That horrible Sublime song- “Date Rape.” It’s just too…obvious. Utterly horrid lyrics. Way too self-righteous. Yes, okay, date rape is considered a “Bad Thing” by society- you aren’t being in the least radical or new in your little song. Just so irritating, really.
what?
no-one has mentioned train
drops of jupiter
???
have you all forgotten that this is the number one worst song of all time? overwrought, bland string section. mid tempo, most-boring guitar rock. and worst of all… the lyrics!
yo, check this out:
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
*
what are drops of jupiter… it makes no sense. it’s not deep! it’s shite!
She acts like summer and walks like rain
please, no… no more trite, meaningless metaphors!*
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June
wait, no… no… they didn’t actually rhyme ‘moon’ and ‘june’ did they?
oh, yes.
they did
::vomits::
etc. etc. etc. this song is obscene in it’s lack of musical and lyrical worth.
Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler. “Did you ever know that you’re my heeeee-ro??” Did you ever know that I change stations so fast I almost break the radio when your piece of crap starts, Miss M?
We’re supposed to be arguing over which song is the worst of all time! These songs all come from the last half-century!
What about half of the crappy da-Capo arias from late Baroque opera? Or those 600 songs about fish that Schubert wrote?
Nevermind my post. I got Oh Yoko (a good song) and Dear Yoko (a bad song) mixed up. I love Oh Yoko, and hate Dear Yoko
I am the Walrus is classic spaced out music. You can’t hate this song, it is classic Beatles. It is one of the best on Magical Mystery Tour, next to Your Mother Should Know and Blue Jay Way
Aw jeez. Someone had to go and mention (She’s) Having My Baby.
<hurl>
That wretched egotistical piece of saccharine tripe tops my list as the worst song of all time.
I managed to forget about it! For years! And you brought it back to mind! AAARRRGGHHH!!!
[sup]<whimper>[/sup]
jk1245 and Infectious Lass, that humongous, Mongo-sized piece of tripe, I’ve Never Been to Me* was by Charlene, may she burn in hell.
Sunspace, Lady in Red was Chris deBurgh. May he join Charlene in the everlasting fires.
My personal nomination is Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love by Glenn Medeiros. Just makes me want to vomit.
Oh, and add in most of Celine Dion’s recording career, just for good measure. And Mariah Carey.
“My Baby Takes the Morning Train” - Sheena Easton
I have to explain and defend “I am the Walrus”.
According to Mark Hertsgaard’s “A Day in the Life,” p. 230-1:
“The opening affirmation of human unity – ‘I am he as you are he/As you are me and we are all together’ – came to Lennon during an acid trip. But many of the subsequent verses were triggered by a fan letter he received from a student at his old high school… from a lad describing how a Quarry Bank literature teacher was pontificating on the real meaning behind the Beatles’ lyrics… John, already exasperated by the often mistaken analysis of Beatles songs by journalists, critics, and fans, was seized by a brainwave…After scribbling down these lines, John looked up with a smile and said, ‘Let the fuckers work that one out, Pete.’”
Yep, he was being obscurantist, but deliberately and hilariously so. And in musical/recording terms, the song is actually very sophisticated and innovative and decidedly postmodern in its sampling techniques.
But I forgot to mention Whitney Houston’s most-musically-irritating “I’ll Always Love You-uu-uu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u…” and the lyrically-most-insipid “The Greatest Love of All”. Wouldn’t many dogs start howling upon hearing things like that?
You’ve already mentioned the usual suspects. Here are my personal picks in the “Worst Song” category:
Lionel Ritchie’s “Dancin’ on the Ceiling”. The only thing worse than listening to this song is watching the video. How clever. Let’s rehash the old “room within a rotating cylinder trick” to make it look like you’re dancing up and down the walls. I would have found it much more entertaining watching him try to dance inside the drum of a cement mixer.
The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin”. You make it through most of the song only to be rewarded at the end with poetry that forces you to bleed from all of your orifices simultaneously. Audio Ebola. The same goes for that song of theirs which has the line “once upon a time in your wildest dreams.” To paraphrase the Simpsons, “wuss rock”.
Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page”. “Oh, I have been cursed by God Himself! Forced to perform for people who want to listen to my music in exchange for filthy lucre. My only comfort is in the nightly coupling with various and sundry groupies who offer themselves to me willingly. Even this torment is nothing compared to the truck drivers who ridicule my masculinity based upon the length of my hair. Whatever shall I do?”
Yeah, and worse than that, Lionel Richie, usually a top-rate songwriter, ripped off the famous Toyota slogan and used it as the chorus:
“Oh what a feeling
Dancing on the ceiling”
Lazy, lazy, lazy.
And what are these troglodytes on this board doing dissing the Man, otherwise known as Stevie Wonder? They are probably jealous because they know that they are not worthy to wipe his sunglasses.
There is absolutely no question that the worst song ever recorded is LFO’s “Summer Girls.” I’m actually angry right now just typing the title. Just remembering that this song exists sends me into fits of pure unadulterated rage. Watch out.
No Michael Bolton oeuvre yet? We’ll rectify THAT by mentioning “Love Is a Wonderful Thing”. While not my all time least favorite song, one of his “works” must be mentioned. No performer, not even Whitney Houston, can make me change radio stations faster than Mr. Bolton.
The pure evil that spews forth from the vocal cords of Mr. Bolton is so diabolical, it deserves its own freakin’ thread.
Ring my Bell by someone I can’t remember right now.
Someone dies for that one.
Broken wings. Even the half-clad Solid Gold dancers couldn’t prevent me from changing the channel when that overplayed dreck came one.
- So Tayyyke, These broken wiiings
and learn to fly again*
Someone dies.
Afternoon Delights or “Sky rockets in flight” depending on what you remember. This song only became popular because there was a sudden vacuum in the non-disco music industry that no artist was able to fill.
Anything by the Jets.
Anything by Wham!
That’s all that comes to mind right now.
Hey now, I like Drops of Jupiter. It’s even better Unplugged. The lyrics could, uh, use a little work. Me, I’m still cheesed off about Heard Her Call My Name, off the Velvet Underground’s White Light/White Heat album.
Whitney Houston and I Will Always Love You :eek:
AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH !
As if someone scratches with his fingernails on a blackboard.
Need a drink now even when typing it…
How has Barry Mannilow missed this?
At the Copa, copa cabanna-
oh- and we can’t dismiss WHAM=
Wake me up, before you go go
Don’t leave me hangin on like a yoyo
AMATEURS!! ALL OF YOU!!!
NOTHING BUT AMATEURS!!! 
My friends and I made up this game called "The Absolute Worst" wherein we try to think of the worst possible songs ever to torment each other with. I know, it's really sadistic- but it's fun as hell, too. The Rules are basically this: you get a point for every song that makes your opponent scream or wretch. If they actually like the song (never actually admitted except with a casual <shrug> "That song doesn't bother me") then its a draw and no points are given. Basically, points don't really count except for ego-gratification- the first person to surrender loses.
What is really bad is "pinging" other people and getting pinged by them. This is an offshoot of The Absolute Worst that developed a life of its own. (We've been doing this for years.) There are no points involved unless you count sadistic joy. Pinging happens in normal conversation:
1st person: blah blah work and blah <pause>
2nd person: <singing> ah giddy up ah oom papa oom papa
mow mow
1st person:AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
2nd person:<evil laughter> ping!
Here are some of our most hated songs that I haven't seen mentioned or nominated-but perhaps should be considered:
Every rose has its thorn--by Poison
I guess thats why they call it the blues--by Elton John
Sussudio--by Phil Collins
Karma Cameleon--by Culture Club
You make me feel like dancing--by Leo Sayers
Three times a lady--by the Commodores
China girl--by David Bowie
Carry on my wayward son--by Kansas
The Girl is mine--by M.Jackson & P.McCartney
Lonesome loser--by Little River Band
When you're in love with a beautiful woman--by Dr. Hook
Lovin, touchin, squeezin--by Journey
Take it on the run--by REO Speedwagon
Okay, maybe those aren’t the worst songs out there (it’s hard to beat “Coward of the County”) but they do contain that all-important annoyance factor.
<hijack>
To be honest, I don’t know why you’re voting just for the worst song when you could (maybe should?) be voting for the worst band ever. IMHO it would be a toss up between:
FOREIGNER-Hot blooded/Headgames/I wanna know what love is/Feels like the first time/Dirty white boy/Cold as ice/Urgent, etc…and…
HALL & OATES-You’ve lost that loving feeling/Sara smile/Private eyes/Kiss on my list/Maneater/rich girl/Family man/I can’t go for that (no can do), etc…
Wow. I mean REALLY WOW. I always knew they really sucked, but to see the list of their atrocities just brings it into focus. They should both die horrific and fiery deaths. Repeatedly. They should be mauled and raped by vultures at least as many times as people have suffered diarrhea and blindness from their music.
<end of hijack>
My nomination-my own personal most hated/would rather remove my own utereus than listen to song:
Owner of a lonely heart–by Yes
Just thinking about it makes me break into a cold sweat. <must overcome urge to kill> excuse me Imust
kill somethingbefore my eyeballs bleed again from THATSONG…
Romana
p.s. <ping!>:D