The Torgo Game for MST3K fans

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I recently watched the MST3K version of Manos the Hands of Fate. For those who haven’t seen the movie, there’s a character named Torgo, who has really huge knees and moves like Joe Cocker with hands as shaky as Jello in an earthquake. At the end (a MSTie skit, not the end of Manos), there’s a bit with Torgo as a pizza delivery man. This led a friend and I to play a game about what would be bad jobs for Torgo to have.

Each job would be announced in Torgo’s shaky voice:

“Hello. My name is Torgo… I’ll be your waiter for the evening…”

“I’m Dr. Torgo… I’ll be performing the tonsilectomy today…”

So who else has some bad jobs for Torgo?

2

Hello, I’m Torgo. How would you like your hair cut today?
<sub>I miss the days when I could watch MST3K every Sunday morning :frowning: </sub>

3

Unless I’m mistaken, there’s a lot of MST3K fans around here (I’m hoping at least or this threads is gonna float in exactly the same manner as a bowling ball would float). Get to know some of us and maybe we can get a tape swap together (legal tape swap - not the ones available to buy from Rhino).

And just to help out with the coding, use the instead of < >.

Now I know this isn’t in Torgo’s voice, but it’s better this way:

[announcer]
And now Torgo is getting on his mark, ready to represent the USA in the 100 meter dash.
[/announcer]

4

“I’m Torgo, and I’ll be giving you your pap smear”
“And taking the ice in the long program woman’s figure skating, skating to the love theme of Manos…Torgo!”
“I’m Trog, and where do you want the tattoo?”

5

Hello… my name is… Torgo… I… flush your colon… when you bend… over.

6

“I, Torgo, do solemnly swear that I…wiiil faithf-f-f-fully execute the Office of President of the United S-s-s-states…”

:slight_smile:

7

“My names Torgo. i’m here to sh…sh…shave your pppp…privates.”

“Oh, Goody it’s MY turn to drive the ffff…firetruck.”

“My name’s Torgo, I’ll be performing your vesectamy this morning.”

“Let’s get working on that tooth filling.” ominous sound of dentile drill in the background.

Man, this game can go on forever.

8

Hello… my name… is… Torgo… have you… been… saved?

9

Hello… my name… is… Torgo. I… don’t… swallow.

10

Scribe’s “President Torgo” is my favorite so far, but this one cracked me up because I suddenly got the image of Torgo hovering over Dustin Hoffman asking, “Is it s-s-s-safe?”

How about:
“Good morning… This is Torgo c-c-c-coming at ya on KTGO radio… we’ve got a Rolling S-s-s-stones block coming up, but first… the Master’s in the studio to t-t-t-talk about his new book… Evil Made Easy”

11

I am Tor-go. I…super-vise the day-care cen-ter while the…Mas-ter is a-way. I hope you re-mem-bered to…bring your child’s sip-py cup, a bag of…Chee-r-ios, and an e-mer-gen-cy phone…num-ber…

12

[newscaster voice]"It was announced today that a remake of the infamous adult film “Deep Throat” will be remade starring Torgo…[/newscaster voice]

13

I am Torgo…I’ll be your blind date for this evening.

14

Hello, I’m Rabbi Torgo. I’m here for the bris.

15

Hello class, My name is Sergeant Torgo, your Chief Explosives Ordnance Disposal Instructor.

Now if you all would please gather around this live anti-personnel cluster bomb and turn to page one in your tech manual and follow along while I will begin the disarming procedures…

16

Hi, I’m Torgo, your court-appointed defense attorney. The Master says you’re guilty.

Welcome to Folsom Prison. I’m Torgo, your cellmate. Do you like man-goats?

[sub]Heh… my sister has the Torgo Screen Saver, complete with the “love” theme.[/sub]

17

I-I-I’m Torgo…I-i-i t-take c-c-care of the Overlook while the Master is away.

A-all w-w-work and n-no p-play makes Torgo a dull boy. M-makes Torgo a dull boy.

H-heeeeeeeeeeere’s T-torgo.

18

Torgo makes the baby Jesus cry

19

All your base are belong to Torgo

20

Um, Miss Creant, Superdude… those aren’t exactly examples of Torgo having a job, are they?

No offense, just trying to prevent this from turning into a thread about popping the name “Torgo” into pop phrases.