janis_and_c0, your joke about the boy and his bike really made me laugh. 
Ten minutes later, I still can’t drink my tea I’m laughing so hard. LOLOLOLOLOLOL 
I doff m’hat!
Cheers Burpo 
Couple of other random ones.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
What has four legs and one arm?
A happy pit bull.
Why didn’t Cuba have a team in the Olympics?
Because, any Cuban that can run, jump, or swim already lives in America.
And to round out some of the baby jokes just to really lower the tone:
How do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
with a blender
how do you get them out?
corn chips
How do you make a baby float?
one glass of root beer and 2 scoops of baby
Thank you, when I said I wanted to be a comedian people laughed at me. Well, no one is laughing now.
My post from the older thread Once more with feeling- TRULY AWFUL JOKES!!!:
One day in the Vatican, a cardinal ran up to another cardinal and said, “I just had the greatest idea! Even better than the Virgin Birth!”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
“Joshua, son of Nun!”
“I don’t get it.”
The first cardinal then realized they were speaking in Italian, where the pun doesn’t work.
I just got done reading a book about Stockholm Syndrome. At first I really didn’t like it, but by the end I thought it was GREAT!
When does Helen Keller call it a bad day?
When she burns her tongue on a hot slice of pizza, and can’t taste, either.
How did they find Helen Keller when she fell down the well?
She screamed her hands off.
And the related
“Why did Billie Jean King give up tennis?”
There wasn’t a woman out there she hadn’t licked
Where does Penn State hold its football camp?
the DuBois campus
Why did Penn State name its home field Beaver Stadium?
If they had called it “Bending-Little-Boys-Over-In-The-Shower Stadium” even Joe-Pa would have known something was wrong
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey.”
The horse says “Sure.”
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.
What is brown, smelly and sits on a piano stool?
Beethoven’s First Movement
From email just now:
TWO CATHOLIC PARROTS
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,
‘Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing.’
‘What do they say?’ the priest asked.
They say, ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’
‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment…‘You know,’ he said, ‘I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible…
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.’
‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution.’
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house…
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying…
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them…
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’
There was stunned silence…Shocked, one male parrot looked over at
the other male parrot and says,
‘Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!’
It may be the worst joke, but it still made me laugh.
J.
My two favorite Helen Keller jokes:
Q: Why can’t Helen Keller have babies?
A: Because she’s dead
Q: Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?
A: Because she’s a woman
How did Helen Keller burn her face?
Trying to answer the iron
I’m not sure this joke still works with today’s technology.
Why does Helen Keller only use her left hand to masturbate?
Because she can moan better right handed
Are these jokes popular throughout the state, or more just among rivals to Texas A&M?
My girlfriend just broke up with me… she wanted more time to focus on her hobby… she’s into astronomy… said she needs space.
I lived all over Texas, in small and large cities, and I heard Aggie jokes everywhere. I don’t recall them being told out of meanness or true derision - more to poke fun. My best source was my ex-father-in-law, who loved them. He was raised in Dallas and went to college out-of-state, so in his case rivalry had nothing to do with it.
I think most Texans recognize A&M as an excellent school, especially their College of Veterinary Medicine.
One more…
What’s charred, black and smokes?
Aggie electrician
Do you have any IDEA how many Catholics you just offended?