OK,
I’m sure the whole “Really Bad Songs” topic had been exhausted long before I arrived on the boards, but this is a true gem.
I get it from a book about Lester Bangs, the famous rock writer, featured in angelic form in “Almost Famous” and portrayed by Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
Given the quality of his prose it’s almost impossible to believe he wrote this. A joke? The references to art, etc. make that seem kind of unlikely. Here we go.
Poo Pants
By Lester Bangs
I wash his poo pants
While he stands around and rants
Living with an artist is aesthetic bliss
But mama never told me there’d be days like this
Chorus:
Poo pants
Hangin’ off his bottom
Oh, oh, oh poo pants
I’m so glad he’s got 'em
Somehow they’re endearing to me
I wash his poo pants
While he plays “Sally Can’t Dance”
But as he guzzles malt liquor and scoffs
For five days he doesn’t take 'em off
He’s a genius in the throws of ascension
But I move in another dimension
And, no, it’s not ascetic bliss in verse one, even though that makes way more sense in context.
Think you got something to rival this? Post it.
MarxBoy
As another note (and to up my post count):
Try reading this out loud, I can’t do it. Especially if there are people around.
Funny… very funny.
I can well believe Lester Bangs wrote that. Sure, it’s a joke. It seems to be written from the viewpoint of the wife or GF of the “artist”- perhaps Bangs himself? That should probably be “throes” in the pentultimate line. No, I can’t think of anything worse or funnier!
Yeah, throes not throws.
I can be quite the moron in the wee hours of the morning.
It seems that this thread is doomed to wither and die anyway, people view but do not post.
MarxBoy
Well, I just gotta spoil the self-pity fest.
It’s no fun deriding lyrics of marketed products like britney, toni, BS boys, et al… The bad lyrics that stay with me and get under my skin are the ones penned (or, at least, given voice to) by artists I respect.
E.g.,
I can hardly bear the sight of lipstick
On your cigarettes there in the ashtray,
Lying cold the way you left them,
But at least your lips caressed them
While you packed.
Or the lip print on a half-filled cup of coffee
That you bought and didn’t drink.
But at least you thought you wanted it,
That’s so much more than I can say for me.
-Declan Patrick Aloysius Macmanus, a.k.a. Elvis Costello
or
If you forget my name
You will go astray
Like a killer whale
Trapped in a bay.
-Bjork
The first, peurile twonk; the second, childish rhyme games.
OK, the self pity fest has ended.
This does seem to be an especially lurker-heavy thread though. Surely some of you people have to have SOME song that you find particularly bad or funny.
[sally struthers]
with only a few moments of your time, you can make a post that will give a thread life, and make a newbie’s day.
[/sally struthers]
MarxBoy