Lost: Insufferable know-it-all-ness and general insolence.
Found: General Questions.
Lost: A desire to vandalize the computers of others.
Found: The GNU Project and a love of hacking.
Lost: a new pair of sunlasses in the Hotel Gouveneur in Montreal (spellings probably a bit off, i’m rubbish with French), last seen on top of my suitcase by the door. Probably now in the corner by the drawers. Also, one ring on my school field, was dropped and blown away by the wind.
Lost: My AmEx card that I put away a couple of months ago “so I wouldn’t lose it.”
Lost: A pair of pants I had torn the hem out of to re-hem for Papa Tiger, last seen in our den circa 2001.
Found: My LOTR songbook from 1965 that I can still sing all the songs from (including the ones in Elvish).
Found: A copy of The Silmarillion I don’t remember ever buying. Did I steal it from you, Laughing Lagomorph?
Dunno. Have you ever been to Buffalo?
This is too strange. That Peter the Great book sure seems to get around.
Lost: Three remote controls. Last seen in possession of small, curious child.
Found: Said remotes. Hidden in Dad’s boots.
Robin
Found: Peter the Great. Hiding in my closet.
There HAVE been rumors about him and some of his young male aides…
Lost: Childhood stuffed toys.
Found: Lots of dirt everywhere.
Lost about seven pair of sunglasses since I’ve had Lasik. (Strangely enough, I’ve never lost or broken prescription glasses ever.)
Found Twenty extra pounds.
Lost: A class ring, 1971, aquamarine stone, initials VHS, in a house in Manchester TN
LOST : My JOB
FOUND : Benefits for the Unemployed.
Lost (probably stolen): A really cute, really small leather purse, big enough to hold a few credit cards, a driver’s license, a small Bic lighter, and a couple of bucks (if I ever had any, which I never did, but still). May have contained love letter from then-boyfriend (now husband). Last seen on Cape Cod, early July 1996. Bought on high school study trip to Greece for about $4. Extreme sentimental value. If found, please return (and kick the snot out of the bitch who stole it!!).
Found: One cat, male, approximately age 4, neutered and declawed when he appeared on our doorstep. Brown tiger with unbelievable green eyes. Very affectionate, vocal, and perpetually hungry. Answers to the names “Owen,” “O-Bert,” and “Monk-u-bus.” Does a mighty convincing imitation of The Blob at bedtime. WILL NOT BE RETURNED TO ORIGINAL OWNER. We have given him a good home. But, we thought you’d like to know that, if he used to belong to you.
Lost: In the supermarket
Found: I can no longer shop happily.
Found: One gold and silver Ladie’s watch on the ocean floor off the coast of Bonaire. Still running and in great condition. Found many years ago, unfortunately.
Lost: A diamond/gold/ruby ring valued at approx. $30,000.
OK, I didn’t really lose a ring like that, but if anyone has one they want to send me, let me know.
Found: several idiot coworkers
Lost: my sanity
Lost/stolen: One Hyroshemus (sp) Bosch art book published between 1977 and 1980. This was a huge thick book with literally hundreds of photos of details of his works. If you ever see one buy, it I’ll pay you back.
Found: Keys, cell phone lost in Sawgrass, Florida
Lost: Once sense of corporate loyalty. Last seen at the meeting where the CEO announced that the company would be cutting loose 500 workers (with emphasis on IT) “because our expenses are too high”.
Found: An even higher sense of cynicism than I had before.
Found: One half-starved calico kitten in an Indianapolis east-side apartment complex parking lot 3 years ago. We’re not giving her back either.
I don’t know about you, GQ, but to me it sounds like you’ve been accused of being … you know … young.
Lost: 1 Sega Genesis and around a dozen games. I may have loaned it to somebody. If you’re somebody, please return it.
Found: Small cloth child’s coin purse with red drawstrings, containing 2 one-dollar bills and a bunch of pennies, in a fireworks tent in the Wal-Mart parking lot in Lincoln, Nebraska, on July 3, 1998. Purse was left behind when the tent collapsed (it was breezy that day). It has moved twice with me and I would love to return it to its rightful owner.
Lost:
An original paperback copy of the great illustrated ecotopian novel, YV88, somewhere in Southern Ontario.
Found:
Ten extra kilos of body fat, currently inhabiting my waist.