote? And your point would be…?