Thank you for clarifying this. I wasn’t sure whether to participate in the thread - I still don’t think I really need to, but I was watching from the sidelines in some confusion, so I appreciate the clarity.
The "Tradwife" lifestyle: Does anyone else find this appealing, or have personal experience with it?
TBH, nowadays an abuser would totally be on to this.
I don’t know how to make the umlaut.
It can also, Maybe, maybe just once save a person. Mainly a woman.
, IMO.
One life is one life.
I don’t see where trying to save yourself in any manner you can is a danger, anymore than you’re already in danger.
Certainly a silent hand sign can’t hurt anyone else.
And, I will now stop this hijack.
Carry on.
This isn’t about people who call themselves tradwives as part of their influencer status.
The hospital I worked at in the 00s started asking people the “Do you feel safe in the place where you are living?” early in that decade, and it was asked of all people who were deemed competent to answer, even children (and not when a person who might render it otherwise was in the room).
I’ve also heard of bars having an unofficial “safe drink”, used as a code if a customer feels that they are in danger, and then a customer who doesn’t know about this orders that drink, because it’s what they want, and the staff goes into high gear.
This sounds like urban legend territory.
It’s not only the umlaut, but the ‘n’ at the end of “Kuchen” makes it a totally different singular noun (meaning cake) than “Küche” (meaning kitchen). “Küchen” OTOH is the correct plural of “Küche”. Yeah, German is an esoteric language…
Yes male.
None of those jobs.
But somebody subject to required-by-Federal-law training every year on detecting and preventing human trafficking. Along w ~80K of my direct customer service co-workers. That’s one hell of an army of people to be on the lookout for exploitation.
None of those items were included in our training in any of the 10+ years I took it. None. Whoever invented those things is failing miserably at getting the word out to major corporations that could educate vast numbers of public-facing workers who’re already required by law to be alert for abusive situations. I can only speak to my own industry (airlines), but I’ll check w my friends in the medical biz and see if any hospital systems are teaching this.
I’m not suggesting you’re wrong as such. I am suggesting these “standard signals” are more informal and (probably) more local than we all appreciate.
I bet you didn’t know purple nail polish on your ring finger signifies Domestic violence awareness. And tells women in danger you will try to help.
#PutTheNailInIt
(It’s not supposed to be loud and noticeable, abusers know and watch. It has to be secret)
A person wears purple nail polish on a ring finger to tell abused women you’ll help them? How on earth are they going to see it?
A surreptitiously fired flare gun can also be a secret signal to get you out of trouble.
Anecdote only, but my wife commented a few years back when we went to a new-to-us bar with food. While she was in the bathroom, there was a sign saying if you were unsafe with the people you were there with, to go to the bar and order an “Angel Drink”. The assumption, probably good, being a woman is more likely than a man to be abused (likely, not certain) but a man wouldn’t be able to follow them into the bathroom. So the information was placed appropriately, and reasonably securely from prying eyes.
Not a perfect option, but hey, why not?
That isn’t the only problem with this one.
A quick look online seems to indicate that it came and went about six or eight years ago, that it was a ‘month of October’ thing (only), and that there’s only an indication that it was a show of support, but not an offer to help.
I see this as more information that – IMHO – is like telling DV victims to look for a pay phone if they’re in danger.
Hmm, I’ve taken to painting one nail because the quick is damaged, and that nail tends to catch on things and partially break off, and painting it significantly reduces the risk of that happening. And… of course it’s one of my ring fingers. I don’t think I’ve done purple, yet, but i bought some purple as part of a rainbow set. Let’s just say there was a large chance i would have painted that nail purple for completely random reasons having nothing to do with abuse, and i am not in a good position to help a woman who is being abused.
The best i can offer there is that when i took my aging mother to a lot of medical appointments, i offered to leave the room when the social worker showed up. And the social worker was generally grateful for my understanding.
That’s the “Angel shot” mentioned upthread.
Anyway, i think this is true.
And also, we are veering away from “tradwives”, most of whom are probably not abused, or at least, not in a way that will lead them to want to signal a bartender.
Let’s get back to tradwives, please.
The ‘signal for help’ has been the subject of awareness ads on TV (here in the UK at least) - it does appear to be the closest thing there is to a signal that can be expected to work.
Clerks in stores. Servers at restaurants. Bartenders, Bank Tellers. Passerbys, Medical professionals. Me, as an ultra aware person who is nervous out in the world and keep a watch.
Look if you are truly an abused/endangered woman you’ve been in the system. Either shelters, welfare organizations, medical.
You’ve heard these ways to get help. If danger is eminent.
The women tend to be frequent flyers at these shelters. I’m not sure the stats, but it takes numerous times for them not to go back to their abuser.
All shelters have programs the women need to sit through. They are teaching moments. If it’s said enough it will finally get through to them.
There are lots of things they can do to help themselves.
They need to be told these things. Word of mouth.
How women have learned things for centuries.
And as @puzzlegal has said, back to Tradwives.
Yes. But the people who aren’t those victimized women, those who might be in a position to assist the victim, need to be taught the signals too.