Much love & prayers for you & your Dad, Soapy ((((HUGS))))))
Woo! I been groped!
Mooooooom, I wouldn’t worry about it. The schools take care of the Moms because the Dads tend to forget. Moms on the other hand, pretty much have Father’s day well in hand.
Got to take the boyo to the vet this afternoon. He’s way overdue for his shots & we’re thinking about getting another kitty!
Bud Light for everybody!!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I love that my credit union has a scan-to-deposit function on their website. We got a check today from the Electric Co-op we belonged to in Florida - our capital credits refund for one of the years we were members. It’s a whopping $30.62! Woohoo! Party time!! 
Our credit union is in Florida and we see no reason to change, especially now that I can scan and deposit rather than mailing checks. Oh yeah, we do have a credit union in Dahlgren, but since I don’t work there any longer, it’s almost as inconvenient as the FL offices. It might be time to close those accounts and join one in our county…
I just finished seeding and feeding the front soon-to-be-lawn. I’ve got the sprinkler on now, and I’ll have to reposition it at least 2 more times today to cover all the area. I think I’ll run some errands tomorrow and buy a sprinkler that’ll cover a larger area. I’m supposed to keep the seeds/seedlings moist for a couple of weeks and I can’t count on Mother Nature. Plus I need a few grocery items, so I’ll do it all tomorrow.
The mail also brought me a coupon for 2 meals at Cracker Barrel and an apology for the crappy service we had there last week. I’ll give them a couple of weeks to get their act together, then go back and see what’s up. I don’t hold out a lot of hope, tho - service there has been erratic since they first opened. Since I’ve never worked in the restaurant industry, I don’t know how easy it is to fix, but I can’t see it as being particularly difficult.
Time to chill for a bit. I deserve it - I’ve gotten a lot done so far today. Go me!
{{{{{soapy}}}}}
{{{Soapy}}} Your dad, you and the whole family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs for soapy, love to everyone else.
Me? I’m . . . uh . . . where to begin?
I’m okay, except for the twitching. (That’ll go away, right?)
A week ago, if you’d asked me if my dad’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s was accurate, I’d have told you I really thought it was multi-infarc or vascular dementia, caused by multiple tiny strokes over the years. But, his doctor gave him that label, and Mom and I were content with it, because it opens up support groups and such to us. It’s also a lot easier for people to understand. Everyone’s heard of Alzheimer’s.
Now? It’s like Alzheimer’s heard its name called, grabbed its stuff, moved in, and set up shop. All in the last five days. It’s gone from me having to talk my dad around to taking his medicines to him hissing at me that he doesn’t want anything from me ever again. He won’t cooperate with me if I ask to take his blood pressure. He would glare at me with hatred I’ve never seen on his face. He would refuse to talk to me. He’s started wandering at night.
He has demanded his car keys back, and when Mom won’t hand them over, he threatens divorce. (What competent, ethical lawyer would take his case, I don’t know, but that’s not the point.) He’s furious with me, because I won’t tell him where the car keys are. He’s furious with his doctor for saying he can’t drive anymore. He’s says he’s going to appeal the decision, but realistically? He can barely dial a phone number he knows well, let alone figure out how to look one up.
Then, the paranoia started. He lost his wallet yesterday. Happens all the time. Except this time, he was sure I’d taken it (mind you, he lost it while he was out for lunch, and I was home at the time). Blamed me. Blamed Mom (who was 90 miles away all day long). I made the mistake of leaving my purse downstairs, and at some point, he rifled through it. I should be glad he didn’t take anything. He also ripped down a dry erase board I’d put on the door to show if each of us was “in” or “out” of the house.
Mmmph.
This morning made the second time he barricaded himself in his room. Only thing is, he forgot to lock the bathroom door, so instead of calling the police this time, my brother was able to go in and get him to take his morning medication. But we didn’t have to call the cops.
Mmmph.
Later this morning, apparently still convinced that I had taken his wallet, he told me I was no longer welcome in his home. I started to argue with him - it’s not just his home, and no, he can’t just throw me out - but my brother wisely told me to shut up. Arguing does not help.
Mmmmph.
I ran errands, taking a set of house keys with me, just to be on the safe side. I even stopped at the two restaurants bro and Dad had gone the previous day to see if anyone had turned in his wallet. When I got back, Dad had locked the door on me. When I unlocked the door, opened it, and came in, he told me I was housebreaking.
Mmmph.
Half an hour later, he came upstairs to tell me AND my brother that if we weren’t out by the morning, he would call the police.
Mmm - oh, hell. My father’s crazy-insane in a bad way.
An hour later, he comes up and asks me and bro to have a conversation with him. We agree. Without coming right out and saying it, he makes it clear that he’s going to divorce our mom. Because of his integrity. (Integrity = car keys)
BTW, Mom’s at the lawyer’s right now to discuss options in dealing with Dad’s dementia. So I called her and gave her a head’s up. She sounded very tired.
I’ve canceled two appointments today, handed off one of my remaining three students because I just can’t deal with the emotional demand she poses, and I don’t know if it’s safe for me to leave the house or go downstairs, because Dad could go back to vicious, raging asshole at the drop of a hat. Any hat. Anywhere on Earth.
It’s kind of comforting that anyone I relate this stuff to gets either a horrified expression or tone of voice and say “that’s awful.” I keep thinking someone with a clipboard is going to walk in and say “this concludes your experience of the Familial Kobiashi-Maru test. You will receive your results in 4-6 weeks.” At which point, I can kill that person with a spoon. No jury in the world would convict me.
I want a plan. I need a checklist of things, or a flowchart, or something, so I can plug in “Dad, Crazy (Behavior #3, see: raging asshole lunatic)” and get back a viable response to use. Instead, every time I think I have an approach figured out, another part of his brain goes pear-shaped, and I feel like I’ve had a grenade go off in my hand.
So, I’m going to go start a thread asking for advice, help, commiseration, and experience in dealing with aggressive dementia. I’m tired of poisoning this thread. I want happiness and unicorns and rainbows in this thread, not the shit my dad keeps throwing at me.
Go ahead and start the other thread - but you know ALL of us will be right over there too…
I did the story on my friend with cancer today, it will air around 5:30. When they post it online I will link to it.
In the spirit of the MMP I worked it into my story. Here’s my script. Note the end…
(Bite under slow push in to picture)
“Pete is an awesome guy. He means the world to all of us. And he gives back a lot to everybody.”
Pete Feltham is a lucky man.
“He does things for me all the time. And he’s wonderful! (crying)”
However many would say he’s not so lucky. While on a trip out West last Thanksgiving with his family, Pete was diagnosed with colon cancer. Pete went in the hospital last Monday for surgery. Gail Brander, Pete’s mother-in-law, got busy
“We decided we wanted it all redone for him when he came home from the hospital so he would have a nice place to be.”
Gail Brander, Mother In Law, 0:27 – 0:32
Gail secretly contacted almost a dozen of Pete’s friends who got busy fixing up his basement.
“He knows nothing about this.”
Five days later Pete arrived home a little early –
(nats horn / car arriving)
And very surprised.
“Can I get a kiss”
(walks into house)
“I had your family room done for you.”
“Damn. Who did this all?”
“Me”
“You did this?”
“Me and Paul and Will and (laughter)”
“My friends really kicked butt on this.I don’t know how, I don’t think there’s words to express it. People I havn’t seen or heard from for years.”
Pete Feltham, Surprised Patient, 1:02 - 1:09
“I’m so excited, it’s unbelieveable. The generosity of the community and the family and just how much we’re loved and been supported through all this because it has been a difficult road.”
Nikki Feltham, Surprised Wife, 1:12 -1:20
It may have been luck that allowed Gail and Pete’s friends to pull off the surprise, but there was no luck involved when it comes to the gift. That is love, and the chances of that happening were one hundred percent. In Frederick, Kurt Brooks, Nine News Now
That’s beautiful, giggity.
Well, pooh! It was nearly 5:45 when I saw this post so I missed the story. Can’t wait to see the clip!
{{{{{{{{SOAPY}}}}}}}}; keeping your family in my prayers.
2Gig, you do some beautiful work; I am looking forward to seeing this clip.
Much love to everyone. 
{{soapy}}
{{phouka}}
Monday work day is over with thank goodness.
mr ems kids were deposited back successfully at the appropriate addresses on Saturday. Then we came home yesterday. I need to go to the grocery sto’ on the way home as we have…well not much in the house food wise.
I tell mr ems I love him everyday before he goes to work and when he gets home. And I love allayoos to!
Later peeps!
{{{{phouka}}}}
If there’s anything I’m grateful for, it’s that my mom didn’t get hostile when she got Alzheimer’s. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through and I’ve been through it.
Don’t close it yet. Some CUs use “shared branches”, essentially a branch multiplier network; walk into one CU & you can make a deposit at your CU, even if it’s in another state.
phouka, all of that is awful. I’m so sorry.
Made it through the workday, and it was awful, but I’m home now.
I don’t have much else to report; just another day.
Oh, Soapy, I’m so sorry. Lots of hugs.
And Harvey, lots of hugs and anti-stress vibes for you. And vent here or in the other thread (or in both).
I have to say, it is amazing to have a community of imaginary friends who are so supportive and entertaining and nice and smart and… So, great OP, Pearl.
Sounds like a great story, tugig. And, yes, right on-topic.
Hang in there, Taters.
Gotta second Spidey’s wait a minnit on the CU thing, FCM. I belong to a CU in Michigan and one in town, but I only go to the branch that is around the corner from me that belongs to a whole 'nother CU. Shared branching is the best thing evar.
{{{kanga}}} like spaz said, I’m greatful my dad never got quite that bad with his Alzheimer’s. Go ahead and start the other thread but don’t feel like you can’t come in here and vent, cause, of course you can come in here and vent.
giggity can’t wait to see that clip. Ya done good!
Home from men’s night at the church house. We get there and discover that there was some left over corned beef from Sattidy so Ruben’s were bein’ made. NUM!!! Thus there are two steaks for tomorrow night’s dindin. I think steak and some friggin’ good N.O.T. will be just the thing for a Tuesday dindin.
{{{{{{Phouka}}}}}}, I can’t imagine how you will keep your cool in your situation, but you will survive.
{{{{{{{Soapy}}}}}}, I’m sorry about your dad.
To all the rest of youse guys, I loves ya’.
As much as I’m able.
Swampy, it’s probably a good thing I don’t live anywhere near you. I’d weigh 300 pounds!
{{{{{Soapy}}}}}
{{{{{Kanga}}}}}
Worked, then did cheap Mexican for dinner.
4 in the morning. I need to go to bed. Grr.
I hate it when you find a new show and you just have to keep watching episodes.
For the record the BBC series Doc Martin is one of the funniest things I’ve watched in ages, and they have all the episodes on Hulu. Well there goes my week.