The Village of the Darned

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve been darned. Cursed to wander the vapid recesses of darnation. How long? Eternity I guess. Or something.
…sure is kinda dull around here. I once spent an aeon in dangnation, that was nowhere near as dull as this. At least there was a little flame here and there. Some periods of slightly uncomfortable warmth. Here it’s…just…so…darned.

Don’t confuse this place with tarnation. Tarnation I’ve only heard about, but they say there’s all manner of odd things in tarnation. And the borders are looser there, too. Odd things are always slipping in and out of tarnation, where they and their ilk belong, and into the real world where they temporarily confuse hillbillies, rednecks and hicks. But them folks always know those odd things come from tarnation, they just aren’t sure exactly where or what.

No, this is darnation. CalMeacham darned me this afternoon and, I’ll be darned if I’m not here now. Think I’ll just set myself up as mayor over here in this darned place.

:: sits down heavily ::

2

It could be worse. You could have been darned to heck.

Trust me, that is way, way worse.

Heck is an awful place, like Pleasantville only without Reese Witherspoon.

3

But did he darn you to heck?

If so, does Phil let you borrow his spoon to eat potato salad, or does he only do that for the PHB?

4

Hey! simulpost! I’ll be darned…shucks, I already am.

But you’re right, it’d be the darndest luck to be darned to heck…or heaven forbid: gol-darned, or even gosh danged! ::Shudder::

5

I thought you were going to talk about working in a cubicle farm. Sniff, I am disappointed. :confused: :frowning: :wink:

6

But if you’re darned doesn’t that imply you’re a sock? :eek: I’m pretty sure you’re not a sock, you wouldn’t be here if you were a sock.
Ok, now I’m confused. I guess I have no alternative but to bleach my hair. :confused:
I just don’t get it. I don’t want to bleach my hair…I don’t fe… sigh… (wanders slowly away)

7

Well, shoot, Inigo, darn him right back!

8

Now you’re just being a Blondist. :wink:

9

Ha! Now you’re bouble darned! Good luck getting out of this one, darnsworth!

10

Does bouble darning have anything to do with breasties? Big or small, I’d never darn the boubles.

11

Is Darn run by the Prince of Insufficient Light?

12

I thought that was Heck?

13

Alas, nobody that exciting. I just met with the mayor of darnation: Don Ho. It was the darndedst thing.

14

:dubious: I thought you said you were the mayor?

15

I think I’d rather be darned than danged.

16

Insert appropriate sock pun here__________________.

17

Well, that’s part of the trouble here. Too many darned mayors.

18

Watch out with the complaining, or you’ll be dashed.

Or maybe I’ll have you durned by Gol.
Or Blimed by Gor.

Actually, this thread might almost never have existed. I changed it to “darn” in the post that started this at the last moment, before sending. Isn’t that the damnedest thing?

19

It may be worth checking that your house isn’t built on top of the entrance to Heck. Check under the stairs. If this turns out to be the case, you should seek protection in the name and power of Crikey.

20

You surely meant Darn Ho, yes?