sari know what would make you happy? Volunteerin’ to start us off tomorrow would make you happy. Think of the fame. Think of the fortune. Think of the fact that no matter what you do for an OP it will get hijacked to heck and back within twenty posts! 
Ladies and Gentlemen, (Swampy, I use the term loosely) I would like you opinion before I send this email.
Dear Mrs. Plant (v.3.0),
I am very glad that you are returning Monday evening after being gone for the weekend.
I miss you terribly.
I thought of cleaning up as I go along, or engaging in a frantic last minute effort.
It was decided to wait upon your return; after all, you Know Where Everything Is, and Where Everything goes.
I know that you will not be upset that I used the chainsaw inside the house, or that we…er, I took the leather couch outside where it became rained on.
Your Loving Husband,
Carnivorousplant.
MMPer comments are very welcome.
Here lies flytrap. He sent an email to his wife.
I shall protest posthumously that you did not capitalize the “W”.
I just got the strangest email from somebody named Mrs. Plant (v.3.0) inquirin’ as to where she might obtain a box of pointy stick wieldin’ Sri Lankan Spiders as a gift for her husband. I wonder if he is an arachnophile.
This is not going as well as I thought…
(((((Taters)))))
I shall catch up with all of you tomorrow. *** MWAH!!***
It’s probably an omen.
I used to know a girl named Omen. I believe that she was Greek.
If she was named Omen and was Greek I bet she was also just tragic.
Think I shall go lie upon the bed and watch me some teevee until sleepy time.
Nitey Nite Y’all! See ya in the new MMP!
My turn again? So soon?
Ok it’s a dirty job but somebody has got to do it.
For MMP, does SDMB use GMT or the int’l date line. I mean it *is *Monday already in some places.
Just saying. 
How did you know?
I, Carnivorousplant, being of sound body and reasonably sound mind, do hereby leave my CDs to Emily, and my DVDs to Rosie, the Cute One.
I sure hope that Monday goes well.
Ya know
Back in the days when my mother did not have a bf
my mother without a bf is a sad sad sight to behold. She is one of those women who thinks you are nothing if you don’t have a man.
Anyway, when momma is alone momma is not happy and as the saying goes when momma is not happy ain’t nobody allowed to be happy.
So she’d go on her little trips and whenever she came home she’d look and look until she found something to bitch about.
So I devised a plan that I would always leave something or her to bitch about. A dirty dish in the sink, forget to bring the trashcan in, some small thing for her to find.
This served two purposes, by leaving her something I knew she would find she wouldn’t catch me off guard with something I had really missed.
The main reason though, as mad as she would get about something left undone, it was no where near the rage she felt at finding out we all got along just fine without her.
So Flytrap may be on to something there.
Then again Swampy could make a killing on the spiders
Now wait a minute.
Are you saying we’re going to have hot monkey sex when she returns, or like everyone else that I am a Dead Man?
Flytrap Mrs. Plant 3.0 will not mind in the slightest, you OTOH might need to get accustomed to sleeping on said sofa in its current location for a fortnight or so.
In irk news I have just four more bands on my stage and then I can see escape to the bar. That makes the band onstage appx number 70, Fernet Branca take me away.
See you kiddos am Montag
Jim
Technically the SDMB uses -5 GMT but we Mumpers, being the accommodating sort of group, recognize that our neighbors to the East are running a bit ahead and allow them(and anyone else for that matter) to start the MMP on their particular Monday morning. Heck we often start on Sunday night on this side of the pond.
Fire away, if you are so inclined
Jim
You either really want to sleep on the sofa or you have a death wish. 
What does it mean, “fortnight”?