I smell much better than Jimmy Hoffa.
A duck’s echo doesn’t quack.
And Americans have over 300 words for poontang.
Furniture giant IKEA has always seen itself not just as a purveyor of cheap coffee tables and meatballs, but as an ambassador of Scandinavian values. When the firm began moving into the United States, they decided to place a small exhibit about the Swedish prison system in the front of every store in hopes of showing a gentler more rehabilitation-oriented alternative to the sometimes brutal American system. However, American shoppers misinterpreted the colorful lighting and avaliability of enriching handicrafts and started leaving their kids there while they shopped, a feature that proved so popular they soon started placing them in stores worldwide.
… and they commit suicide by turning around.
In the Love Bug movies, the part of Herbie was actually played by a Volvo.
The really interesting part of the whole mtn goat (aka Hillside Gougers) thing is the rather complex mating rituals. A group of LH circularly polarized goats and RH polarized goats have to arrive at the hilltop at roughly the same time and mate on the top third of the hilltop. The resulting offspring have normal legs on both sides and can therefore descend to the bottom of the hill and restart the cycle.
Science has yet to figure out why their offspring always have one set of legs shorter than the other.
The tragedy is what happens if you have only one kind of goat near the top. They will mate but, being unable to descend (goats can’t walk backwards down the hill) the entire group will eventually eat all the remaing food and face a slow death by starvation or commit suicide, thus CalMeacham is entirely correct. The really tricky bit is how they correct the lean during mating, which is done back to back, using a prehensile penis.
Now You Know.:eek:
This was told to me by someone who actually believed it.
In Beethoven’s Fifth, the first 4 notes, da da da daaaah, were chosen by Beethoven because he was a supporter of Napoleon and “. . . _” is morse code for “V”, as in “V for Victory”.
I invented the internet.
Death Panels.
The Illuminati hate the Bilderbergers, who hate The Rolling Stones.
I, not that other guy, am the walrus.
Teen spirit smells like middle-aged spirit, which smells like cheap gin.
No one in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky is able to hunker. The last Rabbit Hash hunkerer moved to Owensboro in 2003.
Rickrolling was really Rick Astley’s idea, and he still gets $13,000 a year in royalties from it.
No one really knows what eggplant tastes like, because it has no flavor of its own.
New Mexico is not the only state with an official State Question.
The reason Redstone Arsenal was established in Huntsville, Alabama, was if the entire base blew up and took Huntsville with it, no one would notice.
It’s impossible for me to tell a lie…except right now.
It is illegal to do the Hokey Pokey in Kazakhstan, where “huokipokhi” is a vile insult. In English, it means, roughly, “your mother’s armpit,” but the venom is lost in translation.
The Pope is legally prohibited from visiting only two cities in the whole wide world: Avignon, France, and Nagasaki, Japan.
Avignon, France, because of the Avignon Papacy, when the city was the seat of whole row of antipopes.
Nagasaki, Japan, as a holdover from the anti-Christian persecution in that city during the Tokugawa shogunate.
close enough! swampspruce, you totally fuckin’ rock!
There needs to be a Terry Gilliam-style animated piece for this–dozens of planes buried nose-to-wings in the control tower, with more on the way. 
Tofu is not actually bean curd. It’s the heavily processed flesh of large rodent like animals called Totoro which are found in the forests of Japan.
The notion that is made from soy bean is the result of a Japanese-to-German-to-English translation error that occured in 1861 when a letter from the Prussian Ambassador to his daughter in Berlin describing loca Japanese foods was intercepted by British agents.
Freshly caught and cooked Totoro tastes like whale meat.
Well, there’s that, and the fact that if a Pope and Anti-pope were to accidently collide, the resulting explosion would wipe out everything within a 20km radius.
Nagasaki, having already experienced one energetic nuclear event, is merely erring on the side of caution.
The Iberian Husky, with its thick coat and ability to pull a sledge 50 miles through the snow without a break, is considered a pest species in its native Spain and Portugal.
Icelandic people don’t bury or cremate their dead; they smoke and pickle them.