I wrestled with where to put this… MPSIMS seemed like a good option, but I wanted to see what others had to say about their own experiences. I also thought about Great Debates, with the idea being that this guy is the worst neighbor I’ve ever seen documented, and no one could top it.
In the end, I decided on In My Humble Opinion. Because, in the final analysis, IMHO, this guy wins the prize.
I will warn you. This is long… ugly… disturbing… and funny as hell. But it is well worth the read.
Fellow dopers, I present to you my candidate for the worst neighbor, John Doe #8!
Enjoy!
OHHHHHHHHH! I’ve read that before! Isn’t it crazy!!! I’ve never really had terrible neighbors, so I can’t compete… but you’ve definately got my vote, Max. You’re not the guy who wrote the page are you?
This may be old, but I just stumbled on it this evening… I had a great laugh… and thought I’d share. Suddenly, my own wacky neighbors (who let their dog drop bombs on my yard) seem like a blessing.
All my former neighbor did this past summer was have a large bonfire. On one of the hottest days of the year. During one of the dryest summers on record. While a burn ban was in effect. Under a couple of large douglas fir trees. Thank God the fire department thought it was an emergency. I truly was scared to death he was trying to burn down the whole neighborhood.
Among other things, left his large German shepherd mix dog locked in the house while him and the family went away for the weekend. By Saturday morning, the dog tore a hole through the living room wall and through the outside wall.
Him and his father in law started a firewood business. Both held full time jobs too so this meant the wood was cut usually after 8 pm. I go to bed at 8.
The day after Christmas bragged about how much him and his wife loved the gifts they gave each other. She gave him a carburator for his old Ford truck. The one with the whole in the block. He gave her 2 cartons of cigarettes. She had just finished 3 months of chemotherapy and felt good enough to start smoking again.
Did I mention the 6 or so old non running cars. He even tried to park some in front of my house. I threatened to have them towed. I have two other neighbors with a bunch of cars too so he fit in.
A bit of good news I hope. The owner of the house next door has decided to sell it. He is getting out of the landlord business. The neighbors have now moved and the house sits vacant. Now all I can do is wait till someone else moves in.
I first saw that a while back and thought it was hilarious. Then, the more I showed it to people, the worse I felt. By now I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t figure out who’s worse, JD8 or the guy with the site.
Sure, I understand neighborhood covenants and all, but fo rthis guy to decide he’s gonna make a one-man-stand against this guy. Only twice during the whole thing does he actually talk to JD8 - the rest of the time he’s happy to hide behind other peopel and his snarky website.
JD8’s no peach, but would you want to live next door to someone who had decided you were a bad neighbor and, to prove it, stalked your house with a digital camera and put pictures of it on a website for everyone to laugh at?
I can’t compete with the sheer quantity of madness, but I’ve got one for quality. Unfortunatly, I qualify as the bad neighbor (or, more accuratly, my mother and her boyfriend, as this happened when I was 15)
We had a lake house that needed some fixing up. It sat on 2 1/2 acres and on the very back edge (the side away from the lake) sat a dumpy little 1 car garage that was packed with garbage. We decide we want to build a 3 1/2 car garage that will be able to house both our boats in the winter, plus lawn mowers and assorted tools and such. (To be fair, my mother’s boyfriend was an expert builder, and the resulting garage was very well constructed) Here’s where it gets nuts.
We start this project by tearing down the old garage. We cart all of this down to our regulation(2x2x2) firepit down by the lake and start to stack it all up. By the time we are done, we have the whole damn thing, shingles, aluminum siding and all, piled up into a large tee-pee style bonfire. Not wanting to start the neighborhood on fire, we drag a hose down there and also fill a couple of plastic garabge cans with water. We then light the sucker up (using only the highest quality lighter fluid, of course) The resulting fire lasted for 12 hours(not counting the 2 days it smoldered), and we added whatever wouldn’t fit on the main mass as the thing burned. The flames got to 25 feet easily and was too hot to approach within 20-30 feet. It burned the tops of trees 20 feet away and metled 2 of the garbage cans full of water that we had placed 20-30 feet away. How the fire department was never summoned I will never know. People across the lake later told us they thought someones house was on fire.
When this thing finally cooled enough, we sifted though the ashes and found that the aluminum siding and the windows (the panes were wood, so we chucked them on the inferno) were melted down to slag, little chucks of melted aluminum and glass that we kept as soveniers.
The village subseqently passed an ordinance that all fires (which had to be no bigger than 2x2x2) had to be cleared with the village counsil before they would be allowed, or the police (the village cop, who was a body and IQ double for Barney Fife) would be summoned.
This far tops the other faux-pas of my mother’s when she piled up a lawn full of leaves into a 10x10x5 pile, dumped gasoline all over it and flicked her Bic.(I was 10 and the explosion was heard by me inside a friends house several blocks away):smack:
Fires seem to be popular when it comes to bad neighbors. But I would never do something like that now that I’m an adult…
-plays with zippo-
My neighbor was upset that my 90 year old pine tree was dropping needles on his 6 year old driveway so he intentionally almost hit my year and a half old daughter with his car as she and her 69 year old nanny crossed his driveawy on the sidewalk.
While talking over the incident he pushed at me with a 4 year old tire iron. I broke his 50 year old nose with my 43 year old fist.
My bushes along the fenceline are simultaneously dying from some kind of poison.
We go to trial later this month because he’s pressing charges.
I’d welcome the neighbor in your link like a bunch of warm cookies.
Our neighbours have a pup which barks every night at about 10pm. I’m in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and its right about the time I’m trying to sleep.
They do NOTHING about it. They figure that ignoring the dog is the best bet. Well, this dog has been barking at 10pm every night for about two months now, and still hasn’t learnt that barking won’t get it anything.
Any bets as to how many more months it can keep barking?
Damn straight. Apart from late night noise which didn’t seem that frequent, I don’t see what’s so bad about this guy. When called out over the noise he apologized and didn’t even exact revenge after it was clear who the snitch was.
If I’m ever fortunate enough to buy a house, I hope to put up whatever I want on the property. I’m not particularly handy so my projects may not look professional-quality, but too bad. I will enjoy working on them and too bad for the delicate sensibilities of my neighbors.
Of course I hope to not live in a neighborhood with covenants either, but someone where people can have some individuality.
