Yesterday, I was innocently surfing around on the 'net when I ran across this:
Can you top that? Please share your vile recipes here.
I have a perfect candidate, only it’s not real - I made it up with the help of a friend when we were appalled by some of the recipes posted to a newsgroup we were reading.
It was called Jello Salad with Spam Mousse
and the ingredients were lime jello, frozen tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, Cool Whip and Spam.
The bottom layer was lime jello with tater tots (cooked according to package instructions) embedded in it, followed by another layer of just tater tots, then a layer of cream of mushroom soup. The final layer was cool whip into which you mixed chopped spam with an electric mixer until it is pink and fluffy.
We recommend serving it in a glass bowl so your guests can admire the elegant layers. Mmmm…
I once overheard two old ladies sharing ideas for using up leftover pasta.
1 packet of jello, leftover pasta, some chopped marshmallows and a tin of pineapple.
Apparently it is delicious
My parents were married in 1954, and my mother has yet to live down her Liver Loaf, courtesy of Fannie Farmer. From the 1959 edition:
You blanch a pound of beef liver, drain it, and reserve the stock (such as it is :rolleyes: [air quotes] “stock” ). Chop the liver with a 1/4 pound of “fresh pork”–[it’s not clear what Fannie means by this–raw pork meat? I’ve always assumed that the original recipe, from some dark and smoky Victorian farm wife’s kitchen, must have meant “freshened” salt pork, which IMO would be much better than raw pork meat (not that that’s saying much :rolleyes: ). “Freshened” i.e. rinsed, salt pork would have added desperately needed fat and moisture to the loaf, salt pork being really nothing but pork fat.]
–and an onion. Then you add a cup of bread crumbs, an egg (well beaten), a teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon of pepper, 2 tablespoons catsup (in 1959 Fannie felt it necessary to specify “tomato” catsup, as opposed to “walnut” or “mushroom” catsup, which were still around), the juice of half a lemon, and enough tomato juice or [air quotes] “stock” to moisten.
So you mash this all up together, pack it into a loaf pan that’s been lined with bacon, lay some more bacon over the top, and bake it at 350 for an hour.
My dad still talks about this, after nearly 50 years, and it’s not a compliment.
Actually, that Cirucs Peanut salad sounds great.
You can find some yummy ones here.
I agree that the Circus Peanut Salad sounds really good.
Not really a recipe as much as a serving suggestion, but Nestle Quik packages actually recommended putting the powder on popcorn. I tried it. Nastier than all get out.
-Brianjedi
I came across a recipe in a really really bad recipe book that suggested you boil some macaroni–
add margarine. Mix in crumbled crackers, and black pepper. Bake for 15 minutes.
I’ll never forget that.
Thanks, everyone!
I didn’t mean to abandon my thread. I got really busy, and when I had time to get back here, I couldn’t get online.
Frobozz: I love James Lileks! But I agree with you–not before a meal.
Motorgirl: My son was acting up a lot yesterday. I think I’ll show him that recipe, with the caveat that I will make it for his supper if we have a repeat of yesterday.
That’s a truly diabolical combination of inedible foodstuffs. I’m proud of you!
Primaflora: I need a little something to scare the children at my son’s Halloween party this fall. I have a vision of a towering molded green jello with spaghetti strands writhing in it’s depths. As a centerpiece, not to be eaten. Thanks!
Duck Duck Goose: That’s unspeakable. Simply unspeakable.
My mom once told me about some horrible liver patties that Grandma used to make. I wonder if the Fanny Farmer Cookbook was the culprit in that case as well.
Mblackwell: I’ve been “jonesing” for sugar lately, so I might be tempted to try one bite of it. Where else I can get a pound of sugar in one spoonful of salad, I tells ya!
Strainger: Thanks for the link. Those are hilarious!
brianjedi: Ooooohhh, that’s bad! But I had a split-second image of something even worse when I read your post. Plain, unsweetened cocoa on popcorn. Yum, dig in!
Larry Mudd: I am reminded of the “Cheese Nip” tuna casserole my oldest sister used to make. She would combine boiled elbow macaroni, Cheese Nip crackers, diced tomatoes, and tuna (she almost never drained the tuna) in a baking pan, then top it with a generous-and I do mean generous- layer of crushed potato chips. I remember pushing this soggy mess around on my plate, unable to stop myself from imagining that it was really gobbets of brain matter.
There was so much salt in this casserole that it would probably make a lethal slug poison out in the garden.
Hey Tabithina as scary as it sounds circus peanut salad is really bad. I had a BBQ once and one of my friends (still is) brought over CPS. It wasn’t the recipie that you posted it was a little bit different. I think it was:
1 bag of Circus peanuts
1 a jar of Fluff
1 a box of assorted Nerd flavored candies
It looked very VERY strange and it was super messy, the next morning there was CPS all over the house, but the bowl was empty.
I don’t have a link- I think I found it while searching for a satay recipe- but my favorite is
Peanutbutter and Pork cookies.
It also includes cinnimon and orange zest.
From the “Heart of Iowa” cookbook.
I am concerned about the heart of Iowa.
Anyone care for Drill Instructor’s Delight?
Briminator: Nerds? Fluff?How would you ever get that out of your teeth?
CPS is so sticky that I can’t even say its name aloud without messing it up. I just finished telling my spouse that I was going to look in on my “circus penis salad” thread.
betenoir:My sincerest apologies-I found it. Apparently, it makes 60 servings. That’s scary as hell. Here goes: Ground Pork Peanut Butter Cookies
Here is a casserole my mom used to make when we were kids that we just LOVED…we begged her to make it all the time:
Mix 2 cans french cut green beans with 1 can of mushroom soup. Add 1/2 can of water to the mixture, and pour it all into a casserole dish.
Then take 8 hot dogs, cut them down the middle length wise and stuff them with cheese (preferably Velveeta). Place the hot dogs on top of the green bean mixture.
Bake for about 15 minutes in a 300 degree oven until warm and cheese is melted.
YUMMY!!!
Reminds me of something I found while searcing for barbecue sauce: Spareribs Artillery Style.
While at a science-fiction convention in Oklahoma City I bought a “Klingon Cookbook”. Wish I could provide a link so you could see some of the recipes, like Andorrian Brain Matter and Fried Ferengi Ears. Yummy! Actually, the recipes were all just oddly colored or formed versions of regular Earth food. It was a great souvenir.
Klingon Recipies. Can’t think of any really gross foods off hand. I used to love Worcestershire sauce on mashed potatoes. Does that count?
Well this isn’t a food but a drink, well two drinks, one I used to drink (infrequently) back at school, called a “Gin and Bare It” Which was 50/50 Gin and Soy Sauce. The other was drunk by the guys in my room mates frat, called “Blood of the Lamb” Whiskey and Robitussin. Other than that mid-west food is pretty weird “Seven Layer Salad” which is iceberg lettuce, cheddar, frozen peas, bacon, black olives, sour cream, and green onion. Not to cast aspersions on those from the mid-west, just that is where you find stuff like that. As one of my good friends from Chicago pointed out when I was trying to snob on his lack of culinary sophistication. He said “The best food in the world is from the mid-west.” and when I expressed a degree of disbelief in this claim he responded “Meat…and cheese.” which I really couldn’t argue with. The Gin and Bare It is worth trying (it’s “bracing” as my then girlfriend would call it), Blood of the Lamb seems more like a cocktail at a paint huffing party.
Friend of my wife yesterday afternoon was complaining about what his wife fixed him for dinner. He said it was chicken with canned pineapple and chopped onions dumped on it, then covered with LOTS of black pepper, then baked. When my wife told him what she had fixed me the last few nights (baked ziti, chicken and rice, porkchops w/ pasta salad and corn on the cob) he decided he hates me. 8^)
This is some info I posted on an old thread.
On 11/14/68, Mike Royko wrote a column praising czernina (Polish duck’s blood soup) and dissing haggis (“just a disgusting version of hash”).
Naturally, he got a lot of letters, and in a column on 11/22/68, he printed some of them. Mr. Arnold Hartley of New York wrote that they’re both for wimps, and only sanguinaccio is the measure of a man. He then continued with this recipe:
Royko’s comment: “Sounds like it might taste good if you didn’t add all that sweet stuff to it.”
<Homer>Mmmmm…pig’s blood candy…</Homer>