The word is penis, Extenze

[nameless]

@Linty_Fresh

Ahhh, an excuse to post my favorite webcomic of the week.

Do I have to say it? Don’t read this one at work.

Man, I was wondering what happened to Seanbaby.

[jjimm]

Spam reported.

[don_t_ask]

I think you are all misunderstanding. The part of a man’s body that it makes bigger is his common sense.

“Fuck, these don’t do anything to my dick. I’ve been had. Ah, I get it…thank you ExtenZe.”

[Biggirl]

@Linty_Fresh

Ahhh, an excuse to post my favorite webcomic of the week.

Do I have to say it? Don’t read this one at work.

The best part was the ‘are you sure that’s how “proof” works?’ panel. And Upuaut, of course.

[dhkendall]

@PunditLisa

My favorite line of the ExtenZe commercials: “And for a limited time, we’ll double the amount of ExtenZe. If they didn’t work, could we afford to do this?”

I guess people with small penises are lacking in logic, too.

Well, Dopers are known for their brains and logic. Which leads me to two conclusions:

[ol]
[li]Dopers don’t need this stuff because they’re smart[/li]
ergo…
[li]Dopers don’t need this stuff because they’re all well-hung[/li][/ol]

So maybe walking into a bar and saying “Hey, baby, I’ve got a 140 IQ” is the best pickup line …

[Guinastasia]

Brother and sister hell!!! More like father and daughter! Ugh!
I wouldn’t mind “Smilin’ Bob” if it wasn’t for that damned music!!! I HATE that music. UGH!!!

(Although anyone notice in the Christmas commercial, they have the “North Pole” sign, and at one point the women are lining up, and all you can see is the word “pole?”)

Oh, and now they sell a “topical rush” cream or something like that. (What, like a Ben Gay sensation for your dick?)

[Covered_In_Bees]

@don_t_ask

I think you are all misunderstanding. The part of a man’s body that it makes bigger is his common sense.

“Fuck, these don’t do anything to my dick. I’ve been had. Ah, I get it…thank you ExtenZe.”

There’s no way in the world that is how it would go. Here’s real life:

“Fuck, it’s not working. Maybe I got a bad batch, better order some more.”

[tacoloco]

The extenZe commercial I’ve seen most is one where the couple looks a bit like they’re blood related and they keep nodding and saying how it could be “fun” after taking it.

[carlb]

@Fuzzy_Dunlop

They could have charged the company with fraud, like Arthur Andersen. It wouldn’t even be as big a deal since presumably Enzyte doesn’t have 80,000 employees and $10bn in sales. (or do they?)

The article I read regarding this case (I think it was in GQ) said that the conviction was not related to the product per se, but for deceptive billing practices and the like. Repeated billing after cancellation of your order, deception regarding when and how billing would start after your “trial” period, things like that.

[Michael_Ellis]

When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to another radio station as we Broadcasters sometimes do… what I heard shocked and saddened me… I heard a broadcaster, who will go unnamed, use the word penis on the air. At 9 in the morning not just once but twice he said… that word… twice. Now as a Broadcaster, freedom of speech is my bread and butter but I’m also a big fan of a little thing called decency - the meat in the broadcasting sandwich. I am personally outraged by the shock tactics our competitors are using in pursuit of the all mighty ratings. Freedom of speech is one thing… the word “Penis” is another. I’m Bill McNeal with the McNeal perspective…

[Grrr]

I love how those women imply that if you have a small penis, you are inadequate in every way imaginable.

[Guinastasia]

@Shakes

I love how those women imply that if you have a small penis, you are inadequate in every way imaginable.

You mean you’re NOT?
[sub]jk[/sub]

[Try2B_Comprehensive]

Guy walks into a pharmacy, is dismayed to see there are only two women working there that day. But he needs to do something fast.
‘Excuse me, but I took this stupid product, and now I have a huge erection that simply will not go away. This is pretty embarrassing, sheesh, but what can you give me for it?’

The pharmacist says, ‘Let me ask my boss’, and goes in the back where they whisper together for a minute.

She steps back to the counter and tells the guy, ‘We’ve got $500 between the two of us…’

[marshmallow]

@I_Am_The_Lorax

I assume these products are to help men impress women. As a woman, I can’t imagine what the turn on of this would be. A bigger cold wet spot on the bed? Thanks hon, you sleep in it. I get to drain more yucky smelling fluid in the morning? We can go back to using condoms, then.

I dunno if that one is for women. TMI, but it feels really nice when it comes out and more = better.

[Kobal2]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Agreed, although this laundry basket thing does make it an awful lot easier to figure out where my socks and underwear are.

I call bullshit. Nobody knows where one’s socks are, or where they eventually disappear to. Not women, not men, not God.

[Martini_Enfield]

@AskNott

Let’s keep in mind a basic fact of marketing. The number of unsatisfied customers who actually demand a refund is very small. On the balance sheet, you can sell a completely useless product and still make money.:smack:

Such a scheme (minus the presence of an actual product) is discussed at length in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. The idea is to sell sex toys to people via mail order, then return their cheques endorsed with a company name that implies its members are homosexuals with a penchant for kinky buttsecks. The protaganists can then pocket most of the money from the sale of the (non-existent) items on the theory that most people are not going to want the staff at their local bank to know they like kinky gay sex.

@I_Am_The_Lorax

I assume these products are to help men impress women. As a woman, I can’t imagine what the turn on of this would be. A bigger cold wet spot on the bed? Thanks hon, you sleep in it. I get to drain more yucky smelling fluid in the morning? We can go back to using condoms, then.

There are some women out there who prefer that, instead of finishing inside them, their partners ejaculate on them instead*. So I’m not saying there’s no market for a product that increases the volume of ejaculate, but it’s almost certainly large enough (heh) to be worth the company’s while developing and marketing said product.

*Or So I’m Told