Missed the edit: This may be it.
Ruin a joke
06-22-2005
I suppose you could turn this into an Aggie joke.
A City Woman was driving in hillbilly country when her car broke down. A couple of country fellows said they could fix her car – but she’d have to have sex with them both. She really wanted to be on her way, so she agreed. She told the guys, ‘But you have to wear these,’ she pulled a couple of condoms out of her purse, ‘so that I don’t get pregnant.’ The hillbillies said that would be all right. They had sex, and they fixed her car. The next day the men were sitting on their porch. ‘Hey Zed?’ ‘Yeah, Ned.’ ‘Do you really care if that city woman gets pregnant?’ ‘Naw.’ ‘So why don’t we take these things off?’
Did you hear the watermelon joke?
It’s pitful.
That was a peach of a joke!
I know a good watermelon joke, but it’s kind of seedy.
I’ve got some more terrible ones:
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? A hairnet.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road? Because the second hand store was across the street.
How do you know the Invisible Man has no children? *Because he’s not apparent. *
What do you have if you have three Hispanics, one Chinese person, and four black people on your front lawn?
A water sprinkler.
Spic, Spic, Spic, CHINK, Nigga, Nigga, Nigga, Nigga
How do you know a helicopter is Italian?De big rotor, she go “Wop, Wop, Wop”, and de little rotor, she go “Guinea, Guinea, Guinea”.
To appreciate this, you need to recall the excitement of two (?) years ago, when scientists thought they had detected neutrinos traveling at greater than the speed of light …
The bartender says (We don’t allow your kind in here.)
A neutrino walks into a bar.
And where do they both work? IHOP!
How does every racist joke begin?
furtively looks left, furtively looks right
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because he was holding hands with the first koala.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because he thought it was a new trend.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Somebody threw another refrigerator.
Why did the boy fall off of his bike?
Well, he was riding under a tree, and all of the sudden he got hit with five koalas and two refrigerators.
I loved this. It reminded me of opening the Advent Calendar when I was a child, except I didn’t have to wait a day between each surprise. 
Welp, you asked for it:
What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite wine with dinner?
Daaaaaaaaady, I waaaaaana go to Miaaaaaaaami!
What’s the difference between a Jewish American Princess and a regulation bowling ball?
If you had to, you could really eat the bowling ball.
Dang, I knew I forgot some.
I must tell this one to my cousin in Florida, who just had her house fumigated against termites.
Since we’ve done dead baby, armless/legless and ethnic jokes, here are two of my favorite Helen Keller jokes:
How did Helen Keller burn her hand?
Trying to read the waffle iron.
Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?
She sings with the other.
^ Forget the termites–it’s the LOVE BUGS that will finish you off. Clouds of 'em, thousands of clouds of 'em. They’ll swamp your house, they’ll disable your car, you will have to scrape them off your person with a putty knife, they choke the rivers with their dead. Ohhhh, they’re climbing up me leg. I can see several peeping out of me wife’s blouse. Why doesn’t Mr. Maudlin do something before it’s too late? Ohhh, GOD!
There’s another answer to the bowling ball one.
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball
:o
<– and you don’t do this while riding a motorcycle during Love Bug season
And thanks for reminding me of yet another thing to add to my list of “Why I Don’t Miss Living in Texas”
Someone bought Helen Keller a cheese grater for Christmas. It was the most violent book she ever read