Sorry about your kitties. Sorry about your house. Wish life would quit crapping on you long enough so that you can catch your breath.
Jet was found. If he was hiding in here, he’s found a really good place to hide. My wife wasn’t sure if he wandered in the cracked open door or he was here all along. He hasn’t been eating as much, we think he misses Patches.
I had to meet the adjuster for the contents of the house, and it was really depressing to list all of our things that were lost. 16 and half years of marriage worth of belongings, memories, clothes. Gone. Since we got the rentacar on my wife’s part of our auto policy and she has a new car I have tio turn it tomorrow. So directly after dealing with the adjuster i had to go to the jeep dealership where my jeep is. Even more depressing to see it so banged up and destroyed. Given the facts that it would be weeks before I got it back if I chose to have it repaired and that its carfax identity would doom it to being worth nothing, I chose to trade it in so the loan wouild be repaid. I only had a year or so worth of payments on it anyway. normally i’d be happy to get a new jeep, but its bittersweet. But I did at least get the new 2011 Wrangler Sport, in my second choice for color…deep Cherry red, not “bright red”. (I wanted dark green, but the only one they had was an automatic)
Still no sign of Patches. I want her back, but I really can’t spend time out looking for her…and I don’t think it would help. I can’t waste time thinking about her because it depresses me even more. I hate to sound like a whiner, but we lost practically everything. Even with our good insurance this is painful and hard and frustrating. It seems like we can’t get a break, and life keeps kicking us in the teeth. I broke down into tears on my way home tonight, and I had to pull over to pull myself together before coming in. In a new car, I’m on the side of the road weeping over things I can’t change. This sucks.
I can’t even remember what I wrote, but I’m not on leave so I have to kind of let my command what my day to day situation is. They don’t expect me to be at work but they have to account for me, and from what i hear, the Group Commander is tracking tornado victim soldiers to make sure their okay, so I have to report. I guess I was more cryptic than usual because about three different people in my chain of command called me tonight. I think it was because i mentioned i didn’t want the chaplain to call me. I don’t want to hear about a merciful loving diety when all of these awful things keeps happening to me. So maybe I am whining. But the little things that made me happy are gone…patches…being able to sit in my yard on a nice day and listen to my music. My art supplies so I could draw my cartoons. My DVD collection that I spent years and a lot of cash building up. (i collect a lot of DVDs of old shows I lkiked as a kid…Kimba the White Lion, Astroy Boy, Marine boy, Spectre man, Space giants, etc.). The house, which I loved. Damn, all i wanted was a house and a yard and my loved ones. Its not fair. I’ve always tried to do the right thing, I have never hurt anyone, even in the line of duty, and all I wanted was peace and quiet. Am i such a scumbag that I deserve to have all of this crap? i guess i am. I’m not Job…my breaking point is too close.
Obviously, I can only speak for myself, but this post does not make you sound like ‘a whiner’; it makes you sound like a good, loving family man who has tried to do the right things by his family and himself, who lost a whole bunch of stuff very recently, and is coping with the aftermath of the grief.
What she said.
You’ve been kicked and kicked again. Even though there’s much to be thankful for, there’s also a HELL of a lot to be devastated over.
My heart breaks for your loss. You do have what it takes to recover, though. Love, a strong family, compassion, strength. It’ll be a hell of a time, but I just know you will get through this.
Right now, even after all of this, I’d be thankful if we could just get Patches back. But thanks, you guys.
Let me explain something:
Your house died. You’re mourning. It’s perfectly normal.
As far as I’m concerned you have every right in the world to whine, to complain, and yes, even cry. You’ve gone through a horrible experience. You have lost a lot. I realize you’re trying to be strong for your family and piece everything back together but you’re human. If pulling over to the side of the road and sobbing for a bit helps you vent some of the emotions boiling inside you and get through the day then by all means do it. It’s gotta come out somehow.
You didn’t do anything to deserve this, it’s not a judgment on you, it’s just that the universe can be a hostile and indifferent place.
If coming here to “whine” helps you in any way PLEASE continue to do it. We will listen. We might even provide suggestions. We’ll certainly provide moral support.
It wouldn’t hurt to go to TSC and get a live animal trap. Patches is probably still right around the apartment building. I know you have other things on your mind, but it wouldn’t take too much time.
Good luck. My sympathies about the tornado. I think you’re handling everything admirably.
StG
Is that really the case? I could very well be wrong on this, but I was under the impression that modular housing was built much stronger than a spot-built home. Since it’s built in controlled conditions without all the potential half-assery that a standard construction crew might bring, I was under the impression that it can be much more durable.
Of course, it was a modular home salesman who told me this, so were not exactly talking about an unbiased source…
Jolly Roger, as an insurance adjuster I can tell you that all of the emotions that you are feeling right now are normal and expected. For over 30 years I’ve helped people through fire, tornadoes, flood, or disaster du jour.
This is truly a grieving process. Everything you knew as “normal” has been destroyed. There’s not a second of your daily life that you’re not reminded of that fact.
Give yourself permission to fall apart, take a breath, and remember that you and your wife have been blessed. While it may not look like it now, everything will be back to normal in good time. One of the first things you may want to do is start looking for temporary housing where you and your wife can set up housekeeping again. That way you will have a place you can call “home” and start having a normal life again. Your insurance company can help you get money to furnish a temporary home while yours is being rebuilt.
As for rebuilding, you don’t have to make a decision on that today. I’m guessing you will be displaced between 6 and 12 months minimum depending on how busy the contractors are in your area. Take a few days to (1) understand what your insurance will pay and (2) talk to a couple of builders in your area regarding your options. You may even want to talk to a modular builder; however, many communities have bylaws prohibiting that type of construction in the neighborhood.
When communities have large-scale disasters, contractors will come from thousands of miles away to try to get work. While I wouldn’t say never to do business with an out-of-town contractor, please take caution that if their work is sub-standard you may find it difficult to get them back to make corrections if they’re in Maryland and you’re in North Carolina. We call them “stormchasers” akin to ambulance chasers. They have a good purpose because if everyone had to rely on just the local contractors to make all of the repairs, you would be waiting years for your house to be done so there are pros and cons both ways.
IANAL nor do I represent how USAA should handle your claim but if you’d like to chat, feel free to PM me any time.
Modular houses vary by manufacture in quality. All the ones I’ve seen in the last 15 years use hardware and materials I wouldn’t use in a house I built. Two screw per side door hings instead of 3 or 4 screw per side door hinges. Thinner gauge metal in the hinges. Stuff like that. My uncle bought one 40 years ago and that one was solid.
I’ve got to make a list of things we need to do toady, but I can’t stop worrying about Patches.
I want to thank everyone in the thread for the words of support and understanding. I feel a little better this morning, but probably because last night was the first full nights sleep I’ve gotten since tornado day. I’m exhausted, though, emotionally. There is still a lot to do but I have to report into my unittoday or tomorrow to see if they want me to continue to be “in the wind” while I handle this or if I’ll have to go on leave. I’ll need at least another week to get the ball rolling on the debris clearing and hiring a contractor for rebuilding and thats a conservative estimate on my part. I have an idea that it will take longer. Hell, I don’t even have any uniforms left, they were all destroyed or rendered useless in the storm…including my TA50 which I have to account for.
Its funny in a not so funny way, but my former day to day bitching about my job sounds so shallow now. It won’t be today, but one of these days I need to just do nothing and relax. I really need the break.
Jolly Roger, I agree that you need one whole day, and soon, to do nothing but chill. Maybe while your making those lists of things you need to do, things you need to replace, etc. etc., you could make a separate list of what a day of complete relaxation would entail, then take tiny steps, when you can, to start making that day happen! If you don’t do this soon, you could have a nervous breakdown or something. Then you won’t be any good to anyone.
For that matter, trying to pry an entire hour a day for yourself to rest/recharge might not be a bad idea, either. I haven’t had your particular disaster happen to me but I’ve had my share of devastation and loss in my life, and during those periods taking some time out during the day to take care of me was an enormous benefit.
Remember, if you don’t take care of YOU, you can’t take care of anyone else.
And definitely don’t stint on sleep - you may even need a bit extra than usual due to all the stress. I realize, of course, circumstances may interfere but please *try *to get a full eight hours a night. Eating healthy right now is also important, if you can manage it (again, I realize that under the circumstances that might be difficult). It’s essential you take care of yourself physically and mentally as much as you can.
Jolly Rogers wow you are having a rough time of it.
Have you talked to your vet about getting a recommendation for some herbal calming stuff for your kitties. My cat just had a scare and got all paranoid about everything (she freaked over a towel from an Anaheim Ducks game, it was weird and very odd but she now won’t go into any of the bedrooms) and my vet recommended a couple of products (I know one of them is Feliway diffuser). I understand you are maxed out, but if you can get something to help with the kitties to calm them down that is one less worry for you.
I am wishing you the strength to get thru this.
I agree with getting a live trap. Hopefully Miss Patches was just a little scared and horny and will be back as soon as she hooks up with a hot Tom. (Unfortunately, she may bring kittens with her). Anyway, if you have a trap set you may be able to catch her if she’s still scared to be around people.
I’m thinking it may be the best chance of getting her back.
But…I have to say something paritally uplifting. (I say paritally because I’m still kinda kinda down)…I called my old childhood friend today about an hour and half ago. He has his issues, and admittedly he has spent a lot of time in jail. But we grew up together and despite his faults he does have a good heart. He just need someone to remind oof that from time to time.
Anyway…he was so relieved to hear from me and so glad that the wife and I survived a tornado basically knocking on our door it made me get the sniffles. Then he told me of his recent troubles, and I told him that while I got my probs and all, I’m always there for him…even if he just needs to vent…because, well, he’s my old friend. I won’t give up on him as long as he doesn’t give up on himself.
Funny…his saying how he knew I could get over the loss of our home and my saying he can overcome the obstacles before him made us both feel better. Funny because before I talked to him I was literally mad at heaven, Fate, the dieties for my misfortunes. So was he. But the mere affirmation of our friendship made us both feel better. My friend is not particularly religious and neither am, but he thought maybe God kept me alive through tornado day just soI could could keep him from doing something stupid.
Whether or not you believe in God, its kind of a nice thought.
Well, whatever you believe in or don’t believe in, I believe it’s good to see you in somewhat better spirits tonight! 
Do try really, really hard to carve out some ‘chill’ time for yourself, though, even if it’s only a couple of hours to lay in the back yard, drinking a beer and reading a book. This is the kind of thing that will keep hitting you in different ways, and it can take its toll on people, for sure!
Now if only I could find Patches. I hope shes around here somewhere, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve put up signs, spoken to people around here, and checked animal shelters. But I can’t find her and its breaking my heart thinking about her out ther on her own. 