Uther Penguin, thank you for the info. Ignorance has definitely been fought, I had no idea that the bread was steamed in that fashion.
So, does anyone have a baked recipe that’s easier to produce, and is, say, a good imitation?
Uther Penguin, I am in awe; however, to be Emperor (Penguin) of the Internet, you need to tell us where the name came from–NOW! Without looking it up.
($5 on Uther)
Poke a hole in it, drop in an egg and fry it. You may want to add a slice of cheddar or a paper-thin slice of onion.
The story of a Napoleonic soldier calling it “pain pour Nicoll” (his horse) is just a myth. Without looking it up, I dimly remember that a connection with dialectic “pumpern” (to fart) is suspected. Ther “nickel” part is probably derived from the name Nicholas, but I cannot say why.
What I can say: Pumpernickel is originally an exonym. In Westphalia, it was known under the less mysterious name Swattbrout (pronounced approximately SVUTT-browt. Well, the last vowel is somewhere between oh and ow), meaning black bread.
Bonus-factoid I know from having lived in that area: The oldest still active specialized pumpernickel bakery can be found in Soest (The Westphalian, not the Dutch place of that name). It was established in 1570.
In the church Wiesenkirche in Soest there is a stained glass window famous for its depiction of the Last Supper: the artist depicted what he and the parishioners knew locally. So the apostles eat pumpernickel, smoked ham and a pig’s head. Picture here (Yes, I looked up that URL.)
This is all so cool! I bow to the Emperor (Penguin). Thanks. 
Another way to eat pumpernickel you have “forgotten”:
When you have the traditional coarse version with whole berries, then it is commonly grated once it has become too dry to slice.
Pfefferpothast is a beef-and-onion stew, made with beef stock and the local Altbier (but any not too hoppy dark ale should work fine). Season with lots of coarsely ground black pepper and cloves to taste, thicken the broth with grated pumpernickel. Serve with gherkins and boiled or not-too-finely mashed potatos. Or, if you want to stay true to the medieval recipe, with chunky mashed parsnips and carrots.
Grated Pumpernickel is also used in different desserts:
Stippmilch (“dipping milk”) is curd or soured milk with sugar, cinnamon and pumpernickel crumbs
Herrencreme (“gentlemen’s cream dessert”) is a less sweet custard with a shot a rum and pan-roasted pumpernickel crumbs
Italian-style ice cream is sometimes made similar to Herrencreme, with roasted and/or rum-soaked pumpernickel crumbs.
Apparently missed the edit window:
Pumpernickel truffles
150 g (or ~5.3 oz) dark chocolate
125 g (or ~ 4.5 oz) unsalted butter
2 slices pumpernickel, rather dry
2 cl (or ~ 0.1 cups) herbal liqueur (e.g. a half-bitter digestif like Jägermeister)
cocoa powder
Grate the pumpernickel until fine, soak in the herbal liqueur. Melt chocolate in a bain marie, mix with butter. Add the soaked crumbs. Cover and let cool in the fridge for an hour. Shape into c. 40 balls and roll in cocoa powder.
The “nichol” part is for “old nick” or “the devil” or “goblin”. Devil fart or goblin fart 
There was a bakery in Colchester CT when I was a kid that had a pumpernickel loaf that I have never found again. Big round loaf, with a crust that I as a kid would have to tear at to get through. So good with peanut butter. Nothing else has compared.
The wonders just keep on coming…thanks all, I knew I was in love with this bread.
NeonMadman and Soul Brother Number Two are almost there. Some Welch’s Grape Jam on the peanut butter completes it.
By the way, the best pumpernickel I’ve ever had is the pump bagels from Einstein Brothers, though some others come quite close.
Now, about the name of the bread. I’ve heard the “goblin’s fart” version, of course, apparently from somebody who doesn’t like very dark bread. Some people regard black bread as peasant food, too funky for civilized people.
Here’s another story, and I’m not claiming it’s true. Napoleon Bonaparte was on one of his military adventures, and they camped in a place where the locals had no white bread. The cook brought him a loaf of black bread and asked if it was good enough for the troops. Napoleon offered some to his horse, Nickel. The horse liked it, and Napoleon said, “If it’s good for Nickel, (bon pour Nickel) it’s good enough for my men.”
That might have been true hundreds of years ago, but I’ve never heard anything like that in my lifetime. “Peasants” in my part of the world eat Wonder Bread. I don’t think it’s a sentiment expressed in Germany, either.
Post #24.
A closer translation would be ‘farting devil’ or ‘farting goblin.’
So close… swap the coleslaw with sauerkraut and add a slice of Swiss cheese. Put some butter in a skillet and grill until it is crispy and melted in the middle.
Blasphemy!!
Baker - this may get you going. Bavarian Pumpernickel Bread
Or this link with some history: The history of Pumpernickel Bread
I tried it in China once about 5 years ago and didn’t get it right. but was on the right trak The recipe looks like it should have a good result and I’m going to try again. I do remember the sour ended up making about 10x more than what was needed.
Come back after you’ve made this, PM me, and do a whole thread on how to bake it PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Good Lord, that’s an involved recipe!
I’m glad they included a source for rye berries, otherwise I would have to pass, as I don’t think there’s a local source for them.
Really, I will order them and give this recipe a try. It looks like it makes a lot of bread, eight loaves at least, but that wouldn’t be a problem because for the mixing I think my boss would let me use the big mixer from work. Especially if it comes out right and I give him one of the loaves.
If you like German baking I can send you a stollen recipe I got from the mother of a former boss of mine. He was born in Germany, although he spent the better part of his life her in the US. But his mom was visiting over Christmas and I was invited to their house and helped make stollen, real and authentically German!
I used to haul pumpernickel on my backpacking outings. Survived great in a pack situation, and always tasty.
Not very nice of you to steal a recipe from an old lady
My wife’s very German family has passed down a stollen recipe they call Frozen Wreath that we make each Christmas. My wife seems to be the only one who can make it right since her Grandma. She has taught my daughter how to make it as well. One of my favorite Christmas traditions now.
I’d offer you the recipe, but I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to see the details (I guess too much Swedish blood and not enough German).
My background is mostly German, so I’d probably be safe. I have the stollen recipe at work, so it will be Tuesday before I can get to it.
I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours!