Ok, so this morning I haul my skanky ass out of bed and I do what any normal person does first thing monday morning.
I turn on the news (CNN Headline News) to hear about and see all those who suffered over the weekend, purely as a re-affirmation of my life.*
Now in my area CNN HN runs every 30 min local headlines. Now about all that happens in Texas is: 1) Dragracing fatalities, 2) Cop gets shot, 3) Execution of a prisoner, 4) Really cool car wreck.
Look, I understand people want local news but you can pretty much guess at whats happening in the part of texas… But there is a reason why I’m watching CNN instead of reading the local paper.
I WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THE WORLD!
I don’t give a flying fuck if there were another dozen drunk driving car accidents. THOSE HAPPEN EVERY WEEKEND! I don’t drive on the weekends after dark, because every car I see is weaving all over the fucking place.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE COPS FOR HERE!?
I digress
4, was addressed here today. In fact, it was several car wrecks. But only the first one annoyed me.
I’m having breakfast (the bottle of 7-up that’s left over from making Lynchburg lemonaids)** when the silly blonde local news caster starts talking.
One man had to be cut out of his car (so cool car wreck, and yes after looking at the pictures that car was fucked up) after getting in an accident around 3 am this morning. The white car, yep its white all right, collided with a white van. (cuts to a picture of a smashed up silver van, right infront of a white car with the roof cut off)
Eh? The car, it is white. The van, it is silver. Not white!
ITS NOT WHITE YOU ASSHAT! Very clearly the van is silver, very clearly the van is shown right next to the WHITE car so you can make out the differences between the two! ONE IS WHITE THE OTHER IS SILVER! THIS IS NOT HARD TO FIGURE OUT! You don’t, and obviously don’t have, a degree in journalism to figure out the freaking difference between silver and white!
How the fuck did this stupid girl get her goddamned job? SHE THE NEWS ANCHOR FOR CHRISTSAKE! If I was a news anchor (ya know getting paid money to do something that looks a hell of a lot cooler than my job) I’d at least LOOK AT WHAT THE HELL I WAS REPORTING ON.
Ok, maybe in her defense she doesn’t have anything to do with the news stories, maybe she just smiles at the camera and leans forward a lot while she reads the teleprompter. Maybe the fault lies with the person who wrote what she’s reading, or the person who put it into the telepromper.
Someone, somewhere is unable to tell the difference between silver and white. Now I know colour blindness is unfortunate, but it doesn’t hamper any of your daily activities (unless you’re a fashion designer, but judging from the current fashions all of em are colour blind). But its not as if being colour blind is suddenly a suprise after 20+ years of living. I don’t the person who called the van white will realize around dinner time, “HOLY SHIT I"M COLOUR BLIND!!! I SHOULD HAVE ASKED SOMEONE WHAT COLOUR THE CARS WHERE!!!”
BUT IF YOU"RE GOING TO RUN THIS AMAIZINGLY IMPORTANT NEWS STORY EVERY 15 MINUTES WHY THE FUCK CAN"T YOU MAKE SURE YOU GOT THE COLOUR OF THE VAN RIGHT!
And its not like they only mentioned it once every 15 min they broke for breaking local news! No they kept on repeating it!!!
AND ITS NOT BREAKING NEWS!
Some guy got his car trashed and got caught in it. He’s fine! The van driver is fine! WHO CARES!
But it could be worse. Back home in Seattle, the PI wrote an article that stated Fidel Castro had died. It was a very poorly written blerb about some state funeral Castro was at. It ended up comming out as saying people were viewing Castro’s body, instead of Castro viewing the dead guy’s body.
- Lets be honest here, nobody wants to be up on a monday morning to go back to work, if you have to suffer, someone else better be suffering to in the world.
** It is the most important meal of the day, but first thing in the morning I can barely remember my name much less how to make food.
