The worst racers in Amazing Race history-Cast the TAR-All-Turds

We’re not talking competence, or someone will simply say “the first out in each race”, we’re talking the worst human beings on the race. The teams that fought, annoyed, cheated, etc. Performance isn’t all that much of an issue (although if you think a team totally lucked their way to the end of the race despite being total morons (faux-hippies, Dandrew, Eric and Pink) feel free to include them.

Finally–why you dislike them…'cause what’s the fun of snarking on the racers if you don’t actually snark on them?


For me:

  1. Tara & Wil–a broken-up couple where he wanted to get back together and she wanted to hook up with a bouncer on another team. She actually threw the race (it was a footrace to the finish line) and she slowed down to let her boyfriend beat her husband. Any couples-fights on TAR you’ve seen before are measured against those two.

  2. Flo & Zach–Actually just Flo. Zach just had bad hair. Flo spent the entire race doing nothing but complaining about what Zach was doing (and since she did exactly one task…) and Zach (literally) had to carry her through the race (no, really. LITERALLY. On piggy back) while she played kissy-face with another team.

  3. Millie & Chuck–Professional virgins who ate each other alive. They also didn’t sleep for several episodes so they could “research” stuff(?) and ended up delusional. (Plus they were huge honking homophobes…when the gay team, in a rare “eat/sleep/mingle” sequence told everyone it was their anniversary, Chuck got all nasty and disapproving.)

  4. Jonathon & Victoria–probably #1 on everyone’s “Most hated” team list. She was a kinda dim, kinda shrill Playboy bunny (or something similar), he was a scrawny cretin who beat and verbally abused her. He hit her at least 3 or 4 times on the race, she had a suspicious hand-shaped bruise on one arm and I lost a lot of respect for TAR when they didn’t bounce him for hitting her.

  5. Eric and whatshisname–two deeply closeted gay guys who kept talking about “boobies”. They sounded exactly like Mr. Garrison on the early episodes of South Park where he was pretending he wasn’t gay 'cause he wanted to “pound vag”. They also kept harassing female contestants (“Hey, if I said you have good boobies, could I feel 'em to check that they’re real?”). Also, women who beat him in tasks were “filthy hookers”

  6. The Faux Hippies–The ultimate attention whores. You really can’t say “We’re both filled with wide-eyed wonder at the world around us” non-ironically. And they did. Plus, they did shit that messed with the race itself to attention whore. Like stripping before a non-elim mugging.

  7. Mary & Dave–she was an abusive bitch who kept hiding behind the “Ah’m jes’ a pore hillbilly frum Arkansas” who’s behavior towards her husband would have been considered abuse if the genders were reversed. She’s also one of those sick, delusional people who make bad decisions and then blame the other team member for it. (They had to screw bolts onto the wheels of an earth-mover. Dave said “Hey, you’re not doing it right.” She starts screeching about how he can’t tell her what to do and he should just shut up. Then when it turns out they had to redo the entire task, she blames him. Also, she kept losing her race-innocence virginity over and over and over (“Whay, they raced ahead o’ me! An’ here I thought we wuz friends. Ah’ll never trust anyone on this race ever again!”)

  8. The Cho Brothers-Two more attention whores. Who in their right mind thinks that playing with fake guns in an airport (!!!) is a good idea? And their attempt to spend the race proving to everyone what good people they are by helping incompetent teams totally screwed up what should have been a great season.

  9. Myrna & Charla–Delusional “little person” and her more delusional cousin. Anyone who disagreed with them or tried to compete with them were ‘criminals’ (they asked another team to “protect” them if anyone came along and tried to push them out of line). Plus, the non-short one claimed to speak 11 languages, all of which turned out to be speaking in a Chico Marx voice.

  10. The Pizza Brothers–Got on the race only to advertise their pizza business and who were the only team to sit down and pout and refuse to budge from a detour (ostensibly because one of them had “bad knees”. Which doesn’t explain why his knees only went bad when he was losing or why he didn’t just quit the task and go to the mat for elimination.) They also hated everything–every country they visited was “stupid”, every task was “dumb” and every other person on the race sucked.

  11. Ron & Christine–a (probably) mentally ill dad who constantly berated his daughter with totally…bizarre…non-sequeters. When he said he couldn’t pick between two tasks and asked her to pick a task and she did, he accused her of being indecisive and having “boogers in her nose”(?) If she wasn’t so desperately hurt every time she thought he was going to change, he would have been funny. His “best” line? As they hit the finish line (in second place) he says to Phil “For the first time in my life, I can look at her and say “I love you” and actually mean it.”

  12. Deaf kid & Mom–you can play sneaky and that’s no problem. You can play honest and there’s no problem. But you can’t play sneaky and then complain that other people are being dishonest. Also you can’t say you’re on the race to prove that deaf people are just as competent as everyone else and then complain that A) you’re not being given special treatment, B) having your mommy fight your battles for you and C) sit down and pout if things don’t go your way.

  13. Mikka & Caannan–These wouldn’t have made the list (Nate & Jennifer from Tar 12 were far worse as a couple) except for the “Grab her wrists while 8 stories up and try to throw her off the building” thing. Really–hitting/forcing your teammate to do something physically should mean instant elimination.

Honorable mentions
Lynn & Carlyn–only Lynn actually. She hated everything and every one.

Nate & Jen–“It’s my birthday, you should let me win!”, “You’ve come in first too many times. You should let me win.”–plus, the second best couples-meltdown since Wil & Tara

(Controversial choice)
Unchenna & Joyce–Him more than her. He has this warped idea that because he’s a “good person”, A) he’s entitled to do anything he wants (I think he stiffed more cabbies than anyone else on the race, but it was “ok” because it was karma and B) He won because he was a “good person”. :rolleyes:

So how 'bout you guys? For me, this would be the worst of the worst. Any arguments? Additions? Debate?

I would add The Weaver Family from TAR:Family, that is, if that season had actually happened and wasn’t just a fever dream. Wait, it did?

Wait, the only taxi incident I remember with Uchenna and Joyce was at the final pit stop where he begged, offered his watch, did everything he could to pay the taxi driver to go inside a park to win the daggone million. They were way ahead of all the other teams and watched their lead evaporate while they negotiated with the last money they had to pay a taxi, and eventually the guy agreed to take all that they had and call it a done deal. When else did they stiff a cab driver?

There was an earlier one in…um…Africa, maybe? He gave their first cabbie a huge tip and then had to stiff the second cabbie.

Or am I thinking of Chip and Kim? Those two teams were pretty much identical, except that Joyce kicks Kim’s ass. It’s weird. I don’t get any other teams mixed up like those two.

I wish I could watch some of the older seasons. I missed out on a lot of these people, since I didn’t start watching until the season after the family edition. I got to go back and see the two seasons that are available on DVD, but not the rest. :frowning:

Really, unless you have a deep NEED to understand the visceral hatred for the Fucking Weavers, skip Family Edition. It sucked.

Fox Reality Channel reruns old Amazing Race episodes. This weekend they showed all of Season 9; I taped the episode when the teams went to Darwin, Australia, which is my home town. So fun!

Man, it sounds like I have really been missing some light RO on TV !

Ironically, it also sounds like the Pizza brothers might have been onto something…

I think this was about the first season I watched Amazing Race (I have watched on a pretty regular basis since then) but after this episode, didnt the rules change so contestants couldnt show up wearing expensive gold jewelry or fancy watches, and then sell/trade them when the need for more money arose?

I may be off about when I first saw AR—I remember that at first, Racers had to buy their own plane tickets and hotels (with money provided by the show of course), and though I absolutely HATED seeing Americans begging for money (all to win a game show) in wretchedly poor countries, I really liked how smart money management was a big part of the Race, and how (for example) paying an extra 400 bucks to take a flight that arrives only 20 min. in front of the next, cheaper flight was not always a good decision…

I’m fairly certain that it’s always been against the rules - it’s just that no one had been successful at trading their belongings until it showed up as a penalty. I don’t think the cab driver actually took Uchenna’s watch as payment.

Did Dandrew’s cab driver accept their shoes as payment? Because I don’t remember them getting dinged for it but, then again, I don’t remember if the deal was actually clinched.

I think they’re available on YouTube (they were).

I think they did, and I also think that was the final straw that pushed the producers into making that new “Don’t stiff your cabbie” rule.

I think he was shopping for new ones in the airport, and was NOT happy when he saw the prices…

But they were a lot of fun to watch…

Peter-of the “my partner only has one leg so I’ll let her do all the Roadblocks to prove she’s competent while I sit and watch” team.

“And then practically run for the Pit Stop through the bog while she tries to make headway on a non-firm surface with her one leg.”

You know, I wondered after that season how many of his clients he’s pulled that relationship thing with. Does he make a move on every young, pretty female amputee that he makes legs for?

Am I the only person who actually liked Charla and Mirna? Well, I liked Charla, anyway–Mirna was a bit shrill, but I was pretty impressed they lasted as long as they did.

Tara and Wil were like nails on a chalkboard to me. I didn’t really like the Boston Boys, but I was SO happy to see that race to the finish line. By the end, I wanted him to turn around on the mat and punch her lights out. I got so sick of her constantly calling him an idiot.

Jamie and Cara from last season were awful, stuck-up, racist bitches.

I’m up to the Jonathan and Victoria season watching reruns on Youtube, which also contains Freddy and Kendra. Since TWOP refers to her as KKKendra, I’m sure I’m in for some cultural insensitivity, at the very least.

Yeah…wait till KKKendra gets to Africa and listen to her…um…interesting positions on “breeding”.

Frankly, I would have rated her as much worse, except that by comparison to Jonathon, she was Albert Schweitzer.

My “favorite” Jonathan moment was when they were in Senegal and saw the president of the country in a parade. He kept excitedly telling everyone, “I just saw the president of Synagogue!”