I’m gonna have to guess Bender from Futurama
“I hate fondue - I’m always losing my bread.” --> My So Called Life
“You know, we’re not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don’t you go club a few beavers?” – The OC
Now to add my own quote:
"I would say I am actually pretty good at avoiding duels"
- “Anna, if you tell me to bend like a willow I’m gonna throw up.”
Yes! I really didn’t think anyone was going to get that one. Nice job.
That’s such a fantastic line, absolutely right for both characters and the situation. I probably gave it away by typing it in an Australian accent.
Is this Major Frank Burns, on MASH**?
#30 Snot! Snot! Snot! - I am 99% sure this was Frank Burns to Hawkeye, on MASH.
ahhh, missed it by that much
I’m mortified that it took me two guesses - I’m supposed to know about these things (heck, I even tackled Star Cops in my over-long reviews thread over on Una’s board … )
Apropos of nothing, I keep getting the feeling that “Spare me your pork-scented lies!” is a Dick Solomon line from Third Rock From the Sun, but I’m darned if I can remember the context, if it is …
Since nobody has guessed or attempted, number 34 (“Oh thank God! He’s white!”) is a line from SOAP. (The character Mary Campbell says it upon seeing her baby for the first time [in the presence of a black nurse]- until that moment she was afraid he was the child of the space alien who took the form of her husband Burt and had sex with her and would be born silver.)
Johnny Fever said it on WKRP in Cincinnati.
- “If I had a dollar for every brain you didn’t have, I’d have one dollar.”
Spongebob Squarepants. Not sure who said it.
Forgot to post my own:
“Meat? Goooooooooooooooooood.”
Damn, damn, damn; I should have gotten that one. You couldn’t have used “You want me to get that?”
“Two thousand dollars? For a watch? For two thousand dollars you could get a piano…and a watch”
Sauron answered first, but if you want to get anal (and who doesn’t?), Gilligan could arguably have it - I’ve been told that MAS*H was the movie title, MASH was the television series, but that could be mistaken. So I’ll defer to our Canadian judge. 
I could swear this was George Costanza on “Seinfeld.” It sounds just like something he would say.
I’ll throw out a few:
“When they weren’t looking, I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.”
“Mother, you’re going to wear clothes at your wedding??”
“Er now, 'ow’d a penguin git on our tellie?”
“Blindfolded, gagged and with both hands tied behind my back!”
“Leave it to you to put the ‘pig’ back in pygmalion.”
Deanna Troy to Lwoxana Troy, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Not 100% on the episode, but I’m pretty sure she was engaged to an entirely too uptight alien, who was positively scandalised by Lwoxana wanting a traditional Betazoid wedding.
Oh…I missed this one. Monty Python’s Flying circus. Two women (Palin and Idle, IIRC…no, wait…maybe Jones and Idle. I’m 99% sure one of them - the one who said that line, in fact - was Idle.), who…have a penguin on the tele. The penguin would them proceed to explode after the news announcer (Gilliam, IIRC) said it was going to. ‘Now it’s about ding-dong-diddly time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.’
I thought Chapman and Cleese were the Pepperpots in the penguin-on-the-television bit.
Both of your answers are correct. And IIRC, it was Jones & Idle in that skit. (the same skit featured the “Death of Mary Queen of Scots” radio programme.)
ronincyberpunk is correct in identifying this quote as My So Called Life.